We search to find meaning in someone’s life. We search for answers to their existence. At times, especially during moments of loss and grief, we look for meanings in their life to ease our pain. That is the human condition. We search because we think if we can attach value to their life, then their life meant something. But of course, their life always had meaning.

I have always held the view that the meaning to our life is not measured by possessions. Instead, it is not about money, cars, houses, or fame. It is found in the simple joy and happiness we spread to others. It is found in a meaningful chat, a hug, or a cup of coffee. Sharing a doughnut or ice cream is also a part. All of it is a collection of moments. How they made us FEEL. How they continue to make us feel when we are together and nothing else matters—not yesterday, tomorrow, nor any worries. We think of that person. This puts a smile in our hearts. We feel happy knowing that we are (or were) part of their life.

The value of someone’s life is in direct relation to what they added to our life. We are all connected, and death does not separate our connection. It is not the end. It is a continuation of our connection; it just looks different. A wise monk once explained it this way. When you see a cloud in the sky and it disappears, it really has not gone away. It has just changed. It has changed into rain that feeds the sunflower seed, which then grows into a fully grown sunflower. It just changes form. It changes to rain that feeds the tea plant. This rain changes into a lovely cup of tea. The tea nourishes and gives you a sense of calm and happiness as we sit to enjoy it. It changes, but it does not disappear. As the sun sets, it does not cease to exist. It is still there. In the morning, it will rise and give energy to the crops, plants, and humans. It exists in the smiles of people who are enjoying its rays. It just changes form. It is in the lovely flowers in your backyard. It is the trees that are giving you shade. Yes, of course, all life has meaning and is not tied to distinction. It is in our connection to one another that gives us value, and it doesn’t disappear when we pass on. The feelings we experience and will continue experiencing as we think about this person lives on.

ALL life has value. One last thought: I don’t like the phrase “at least they are no longer suffering.” Because as good as the lack of pain is, IT IS STILL SAD. When my brother passed, it broke my heart. AND true, he didn’t have pain, but it made me so very sad that he is gone. I see him all over the place, and that gives me happiness. I know he wants to see me happy. I see his passing not as a conclusion to his life but a continuation. It is a continuation to me, to my happiness. I am just being grateful that he was in my life as my brother. I see him in the music I listen to, which he used to enjoy, which makes me happy. I see him in the eyes of his children and grandchildren. I see him in the skyscrapers in New York where he absolutely had the best time of his life. I see him and feel him in the hugs of my son, who he adored. All life has meaning. That meaning resides in the hearts of all the people he affected in some small way. Even a smile and memories bring a smile to our heart and that warm feel-good feeling.