From the Shores of the Ottawa River

“Life will offer you with people and circumstances to reveal where you’re not free.” — Peter Crone
“Nothing is either good or bad; it is thinking that makes it so.” — William Shakespeare

In this chapter, I write about the lifelong work of freeing myself from ego. This is the voice that seeks validation. It clings to identity. It whispers that I am only enough if others say so.

My insights come from listening—to podcasts, music, spiritual teachers, and life itself. I share because I want others to know: this is a path worth walking.

When we feel hurt or wronged, it’s natural to ask: Why am I reacting this way? Often, unresolved childhood trauma erupts. It interprets a current moment as a familiar story from our past. This is not the truth of what’s happening now.

As Dr. Gabor Maté recounts, even a minor disappointment can trigger a disproportionate response:

“I land at the airport … ‘Never mind’—I take a taxi home. I arrive home … I don’t even talk. I just grunt at her … most of me is in the grips of the distant past. This physio–emotional time-warp … is one of the imprints of trauma.”【3】

His words are a powerful reminder: even deeply wise people can be hijacked by old wounds. Ego seizes the narrative, and for a moment, the witness slips away.

When I feel triggered, I pause and ask: What is this moment teaching me—humility, empathy, the need to let go? It’s taken years of meditation. Buddhist spiritual practice helped. My own Dene teachings guided me. I now recognize ego as a passing shadow. It is not who I truly am.

A friend once asked me, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” That question stays with me. Choosing happiness over being right opens space to forgive. It opens space to understand. It allows me to reclaim power—not over others, but over my own reactions.

For example: someone doesn’t return my call. My ego spins a story—they don’t care, they don’t respect me. But maybe they missed my message or got busy. The ego, not the event, created my suffering. Realizing that—the upset is mine—means I can choose differently.

Ego says, “You must be right.” Spirit says, “You can be free.” Owning 100% responsibility for our reactions restores agency. If our happiness relies on others, we’ll always feel powerless.

Dene teachings remind us to walk humbly—we don’t own the land, we belong to it. Buddhism teaches us that clinging is the cause of suffering, and letting go is the path to peace. If we merge these teachings, freeing ego is less about erasing identity and more about remembering our belonging.

I ask this again, both to myself and to you. Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be free? That question is my compass, again and again.

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