From the Shores of the Ottawa River

Tomorrow, November 11th, 2023 is our 31st wedding Anniversary.  11/11 at 11 am. 

It has  been a lovely journey.  Much has changed. Technology with electric self-driving cars, the internet exploded, we have a son, Andrew, 2 granddaughters. Yesterday we installed a smart home security system that can be operated using our iPhones. 

What has remained consistent is my love for the partner I chose on this journey.  I am not going to sugar-coat it, we have had some difficulties, health issues, family deaths, and financial concerns.

That said, there was nothing that got thrown at us we could not handle because we stand together and supported each other. 

Still, I wish I knew 30 years ago what I know today.   Mainly, the importance of doing what was necessary to maintain and cultivate my physical health. 

Having just started my sixties I can truthfully say I have never experienced any degree of existential crisis.

I always knew my purpose in life, but it became more apparent after a stroke in 2018 and after reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Viktor Frankl who developed logotherapy.  Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, was a man who faced his problems and turned his objectives into actions.

31 years ago, I recall going for long walks in the Beach in Toronto.  The air was cold, and it had been rainy and damp the week before we got married.  I was  happily in love with the  man I had only met two months earlier.  I was not looking for a relationship because I was content being single.  I was lucky enough to be fearless enough to accept Alan as he was.  I didn’t want to change a thing about him.  Now, there are things I would love to see him change. LOL!  Like to pay more attention to his health, and to live fearlessly, not to be afraid because it is when we lean into fearlessness, we become unstoppable and live a bigger life. We don’t know how much time we have left together, and it is important that fear does not stop us from living 10.

We had a whirlwind romance, filled with dates, dinners, and Chinese food ordered in and eating in it in front of the fireplace. His living room would smell like wood burning as we watched the Blue Jays playoffs in their first World Series win. 

My then fiancé, Alan was into recording and creating his own music. He introduced me to Keith Richards and took me to see the Goldberg variations being played.   He gave me a Keith Richards CD and a key to his house my first weekend at his house.  I played  the CD frequently when I was not visiting him in Toronto.

Hubby continues to  enjoy music, and often recommends new music to me. Sadly, he no longer creates his own music.  Some of the joy in his life is replaced with the stress of having to work in his 70’s.

A novel he wrote is waiting for him to set it free into the world.  He is hesitant because he cannot bear to have it fail.  I have been encouraging him too set it free because it is a fantastic novel. The hard part is done now he needs to be brave.  

If I have learned any lesson in the 31 years together it is not to be afraid. We were once both fearless and got married after only knowing each other for two months, a much bigger risk than anything in our lives since.

We took a leap of faith as two crazy in love people and created a  strong marriage lasting 3 decades, so far.

Alan, let that novel free so others can enjoy it! Make that my Anniversary gift.