From the Shores of the Ottawa River

Oprah Winfrey embodies all of us who have a dream.   She was born into poverty and became the richest African American woman in the 20th century.  She is a beacon for those of us who see her as a possibility for a successful life and living our best life.   I admire Oprah Winfrey, I can relate to some of her background. She, creates energy around her that inspires others, including me. I was born into poverty like her. I was raised with 10 brothers and 5 sisters.

I am going to interview her on my podcast this year. As I researched her for my podcast I discovered like me, she has a fear of flying over the ocean. My first flight over the ocean was to Poland to study at the University of Warsaw. I was so scared. Yet I overcame that that fear, like she did to get to Hawaii her home and to Africa to her girls school, her passion.

That said, what sets her apart from most of us is her unwavering tenacity, perseverance, and willingness to have challenging conversations.  That made her talk show a huge success.   It appears that she never gave up on her dreams until her dreams became her reality.

If you recall her talk show she delved into deep questions, interviewing people like Deepak Chopra, and German spiritual leader Eckhart Tolle.

An online series that she hosted led me to me to a good friend in Australia, Carol.  The class had over 2 million subscribers.

After 25 years Oprah ended her talk show by delivering an hour-long “love letter.”  I, with millions of others watched. 

She impacted many people either directly or indirectly.   I  hate to confess that she had an impact on me, despite my conscious efforts to the contrary.  If Oprah endorsed it, I would immediately walk away from it.  It was not personal to Oprah the person.  I think she is a lovely lady, but it is more of a reaction to the industry that is Oprah. 

The truth is I am a type of person who abhors trends, groupies, or fads. The whole “Oprah craze” was way too cultish for my liking, although watching her talk show was my guilty  pleasure. People were following her every word, liking her “favorite things,” reading books she recommended in her book club, without a critical mind or second thought.     Admittedly, that is not Oprah’s fault.  She is a supreme creator, generous, spiritual and kind. I love her.

in 2018 I was gifted from a book from hubby.  Horror of horrors, he gave me a book, A New Earth recommended by Oprah!  What was he thinking?  It sat untouched for weeks, and then one day, I picked it up and started reading, and I must say it changed my life.

Intrigued, I decided to google the author and that led me to Oprah.   Oprah was doing her first online web course with the author, Eckhart Tolle.  I signed on for the full ten weeks!  But that is not the most interesting part. 

It was through the comments section that I met Carol who because we had so much in common became fast friends.  The crazy thing is, we were more connected than we could have imagined.  

Coincidently, she knew my niece who was a SA police Officer and living in Australia at the time.  Moreover, she also knew an aboriginal elder I visited on a previous trip to Australia. In fact, believe it or not, she lived right next door to him.  If I had visited him, I would have possibly met her!   Over two million people were on that message board and the messages where changing quickly.  How we ever connected, being from different time zones, in different countries, is beyond chance and incredibly, Oprah facilitated it.   I had the good fortune to travel to Australia that fall but my schedule was too hectic for me to meet Carol in person, it would have been heaven to have tea and cookies with her.

In my head, I am Oprah’s best friend. A fabulous rich woman and an Indigenous podcaster, two strong independent women.   I’ve composed long letters in my head to her setting out my reasons for disagreeing with her and hopefully be persuasive  enough for her to see it from my point of view, we would go for tea and become friends.  

I had some concerns with Oprah’s school for girls in South Africa. Taking children from their families to give them “a better life”  away from for their culture and families, they wore a uniform like a private school. It  smacks too much like how the residential schools in Canada  that were set up by the  Catholic Church to deliver a policy designed by the government of Canada, a policy designed to strip children of their cultural identity replacing it with shame that followed them throughout their life. It was a catastrophe for generations within the Indigenous population of Canada. at the time that she set up the School for Girls in Africa I would have loved to have had a conversation with Oprah about my experience in residential school and those of my brothers and sisters. I would have cautioned her about the direction she was taking her School for Girls and look at ways to mitigate the sense of separation and not feeling good enough. And yes the trauma. that goes with it.   

Our serious conversations (in my head) are most often about how the boundaries between her public life and personal life are muddled. As she became increasingly richer and more  isolated from the masses the two become one leaving little room for her to be her “authentic self” and who to trust becomes gradually more difficult.

Kitty Kelly published an unauthorized biography, Oprah, Kitty and Me (interview with Matt Lauer and Erica Jong).

I read the book, and by and large feel that Kelly did a balanced job of writing about Oprah’s life, despite the difficulty in getting sources. However, Kelly writes mostly about what she thought were the tantalizing and sensational bits of Oprah’s life, which occurred before Oprah became “Oprah.” Maybe that’s what she thinks sells, but it does not make a great book, in my opinion.

The argument biographers have in writing about someone, especially if it is unauthorized, is that this person is in the “public” and the public has the right to know. I think this premise is wrong. I really don’t care if she (Oprah) had a rebellious teenage phase.  Who hasn’t? Indeed, fragments of our past  often do not create a clear picture of who we are in the present. More importantly,  it is no one’s business.

I would much prefer to read an authorized biography than an unauthorized one for exactly the reason that it is their life, and it is up to them what they want shared publicly.

It is no wonder that Oprah must go to extremes to keep her life private.

In my head, it will always be just Oprah and me. It can’t get much more private than that. Of Course I cannot take Gail’s place, but I hope they would make room for me.

We only have one life and she, my best friend (in my head), Oprah, is living her best life, for which she needs no apology. And who knows whether we will become friends or not; life can surprise, and we need to be open to that surprise.  She  has a podcast, and I have a podcast, Emphatic Witness. Who knows, we may one day be a guest on each other’s podcast. Stranger things have happened like meeting a friend on a message board of over 2 million people in a different country! When Oprah calls I will answer her call.