From the Shores of the Ottawa River

The first time I heard that someone I knew passed away, it was my grandmother, Christine Adam. She died on the operating table. I had a quick and visceral reaction to the news of her passing. I was a 21 year old student with my life ahead of me and my grandmother’s life ended. It was a jarring insight that we never know how much time we have on earth.

Yesterday, November 16, 2024, my nephew Shawn John died in his sleep. Hearing about his death is more difficult because he was young and was doing important work in Vancouver B.C.

I come from a very large family of 16. Christine, my grandmother had eleven children, my uncle had 21 children, including two sets of twins. I have many cousins.  

As a result, it’s becomes normal to hear about the deaths of family member.s Since the COVID pandemic, over 10 immediate family have passed away. Shawn John, the most recent death  was my nephew. Shawn John was in his 40s. He had three brothers a daughter, and a son.

My head feels like it’s in a clamp grip, pounding. Whatever I am feeling, his mother my sister Rose, is experiencing 100 times more grief. She still has not processed the loss of her youngest son, James. He died a couple of years ago. Her grandson died six months after James.  How much more can she take?

My first thought after hearing about Shawn’s death, is that I didn’t know him very well.

But I knew that he was authentic, caring, and and an empathic young man.

He volunteered in the downtown eastside, Vancouver, BC. assisting people who had overdosed on fentanyl. He was dedicated. He made a difference. I don’t know how many lives he saved from an overdose, by administering Narcan. I have no doubt he will be missed by many people.

Family deaths are poignant reminders that the line between life and death is one heartbeat away. Never avoid any one’s call, and tell family often you love them.