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Join Our Diverse Tribe: Fostering Engagement and Authenticity
OUT OF THE BOX ENGAGEMENT
In 2018 I created a group on Facebook named “We Belong”.
You may have wondered what is this group about, and what is the purpose of this group?
Thank you those who have joined me after I invited you, trusting me and accepting my invitation to join this group even when my intention for the group was less than clear.
The idea of this group came to me after listening to Author Radha Agrawal’s podcast about social connections, essentially, we as humans seek authentic social connections with others. We not only seek these connections it is important for our mental and physical health to have healthy relationships. Facebook, we have been led to believe would facilitate this connection. However, we started using it more artificially.
Furthermore, I have found that Facebook does not meet our need for this connection and a feeling of belonging, except when we get a DM. Social media is designed for more superficial entertainment use and to collect personal information. Instead of connecting us. It has created more isolation and dissatisfaction in our lives.
And more generally other social platforms have not found a way to engage each other instead we are having parallel conversations. Like ships passing each other in the night. I had a look at my friends and realized I have some awesome friends I have a tribe, I have a community and decided to bring them altogether in one place where we can design a community that works for us. My rational for creating a virtual community is due to my frustration of social media.
I am the administer of several groups. I use social platforms like twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. None of these platforms satisfy my need to connect. I find them superficial. Each of them ends up being pretty much the same as my personal Facebook page, in that people are not engaging with me on a deep authentic level. Perhaps they like a certain post but often will not contribute any more than a thumbs up. People post pictures, recap travel where they’ve gone, where they ate, and that is all good, but I’m looking for something more I am looking for serious conversations that are inspiring and thought provoking. Something more you.
For example, at dinner with a couple of friends our dinner conversation was electrifying and engaging. We discussed youth incarceration, restorative justice, the judicial system, and whether it was helpful in reforming criminals? The overcrowded penitentiaries and the impact of those on reforming criminals. We discussed healing lodge as a mechanism for reforming criminals who committed serious offenses. We discussed the cycle of alcohol on generations, how the youth are impacted by this trend. We discussed how youth are place in same prisons as harden adult criminals. Because once you were over the age of 18 you are treated as an adult and therefore will be placed with other adults. one of the examples discussed was how a stupid action while under the influence can change the trajectory of one’s life. We discussed how incarceration does very little to reform a person or even deter repeat offenders. The subject is serious and impacts our society. Of course, our conversation really didn’t resolve the questions, however you never know where such conversation will lead in the future as it percolates in the mind. Perhaps deep conversations like these can only happen face to face, but if we give this group a chance, I believe it can happen here as well.
The invitation Letter I sent to a few friends 6 years ago to join We Belong.
When I first started this group that each of you was carefully considered before I added you. I was looking for a compassionate person, an intellectual, a person with varied interest, a well-read person.I was looking for people who will make this group engaging, who would be authentic and have the highest integrity in their word and ensure that whatever they post will be inclusive and respectful. I believe each of you have some of these qualities. If I am correct in my assumption that you too are dissatisfied with your experience on social media, then I made the right choice to add you to this founding group.
What I would need from you is your word that you would be an active participant in the group. That you would be respectful, and kind in your responses. My promise to you is that I will facilitate and moderate the conversations and ensure that participants remain authentic, respectful, and helpful. I will ensure to keep this a safe place for sharing of ideas. Like the conversation over dinner last evening, we were able to discuss some very serious topic without it degrading to personal attacks but instead added value to the overall conversation.
Is this something you are interested and being part of? if yes, I am pleased to provide this forum for you. If not, – if this is too serious of a group, too intellectual, you can leave the group and I will not be offended. This is not for everyone. Because sometimes all we really want is to be entertained and there is nothing wrong with that.
I promised you is that I will facilitate, monitor conversations to ensure participants remain authentic and keep this a safe place for everyone. I have fulfilled my promise to the group, this is a safe place.
We can reset this group to realize my aspiration to feel connected. The key to it succeeding will be directly correlated to your participation! Which is why I carefully picked the first group of people keeping in mind how each of you will respond and to set the tone for the group. I value each one of you in the group and your opinion matters. I want to learn from you.
TOPICS can be introduced by anyone, provide a short synopsis with the question. Subject areas can be identified like health, books, neurology, philosophy, spiritual, psychology, relationships, food, medicine, culture, politics, religion you can introduce any subject if it is respectful and not offensive to anyone.
Racism and inciting hate will not be tolerated, and you will be requested to leave the group. I will make every effort to not control the dialogue, only facilitate and moderate.
I, honestly, I didn’t think of specific details of how this will work. I do know that I want to continue my daily meditation insights which I post on Instagram, twitter and sometimes my personal Facebook page. I have received feedback from many of you who have indicated you enjoy reading them. I see the insights as setting a tone for the group daily.
Having said the above, if you have any ideas of how this could work, how you want it to work, I welcome your remarks and we can design this with your input.
My intention is to create a community of like-minded people who are interested in having a real connection with each other. The goal is to meet our need for real social connections. We can work out the details as we go along. Now there are no hard and fast rules. The experiment was to see if we can override our automatic reactions and default reactions in response to what others post. Like distrusting others or being too shy to comment. Essentially, it is to create a new paradigm, a shift in how we relate on social media. This is a social experiment and I have no idea if it will work, or if this is the right platform, I am interested to see where it will go. If I find it is not working, I will let you know before I delete the group.
In my tribe we have CEO’s, lawyers, doctors. Artist, Indigenous elders, professors of law, and social work. Indigenous leaders, authors, people who participate at the UN on human rights. Students, Environmentalists, people who are concerned about the impact of our actions on the environment. And, in a word, game changers, innovators, thought provoker’s, some of you I known personally, and we connect on many levels, we have shared a meal, tea, and pleasant conversations. I like the idea of having you all meet each other for this experiment, and we will see where this leads us. Welcome to my tribe!
The first questions I posted to the group is if you oversaw the world what type of community you would create, keep in mind that this is a virtual community and now we have members from all over the globe. In this group, I hope that members would feel comfortable meeting each other in the real world. What would your values and goals be? Who would you invite? No one replied. It has been 6 years since I created this group, is it useful to you, or should I delete it?
Over the last six years I have posted on
- The weather
- loss and grief
- dementia and support
- Climate change
- I posted a link to my podcast to listen to conversations with ordinary inspiring people
- Happiness
- Sleep hygiene
- My Health
- Visitors
- Friends and family visiting
- Life on the river
Ottawa River -
THE FAMILY I CHOOSE
family picnic in an Edmonton park. The saying goes that we don’t pick our family, but we do pick our friends. I question that!
Sisters
L to RIGHT Dora, Rose, Liz, me, Mary, Annie 2016 Cahiron
Said another way, I believe that our soul, our true essence, picks the family we are meant to be born into and we decide how living within our family can help us to show up powerfully in life. You can be either a victim or a warrior. Further, I also believe I picked the best time to be born. I feel fortunate to be part of a family who shaped my character.
As Indigenous people, we are an extension of the natural world. There is a saying that we on some level pick the family we are born into from the spiritual realm before we are born. And I reflect on what being a Deranger teaches me. I am guided and inspired by my family and the lessons I am taught helps me move through life with grace.
As an Indigenous person, I believe that our genetic code and both the impacts of trauma and our challenges are transferred to us over seven generations. And in each generation we overcome weakness and learn lessons in this life. Which begs the question, why did I pick this family?
That said the study of astrology does point to something called cahiron, which are the lessons we are meant to learn in this life. Have you ever heard about an old soul; some people who appear to have lived many lives? The Buddhists believe we are reborn until we learn the answer to our suffering. It is our karma until the lesson is learnt.
Reasons
Taking this perspective as I do, gives me strength in how I respond to my life .
I chose the Deranger family. Instead of thinking it was random that I was born into this extraordinary family. Because it puts me in powerful position in that nothing in my life is done to me.
When I start from the position I choose everything in my life, even my family, means I don’t have room to blame anyone for how life treats me. I must learn from my experiences.
Background
Coming from a large Indigenous family, we were not wealthy in material things. However, we have something far greater, we have the guidance and protection of our ancestors. We have family who are caring, and lighthearted. My family taught me to be confident in my own skin.
Isidore Deranger my dad 1909-1992 Context
Deranger Family
My chosen family (of 16 children) in a Dene Indigenous family lived in Northern Saskatchewan before I was born. They lived in Uranium City (where I was born), then moved to Fort Chipewyan, and Fort Mcmurray in Alberta. In Fort Chipewyan we lived In a small hamlet without electricity or plumbing, with a mixed population of Dene, Cree, Métis, and people of European origin.
Let this sink in. I was raised with ten brothers, five sisters and our two parents in a one-room log cabin before we moved into a bigger house.
By and large it was a Roman Catholic household, but thankfully, my father Isidore was deeply rooted in our Denesuline culture of natural laws of nature. We are connected to our ancestral lands. My late brother Pat’s ashes were buried on our land, Denekizi. And the ashes of my late brother Roger, who passed on December 7, 2024 (incidentally my birthday) will be spread there this summer.
The final resting place of elder brother Pat Deranger (1951 – 2019). RIP The distinction between our worldview and that of the colonizers is the notion of good and evil, because within an Indigenous worldview there is no such thing as good or evil, heaven or hell, sin, or sinners. These do not exist in our reality. This is a Roman Catholic church construct designed to control their congregation.
Little me in front of our log cabin in Uranium City After all, we don’t ascribe sins to flowers, birds and other wildlife. The RC believes that a newborn is already a sinner, We exist like nature. in nature, and we are interconnected, and interdependent on one another. That is the Indigenous wouldview.
Recently my older brother Jimmy said, our culture is tied to the caribou, and our language. We were nomadic peoples. It is vital that we speak our Dene language, think first in Dene, he says. We Dene continue to utilize our traditional lands in all direction. And we always give offerings to the land and water.
When my ancestors hunted, fished or trapped they thanked the wildlife for giving their life for our food and we shared our food with our community. Our connection to the land is sacred.
The language we spoke at home is Chipewyan (Denesuline), a Dene dialect. My father was a hunter and trapper, and my mother made beautiful beaded Dene jackets, gloves, and moccasins for the family.
The last jacket my mom made for my son, Andrew There are no words to describe how I feel about this family, other than it is a blessing to be on this journey with my siblings and as one of the youngest, and the youngest female. I have always felt cherished and protected by my family.
I am truly blessed. There are a wealth of lessons to be learned growing up in a large Indigenous family of acceptance, compromise, and diplomacy, which led to me being tenacious with an unwavering spirit.
Our mother was a complex person. She was both firm but could be flexible. She was incredibly demanding and determined. But she was also generous, caring, and funny. Even though we had a full house she made room for other children who needed a safe place.
My mom, older brother Rossi (1957-2016) and me In turn, I stood for being the best daughter I could be for her, as I matured. I loved her unconditionally. Each time I thought of her, my heart would fill with pure joy and love for her. Even now 8 years after her passing I feel the love I have for her. I can honestly say that we’ve had an extraordinary relationship. I saw everything she did through the lense of my love for her and her love for all of us.
My mom’s likeness done by artist Margaret Ferraro. com 
My mom Therese Deranger (1919-2016) The lessons I learned from my Deranger family are
- Speak up when an injustice occurs — which is why my career was in Indigenous land claims.
- Love unconditionally
- Don’t be afraid to take risks
- Accept the knowledge link to our ancestors is strong and they are always close beside us helping and protecting us
- Remember the words of the elders
- Respect all living beings
- Show up in life, listen and be present
6 generations matriarch 
My oldest brother Peter (left) and my late brother Roger (right) (Denekizi) 
Our traditional land – home of Dene Kizi Academy Land based teachings 
Dene Kizi Academy 2022 
Future traditional knowledge keepers 
Mom and sons and other male descendants on her 90th birthday. -
Life peppered with Gratitude is a life worth living
On the Ottawa River on a friend’s boat Being happy means living your best life and not being afraid that others see it.
legends say that hummingbirds float free of time carrying our hopes for love, Joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, and every personal connection has meaning. laughter is life’s sweetest creation.
Being authentic, is not always the easy, Being happy means living my best life and not being afraid to let others see me.
Recently someone asked what I do. I responded I am a writer, a blogger she asked are you an influencer. I said no, I’m not an influencer, however I do have a blog and I am the host of Empathetic Witness Podcast with Angelina. If I inspire others to live their best life it makes me happy.
The moments of my life are not staged for social media. Gratitude highlights the positive in my life, and happiness is being present for those moments.
You, and only you, decide how you will react to situations either of your own doing or someone else’s actions. You decide how you will react . It is simple. Don’t make it complicated. If you want to be happy, you can be because you’re in charge of your feelings. all it takes is a change in perspective.
Some situations will take more effort on your part, like a muscle you need to exercise. Remind yourself when you notice your reaction can either hurt or give you peace and change the story.
For example, A regret I had years ago when I did not support a friend, and I felt she felt betrayed by my actions. I later called her to apologize. She understood why behaved as I did, and she said she was okay. A big-hearted response, and it changed my story of the event. I realized in that moment that it was my own perspective that was making me feel badly.
Being 100% authentic, may not always be the easiest route to take. I am grateful to have family who are not afraid to have a good belly laugh and live life not taking themselves too seriously.
My cousin 
My sisters! 
My sisters enjoying a joke! -
Navigating Life
Ottawa River I’m sharing something very personal, a challenging situation I have had most of my life, because I hope that both my struggles and my insights may be of use to you in your life, in some way. In fact, This by far, is the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever shared on a social media platform in the hopes that something about my journey will support you on yours.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a blog writer, podcaster, and the founder of a charitable foundation, seventhgift.ca I’ve held executive positions most of my career.
I had poliomyelitis (polio) as a child, shortly after I started walking. I know that a lot of folks might not know much about polio because it’s been nearly eradicated over the last 65 years. But as a child when I got hit with it, polio was one of the most feared diseases on the planet. You might even question, how I got polio when the polio vaccine was available before I was even born. I am Indigenous; and my parents lived in an Indigenous community. Need I say more?
In those years, polio was killing thousands of children worldwide every summer and paralyzing tens of thousands more. The numbers were in the millions.
We can celebrate that rates of polio have dropped phenomenally around the world since then. In recent years, there have been only a few hundred cases per year of polio in the entire world, mostly in 3rd world countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan.
I have no memory of the incident except what I’ve been told. One day I was paralyzed, and I couldn’t walk. And after a while, the feeling and movement began slowly to return. But the process of regaining use of my legs was slow, and only after many surgeries I was able to walk again.
In the 60’s and 70’s polio was treated by orthopedic doctors because there was little experience understanding that it affected the motor neurons in the spine. I was fitted with long braces on both legs, but eventually only need a short brace on my left leg.
When I entered adulthood, the prognosis was that I would never walk normally, or run due to weakness and discrepancy in my left leg.
After a partial stroke in 2018 I decided to update my brace. it had been over 20 years since I had a new one.
My stroke doctor, who I respect, referred me to an orthopedic specialist, who refused to give me a prescription for the type of brace I had as a child, one which allowed my ankle to move as I walked. She said that with the weakness in my left leg this brace was not suitable for me. When I allerted my specialist, he said he couldn’t do anything about it. He replied to my email when I brought it to his attention saying:
“This Dr. is my department’s expert in this field and you have been seeing her. I’m not passing the buck, but should not this be going to her?” “
She told me clearly, I will not give you a prescription for the brace you want. What was I to do? I felt defeated. Based on research and decades of experience dealing with my challenges, I was convinced that the current rigid brace she recommended would only create complications for me down the road, as I got older. My research showed that a movable ankle is necessary to lubricate joints in my leg, my knees, and my hips. We are not meant to be in a unmovable brace, it is not natural. In 2023 there must be braces that are supportive and yet allow for some natural movement.
I saw my GP, who fortunately understood what I was asking for and, he provided a prescription for a hybrid brace, a mix of a rigid and movable ankle. The process took me two years and now I have exactly the brace I wanted and needed (see the photo). Indeed, I have captured some independence, I feel as though I’ve got my life back to some degree. I recently saw a professional who confirmed that my hip joints were stiff and not rotating in a natural way. I need to mitigate further damage in my hips, and I believe this brace in part is how to do that.
Developing Post-Polio Syndrome (PPS)
Poliovirus Then and Now
I developed post-polio syndrome, or (PPS) when I was 32, and to that point I had not heard the term despite living so many years with polio. You may never have heard of post-polio syndrome, either, and this is true of most physicians too. A significant percentage of the people who got polio and survived, and particularly those who worked extra hard to achieve things despite having been stricken with the disease, have suffered later in their lives from this condition. To add to the complication of PPS, I suffered a partial stroke during surgery in 2018. I have trouble walking; it is not clear how much is related to stroke or the PPS.
The medical literature says this about PPS. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371137/
It affects between 25–40% of polio survivors. And unlike polio itself, PPS is not contagious. But PPS is serious. Parts of the body that regain movement after being paralyzed by the original polio can again become paralyzed.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-polio-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355669
Nearly all polio survivors who develop PPS do so within 15–40 years after their initial polio. When I first noticed symptoms, I was told it was age related and that everybody loses muscle strength. I was 32.
I’m doing the best I can with it, including getting as much exercise as I possibly can, which is a challenge when your legs don’t work well and you worry about falls. I believe in doing all I can with what I’ve got. And, of course I’m doing everything I can that might help me to retain as much quality of life as possible, which is why I fought to get the brace I knew I needed to give me quality of life.
I’m listening, in every moment that I can, for what I can learn and what I can love on this journey. In fact, when I start to feel depressed or start to feel sorry for myself, I will often think about Viktor Frankl and what he endured, and yet he came out on the other side whole . Or I’ll recall some of the things I love. Not just the things I like — that just wouldn’t be enough to shift my energy. But the things and the people I truly love. Like music, reading, writing, and having a purposeful life.
I’m going to be honest. was not all sunshine and roses, especially having to work hard against conventional “expert” medical thinking to get a brace I knew would make my life better. What I have learnt is no matter the challenges, one must look first to give meaning to it, and then move into action to improve their situation. As an Indigenous person I am carried on the backs of my ancestors.
I am my own avocate -
WE ARE NOT GARBAGE; SOMEONE KNOWS SOMETHING And CHOOSES TO REMAIN SILENT
In this blog are my thoughts on the matter of Missing and Murdered Indigenous women in Canada. (MMIW) Caution: reading this blog may be triggering to some.
My intention for writing this blog Is to motivate and inspire you, the reader to want to make a difference in this matter. You might think, how can I make a difference? I have some suggestions below on how you can help. Don’t disappoint me, please. Comment if this topic makes you think or do you remain indifferent.
First, I am an Indigenous woman from northern Alberta. If I went missing, I am confident my family would be concerned and would look for me. Not because I am educated, and a contributing member of society who pays taxes, but because I am a human being, and I matter!
My point is it shouldn’t matter if I were a drug addict, homeless and or earning a six figure income for people to care if get murdered.
My Connection to two victims
I imagine, because of the large number of missing and murdered Indigenous women, there must be several people in Canada who have been touched by either knowing someone who is missing or knowing of someone who is related to someone who is missing or has been murdered.
It is interesting being that I am from a small hamlet of less than 1500 people, and I know TWO Indigenous women who were murdered. A childhood friend first went missing, and then was found murdered in the United States. She was my classmate at Holy Angels Residential school in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. I remember Sandra as a young girl with a beautiful smile. She was smart too. Years later, I had heard she made some questionable choices in her young life. One summer, she made a fatal mistake. She decided to go hitchhiking into the United States and was not heard from again.
Much later, her family received a call from the RCMP with devastating news that was delivered by phone, not even in person. The officer described how her body was dismembered and disposed of in garbage bags. Her DNA sample was the only way she was identified. Her killer is a person who picked her up and gave her a ride and was never convicted of her murder. Sandra was only 24 years old.
Ms. Amber Tuccaro, whose killer’s voice was heard on a chilling cell phone recording linked above is just one piece in a RCMP investigation, was also from my community, and was the daughter of my older brother’s classmate. We owe it as a society to care and to take some sort of collective action. I challenge everyone reading this blog post to do something. Write the PM’s office and demand he does something about the missing and murdered Canadian Indigenous women and girls. At the very least, share this blog on your social media. Do not underestimate the power you have to make a difference.
If we remain silent, our collective inaction speaks volumes about who we are as a society. The message this sends is loud and clear to me and perhaps to the murderers living freely among us, that Canadian Indigenous women and young girls can be raped, killed, and disposed of like garbage. When did our society become so indifferent to the violence against Indigenous women and girls? That is a rhetorical question because since colonization very little value has been placed upon an Indigenous person’s life.
It must STOP. Where is the outrage?? We need answers! They were human beings, members of our society. We should have protected these Indigenous women.
Sadly, we continue to hear stories of the discovery of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in 2023 and it will continue until we change our attitude about Indigenous women .
Are you interested enough to ask the questions?
- Who is doing this to the Canadian Indigenous women and girls?
- How many murderers are walking among us?
- Where are the bodies of these women and girls? If nothing else, we need to put them to rest by finding the bodies and bringing them back to their families for a proper respectful burial.
- How can you help
Consider if someone is murdering women and girls it could be someone you know. Even more of a concern, since this is not an isolated or regional matter, and is happening across Canada. There could be many murderers among us. Many Indigenous women have disappeared on the trail of tears highway in BC.
Recently Canadian serial killer Paul Bernardo has been in the news because he was transferred to a medium security prison. I remember in the 90’s, at least 3 people knew it was Bernardo who was raping and murdering teenage girls. These were Caucasian girls.
It makes me angry that as recent as this week an Indigenous young woman’s body was discovered in a landfill, discarded, like garbage. It is incomprehensible the outrage is only coming from Indigenous communities. It reinforces the belief that there is little value in an Indigenous woman’s life. Am I wrong?
Amber’s dismembered body was found in a ditch in Alberta the summer of 2012, Over 20 years ago, two years after she went missing. RCMP are appealing to the public to identify the voice in a recorded call from a cell phone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mEeyd1sF6g Her murderer was never found.
A woman’s body was recovered from Winnipeg’s landfill on Monday July 17, 2023, the second in 10 months, with more believed to be buried.
The landfill is currently closed as police continue to investigate after 33-year-old Linda Beardy’s body was discovered at the beginning of the week. It should never be reopened as a landfill. “It should be turned into a memorial site because we know that there is more,” it was reported to CBC Manitoba Information Radio host Marcy Markusa on Thursday. In the context of this society bodies of murdered Indigenous women will be dumped if not this land fill, in other places where it would be as difficult to discover.
The truth is I am at a loss. I realize anger doesn’t help but is it enough to motivate you the reader to do something? What would it take to see a modicum of emotion and compassion about these girls and women from you? Well, to be fair, I do believe you care, how could you not care. However, I am not as sure that the enormity of the situation is really appreciated. Until you have personally experienced a loved one murdered you cannot fully understand the anger, the grief, bargaining and acceptance. Let’s say I was able to reach you and you ask the question what can you do? The first thing you can do is get on social media with the hashtag Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women #MMIW. Share this blog with your network encourage them to get on social media with the hashtag #MMIW.
The question remains, where are they? The conservative numbers of missing and murdered women is over 5,000. If your family member disappeared, what would you do to bring awareness.
What Next?Mr. Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, does it matter how many more must be reported missing or found pulled from dump sites, having been murdered? The Prime Minister has many priorities, but this must be one of them. The conversation around the discovery in a Manitoba landfill is disgusting, it is about the cost and manpower to continue searching the landfill, so they gave up leaving the enormous task to the Indigenous people. Sadly, I can’t be convinced it were a Settler, a non-Indigenous woman the conversation would be on cost. Nonindigenous women would be concerned that a murder is out there. They would organize themselves so they would be protected and safe. I am afraid the truth is there is virtually no value placed on an Indigenous woman’s life.
Why are the Prime Minister of Canada (PM), Royal Canadian mounted police (RCMP) desensitized to the plight of the surviving families, the parents, the siblings, and the friends of the Indigenous women who have disappeared or been found murdered?
Remember the Pickton murders in BC? Police were informed there may be a serial killer preying on indigenous women from Vancouver’s lower East Side. These concerns fell on deaf ears. It begs the question can Indigenous bodys be more dishonoured, in a landfill or given to pigs to be eaten so the evidence is destroyed. Both are equally disrespectful. Let’s not forget the Gladue case in Alberta. Thankfully, in that case the murder was charged.
In 2014, the Canadian premiers unanimously supported the request for an inquiry. Finding the body of Ms. Tina Fontaine had renewed the call to Mr. Harper then Prime Minister of Canada to call for an inquiry. Still, he remains steadfast against it.
An incomplete list of women and girls who have vanished or been murdered
RCMP Report Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women
Dr. Sarah Hunt What Should Be Done
Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada
Sign the Liberal’s petition calling for a Federal inquiry into Missing and Murdered women
http://youtu.be/dBPo9FgRBj4 Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women in Canada video by grade 11 students.
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The Ugliness Of Social Media
At times, you need to wait to see clearly. Ottawa River affected by forest fires in Quebec It doesn’t matter to me what you believe about politics, religion, or vaccines, or if you are gay, single, or bisexual. I won’t hate you if we disagree. If we’re friends or family, I will look past our differences and look at what we have in common. At the end of the day I can choose to ignore your comments if you don’t agree with me, and get on with my life. You’re free to do the same. So what if you hurt my feelings?
Indeed I might get upset by something you said, but not enough to go to the extreme of disowning you. It has been done to me and I saw it it as an overreaction and it didn’t require the same reaction from me. I won’t play that game. Honestly I tried to get back the relationship, especially with family, (you know who you are). I am human after all, and I have feelings. But, I have moved on.
That said, if I feel you’re open-minded and mature enough to have a debate, I might debate with you. The truth is that no matter what our differences might be, I won’t take your opinion personally because it has nothing to do with me, even if your comments are directed at me. It is merely your opinion. and you have a right to it.
In the wake of the implosion of the Titanic submarine a few weeks ago, social media was flooded with personal opinions. There have been numerous comments on the tragedy and the fallout on social media was swift. Many people have unfriended each other based on what these comments meant to them. To be sure, there were some ugly comments in the news feeds. Emotions were volatile. By and large people held very strong opposing opinions. Mean things were written, and shared widely, largely to people who didn’t even know each other.
I was disappointed to discover even Indigenous peoples joined in the negative conversation. It was mixed with the notion of colonization and the disdain for the uber rich. Many Indigenous peoples see through the lense of colonization. Even celebrations like July 1, or Thanksgiving can seem negative when seen through this lense.
Personally I can separate colonization from the rich throwing caution to the wind to explore. Let’s not forget people died. However, I am thankful there are people brave enough to explore vast oceans, as long as they don’t upset the ecosystem. They are human too and it was their choice. Exploration creates a bigger world, and new discoveries .
Which begs the question, is social media making us inflexible and stupid? Are we becoming more egocentric, in that we believe our opinion matters and is paramount? I think, yes, we are and yes, we most certainly seem to be.
Social media gives us a false sense of courage, and ironically our anonymity online makes us feel important. The fact is that because we are not face to face, looking into the eyes of a person, that we have the courage to espouse our unfiltered and sometime knee jerk reactions to something we have read online . Often without knowing the context, but this can be an act of cowardliness. Furthermore, often we are not held responsible for the fallout that ensues after certain comments are posted. We can simply disappear from the conversation or troll silently following the discussion thread, feeling self-important, and right.
If I were to worry if someone won’t like what I blog about I might never blog at all. I urge you not to give up, exercise your creative outlet to blog.
I give pause when commenting on something I know little about. This is particularly true if I am commenting on something that has struck an emotional cord. Sometimes, I will read something online and say to myself, “OMG!” “idiot”, “Does that person not fact check”, “WTF!”, etc. then, I write a critical and judgmental comment. But I have trained myself to pause and decide whether to delete my comment because my opinion on social media to virtual strangers in the greater scheme of things, does not matter! I say to myself: is it worth my energy to continue?
I like that humanity is culturally diverse with varying points of view. I can’t imagine what this world would look like if everyone thought like me. Well, I can, and it would be awesome!
Overall, if you want a simpler life and keep your blood pressure down, don’t take everything you read on social media as a personal affront to your character, integrity, morals, or ethics. The more you let go of your ego, the freer you are and the less of a jerk you become. And if you are tempted to lash out in haste, it is very therapeutic to write exactly how you are feeling. But take a deep breath and then delete it or share it with a trusted friend. Maybe it will bring you a different perspective!
The foregoing was my opinion and hopefully it was not an affront to anyone who reads it.
Six generations of Indigenous women who never lost themselves on social media. -
Sunday LIVING INTO THE FUTURE
Ottawa River Sunset Over the summer, a technique I learned about in a course was how to live into your future.
We started with setting a date we want to accomplish something, and then you reverse engineer what you hope to accomplish by that date backwards until you reach today’s date.
For example, my friend Wants an organic orchard on his land not too far for from here. He asked me how can he accomplish this using this method? I gave him these steps to follow.
- Create your team. His team is a horticulturist, seed supplier, and a friend who has an orchard near Niagara Falls. He needs at least six members on his team.
- Meet with the team assign tasks and a system for measuring accountability.
- Map what needs to be done each week until you reached the specific date of completion.
- Visualize walking through the orchard look at the details how does the soil underneath your shoes feel is there a scent on the trees. I always have problems with this type of exercise because I have aphantasia, which means I can’t visualize images in my mind, but I can experience the feeling I want. Our brain does not know what is real or imagined, what feeling does a walk through your orchard give you I asked him?
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Inner Peace is in You
Discover Inner Peace 2022 March 13
It was after reading a friend’s Facebook page post it prompted me to write this blog post. Paul is a mediator and his words helped me focus on this piece. Thank you for your wisdom, Paul.
My garden Inner peace comes from a relationship that is based on acceptance, intimacy, and curiosity. Like a garden we need to weed out what does not serve us, and cultivate beauty, resilience,and strength. Sometimes this requires a change in perspective.
The late Zen Master, Thich Hanh Often wrote that peace should not be possessed, it should be a catalyst to help others suffering to discover peace.
As a long time, meditator, I am comfortable exploring my feelings in meditation. To know yourself more fully, explore with wonder each layer of who you are. My meditation practice became a lifeline after a brain injury a few years ago.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with left side neglect ((ischaemic right brain stroke during surgery, which meant at first , my brain could not recognize objects on my left side. I approached my brain injury with curiosity.
This injury led me to change my diet and empowered me to respond to a new version of who I am. I spent many hours researching the brain, reading, and listening to podcasts on neurology.
My first thought was not why me, but how interesting is it that our brain works like this. I was really intrigued. It was not easy but I persevered, and made peace with what happened by understanding what happened in my brain. One can always reconcile a negative event with a positive perspective. It helps the process to have the right question or statements of inquiry that will lead you to peace.
There is no right or wrong way of discovery. You’ll know it when it happens. I have found the key to peace is acceptance. Paul added the following steps, It is not verbatim. Meditate on these statements; to create a new perspective.
- I create my reality (trust). This perspective becomes available once we are aware of cause and effect.
- I am choosing what is happening (trust). Seeing ourselves as being endlessly creative.
- I welcome what is here (accepting our current experience).
- Appreciating physical sensations (intimacy). Appreciating the physical sensations in our body right now invigorates and increases the intensity of what we are experiencing. Think about eating your favorite food. When we slow down and taste each bite we feel more.
- I am the entirety of what I am experiencing (intimacy). What I am experiencing is creating the sense of me.
- Viewing life as being connect to all. (Cause and effect.,we are all connected) A flower does not exist without rain,sun and wind.
- I don’t know what I’m experiencing (Curiosity). Letting go of all ideas and labels about what it is we are experiencing. Looking at life as if we were a newborn baby seeing things for the first time. (wonder)
- I don’t know what I am. Creates space for possibilities.
- I experience a sense of excitement about what is about to happen next. Discovery of endless possibilities.
Discovering your way to a peace is not easy, we all have our own pain, sorrows, and fears. Give yourself time and space to embrace and recognize how you’re suffering. Be compassionate and gentle when,Starting an inquiry to self. However, remember there’s no right or wrong way to do this.
My meditation space/sauna -
Luezan Tue called Our Name
My family were environmentalists well before the term became popularized.
We are Denesuline people, from Northern Saskatchewan. We are strong, proud. Stewards, of Mother Earth. We take this responsibility seriously.
In the 70’s our dad answered the call of the land, and took his older children, to our traditional hunting lands. They hadn’t been back there for over 40 Decades until last summer of 2021. This is my dad’s legacy.
He answered the calling of the traditional lands, Luezan Tue, and inspired four generations to return to Djeskelni. He passed his baton to the next generation. He reaffirmed our sacred connection to the land. Everyone he took back to the land were transformed and carries the calling deep within their spirit.
In August, 2021, a small group of about of 17 family members went back to our land, organized by my nephew, Donald Deranger, who had gone there with Baba in the 1970s. They went to spread my late brother Patrick’s ashes around the lake to fulfill his last wish.It is clear to me that Patrick’s death facilitated a renewed interest back to our traditional land. The family answered the calling to return to the land. It is difficult to deny how powerful this spiritual calling is.
FAMILY MISSION
- Increase the quality of life for seven generations by building upon our rich Denesuline traditional heritage based on being stewards of the land, lending a helping hand, and create business ventures to generate profits and financial independence. Our family embodies Dene cultural tradition the pillars of which is respect, and to honour the teachings of our ancestors.
My family, like most Indigenous families, is complicated, affected by intergenerational trauma of colonialism, and residential school.
We have sometimes temporarily lost sight of family, our connection to each other and the spirit of our traditional lands. We are easily triggered and often will cut off one another from our life.
That said, I adore my Dene family, dysfunctions and all.
I read somewhere when you change the beginning of your story it changes the end of the story.
After I wrote this blog piece I went back and changed the beginning of our story.
I remain hopeful for the next seven generations. That they will continue to answer the call of our traditional lands. I see renewed interest in some of my nephews and nieces. The calling is strong in them, and I am hopeful.
Family Dene Camp 2021 
Djeskelni Bech’anie Decheny’ah Camp, on the south shore of Luezan Tue within the southwest region of the Etthen Edeli dialect region, about 40 miles south of Tu Cho, 
3 generations, my nephew Donald Deranger, his son, and grandchild. 
Sand dunes on our traditional lands 
Older sisters preparing wild meat from our land for the feast. 
Brother-in-law John Mercredi (not at the camp) when you listen closely to Dene drum you hear the heartbeat of the land. Acknowledgment
My brother, Roger for keeping traditional prophecies of the Denesuline alive.
My nephew Donald Deranger for holding the baton for the next generations, and last, but so important, my late brother Patrick, a sacred pipe holder for passing the baton to his daughter when he gave her the sacred responsibility and honour of spreading his ashes on our traditional land.
Patrick Deranger -
2022 striding into the new year with eyes wide open
My intention in 2022 is not about losing weight although I could stand to lose a few pounds, it is not about exercising more. I could do more of that too.
My intention, my goal for 2022 is to not live small, to show up in life because my actions matter and the people in my life deserve to see the very best version of myself, Which is to show up in service to indigenous peoples struggling with addressing their trauma.
The next Being a Leader course starts in January 2022. If your interested in creating the best life for yourself connect with Tanyss Munro tanyssmunro@gmail.com 2022 I will continue my journey of growth and transformation, particularly as it pertains to my foundation Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training. (G.I.F.T) I’m really excited To be part of a group of extraordinary humans on the foundation. Our vision has capabilities to be a game changer in the delivery of services to indigenous communities across Alberta.
First, I am excited to confirm renowned physician and expert on trauma Dr. Gabor Mate has agreed to support GIFT foundation in the capacity as advisor to our curriculum writers. secondly, we start the new year by inviting additional board members who hold expertise in the areas of psychology, sociology,, law, and curriculum development.
My late dad, Isidore and older brother Fred Deranger -
January 1, 2022!
Living on the river shore is captivating, every day there is something phenomenal happening on the river, the neighbors made a ice rink over the weekend. -
Rekindle Friendships: Host a Tea Ceremony This Summer
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how easily we can take the wonderful people in our lives for granted.
To fully embrace our connections this summer, I’d invite you all to consider inviting your BFF to tea, where you can enjoy some tea without distractions. (or coffee, if that’s your preference)
Imagine this: a lovely afternoon spent without the distractions of TV or our phones—just you and your BFF, catching up in a warm and inviting atmosphere, beyond the surface chit-chat.
It’s about deepening bonds, listening, and sharing meaningfully. Let’s kick off this little “tea ceremony” by the end of Summer. I believe it’ll become a cherished ritual you can all look forward to, enhancing your feelings of connection and belonging. I can’t wait to sip tea, share stories, and reconnect with my friend Maggie.
We have been having “tea” virtually for years because we live in separate provinces. I look forward to hearing about her children, work, and parents. 💖 My tea of choice is matcha. I enjoy matcha, and it elevates our tea perfectly.
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Trees and Humans: A Unique Connection
Trees and humans share remarkable similarities despite their differences in form. Like humans, trees have unique life cycles, growing from small beginnings into strong, mature beings. Their roots anchor them to the earth, much like human foundations—our families, cultures, and experiences—that shape who we become.Recently I’ve read several books on trees, I speak for Trees, Our Green Heart, and Hidden life of Trees. The more I learn of trees, I’ve become more enamored of the trees in my yard.
Beyond physical growth, trees and humans also communicate in unexpected ways. Trees use scents to send messages, much like humans do with pheromones, perfumes, and natural body odors. Scientists believe pheromones influence human attraction and relationships, creating a silent language of scent. Trees, too, have this ability. On the African savanna, giraffes feeding on umbrella thorn acacias triggered a fascinating response. The trees began pumping toxins into their leaves as a defense. But even more astonishingly, they released ethylene gas to warn neighboring trees of the impending danger. In response, the forewarned trees also fortified themselves, forcing the giraffes to move further away in search of unprepared foliage.
This silent communication extends beyond defense. Trees emit fragrances to attract pollinators, much like humans use visual and olfactory cues to draw attention. Blossoms release their scents purposefully, signaling bees to collect nectar in exchange for pollen transport. Even beneath the soil, trees exchange information through electrical signals. These signals travel via root-tip cells. This is akin to the way our nervous system transmits messages.
However, not all trees can “speak.” Those disconnected from their fungal networks or suffering from illness stay silent, unaware of approaching threats. Similarly, humans who are isolated or out of touch with their communities can struggle to navigate challenges.
Modern agriculture has disrupted this natural form of communication. Selective breeding has muted the voices of cultivated crops, making them vulnerable to pests and necessitating heavy pesticide use. In contrast, forests thrive because of their interconnectedness, offering lessons in resilience and cooperation.
Recent studies suggest trees even respond to sound. Researchers found that seedlings exposed to a frequency of 220 Hz moved their roots toward the source. This indicates they were “listening.” If trees can hear, we are only beginning to uncover the depth of their awareness. The next time you walk through a forest and hear a soft crackling, it is not just the wind. It is the whispering language of trees. Stop and listen.
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GET OVER IT?
I am part of the last generation of survivors of a dark chapter in Canadian history—the Indian residential schools. But I am more than a survivor; I am resilient, and brave.
In the summer of 2022, Pope Francis visited Canada. He came to apologize for the Roman Catholic Church’s role in residential schools. His visit stirred deep emotions and reopened old wounds. It made me think about the stories we tell—so often centered on trauma, pain, and loss. But what about our strength? Our resilience? The courage that carried us onward despite everything. Some people say we should just move on. But how do we do that? How do we do that when our perspective was shaped by the oppressive experience of residential school. It was not our fault.
I spent seven years at Holy Angels Residential School, in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta.
I want my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren to know that I was strong. As a child, I was curious and loved to learn. I read any book I could find. In my early years, it was Christianity and stories of martyrs. As a teenager, I was drawn to mysticism and witchcraft. As an adult, I devoured biographies, nonfiction, and fiction alike. My love of learning never faded.
Oppression is not just something that happens to us. It stays within us and shapes the way we see ourselves. It influences the world around us. It is a weight we carry, sometimes without even realizing it, passed down through generations like an unseen chain. The trauma of residential schools did not end when the doors were shut for the last time. It lingered in the silence of families who didn’t know how to talk about their pain. It lived in the shame imposed on us. This made us question our worth. It made us doubt our identity and our place in this world.
You grow up in a system designed to strip away your culture, your language, and your sense of self. That loss doesn’t disappear overnight. It becomes part of you, woven into your thoughts and behaviors. You second-guess yourself. You feel like you’re not good enough. You hesitate to take up space, to speak up, to believe in your own strength.
That is the insidious nature of oppression. It teaches you to police yourself. You shrink and silence your own voice before anyone else has the chance to do it for you. Even when the physical oppression is gone, the mental and emotional scars stay.
For many survivors, the pain manifested in cycles of addiction, self-doubt, and feelings of unworthiness. My own brothers carried their trauma in different ways. They used humor. They became isolated. They held a relentless belief that they were not enough. I did not turn to alcohol. Yet, I still carried the weight of those unspoken wounds. I felt them in the way I moved through the world.
Many survivors turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with their pain. I never did. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I decided not to drink, but I know this: I am stubborn. Peer pressure never swayed me. I saw firsthand the impact of drinking in my childhood, and I knew it had no place in my life.
Residential schools were the perfect storm for trauma. Vulnerable children were taken from their families. They were controlled by a system designed to erase our culture.
Yet, I do not believe I was broken. Maybe it was because, as the youngest girl in my family, with ten brothers I had a diplomatic nature. I didn’t push boundaries.
My brothers, though, suffered deeply. Rossi masked his pain with jokes and alcohol. Patrick had success as an auditor for Golf Canada. Despite this achievement, he always felt like he wasn’t good enough next to non-Indigenous people. Maxi never married, believing he was unworthy of love.
Still, even in the hardest times, resilience shone through.
I remember the first time I stood up to a nun. She slapped me hard, the sound echoing in the room. But I didn’t cry. I just stared at her. She told me I couldn’t watch the movie that night as punishment. But I knew I would. And I did. When the movie started, I silently crept down from the fourth-floor dormitory, sat on the last step, and watched. When the students clapped at the end, I ran back to bed, victorious.
As humans, we often focus on the negatives. It’s part of our survival instinct. Our brains are wired to detect threats. They remember pain so we can avoid it in the future. But in today’s world, that instinct works against us. Instead of helping us survive, it keeps us trapped in our suffering. We replay the worst moments of our lives, reliving the pain over and over. We tell stories of what hurt us, what broke us, what made us feel small.
But what if we changed that?
If you are a former residential school student, I invite you to seek out the moments of your resilience. Please share these moments. These are the stories we must tell—stories of triumph, strength, and courage.
Yes, there was pain, but there was also joy. Sunday night movies, bingo games, weekend trips to the lake, running freely on the hills.
We choose the stories we tell. Will they be stories of suffering, or stories of strength? That choice is ours.
And it’s not just about residential school. Think of any childhood challenge—where did you find resilience? Tell that story. Make it a habit to find strength in yourself. Too often, we focus on what upset us. We must train ourselves to recognize our power instead.
Speak up when you feel you are disrespected—kindly, but firmly. Own your story.
In my podcast, Empathic Witness, I seek out stories of resilience, bravery, and tenacity. We must never forget the horrors, but we must also frame our stories in ways that set us free.
That was like the moment when the nun slapped me. I tell it not as a story of pain. I share it as a moment where I reclaimed my power. I did not let her punishment define me.
When I share that story, I feel brave.
And I hope that by sharing it, you will see your own bravery too. Remember if you can still speak your Indigenous language you’re braver than you think.
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The Power of Generosity: A Buddha’s Teachings on Life
For three years, I had the privilege of teaching meditation at a Buddhist temple in Dunrobin. When our group prepared for a journey to Thailand, I knew I couldn’t join them. I chose not to dwell on disappointment. I embraced the principle of non-attachment. I simply asked the Abbot to bring me back a Buddha statue. I did this without expectation and without clinging.
Upon his return, he called my husband and asked him to pick up a gift for me. I had envisioned something small, perhaps a simple token of remembrance. But when I saw it—a large, radiant brass Buddha—I was overcome with gratitude. It reminded me of a profound truth. When we let go of grasping, life unfolds in ways greater than we could ever expect.
Now, this Buddha sits in my home, not just as an object of beauty but as a teacher. It reminds me to be attentive. I recognize that all things arise and pass away. True peace comes from surrendering attachment to outcomes. It also reaffirms the power of generosity. Giving with a pure heart creates ripples far beyond the giver or receiver.
This experience is one I return to often in my practice. It serves as a quiet lesson in impermanence and gratitude. It also reflects the boundless nature of the Dharma. At the time I also would take one of the monks to pay his bills. One day, I was running late to pick up my son. I ran into a mother in the hall. I said I was in a rush and had to take the monk back to the temple. She said let me see and before I could reply she followed me to the car. When I opened the back door, she was surprised to see a monk there. She apologized and said she thought I meant a Buddha. We still laugh about this.
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Stroke and Recovery in 2019
This blog is my personal observations. They come from my time as a patient at Elizabeth Bruyère Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation Hospital, Clinic. I also received care from Ambulatory Stroke Services. I experienced excellent care after suffering a stroke. I later became an outpatient under the care of Dr. Hillel Finestone. I also give some recommendations. These address the issue of shortfall in meeting the needs of Indigenous patients whose first language is not English.
On February 21, 2019 I completed a 9 week Goal Management Training Course delivered by, that hospital in Ottawa. It was an intensive course Designed to improve memory and cognitive thinking.
I acknowledge Dr. Finestone for his referral to Dr. Valérie Mertens and recommending me to take this course. My participation in this course has sharpened my memory and enhanced my response to problem-solving. I am grateful for the opportunity this afforded me.
I recall my first session. It involved an intensive four-hour psychological assessment. The assessment exhausted me both emotionally and mentally when completed. Following that we scheduled 90-minute sessions over a four-month period. The first session identified specific areas which needed improvement and created a baseline of my abilities. The program was designed to strengthen my working memory. It directed me towards improving my coping skills. The program did this by teaching techniques in planning, problem solving, processing, and execution of tasks.
Like anything, you can have the best designed program. Yet, if you don’t put in individual effort, you will not achieve success. The program is designed for this success. My intention when I agreed to take the course was to be in it 100%. I worked diligently on the assignments and was engaged completely in all of the 90-minute sessions. Likewise, it was clear to me that Dr. Mertens also gave her all to the sessions. I was impressed with her approach to our sessions. She showed up enthusiastically which I observed in her demeanor she was a joy to work with. I jokingly referred to our sessions as “playtime.” We had so much fun. We never lost sight of the fact that it had an important function. We had to achieve particular goals in each session.
At the conclusion of the course I thought that the occasion should be marked with a certificate of sorts. It is my training as a former teacher. But her efforts needed to be acknowledged in appreciation for her dedication to my healing. Therefore, I gave her a certificate to mark the occasion. I also gave her a book I thought she would enjoy as a neuroscientist, called The Circadian Code.
Overall my experience with Elizabeth Bruyère Hospital Physical medicine and rehabilitation Clinic and Ambulatory Stroke Services was excellent. Admittedly, there were some issues I identified in earlier blogs here, here, and here regarding cultural insensitivity. This was particularly relevant in my situation as a former residential school student. Some of the institutional processes triggered my memories of disempowerment. I believe that this experience hampered my recovery to some degree.
I am grateful for this experience. I couldn’t imagine what the cost of this care would have been without our Canadian universal healthcare system. And, I highly recommend it be offered to other stroke patients.
The delivery of healthcare to Indigenous patients continues to preoccupy me. It matters a great deal to me, especially as an Indigenous patient myself. If healthcare professionals undertake a better understanding of Indigenous culture, it means substantially quicker recovery. It also leads to better reintegration back into a patient’s former life. The solution is to improve communication. Additionally, the health care system needs to better understand the experiences that Indigenous patients have encountered.
I have some initial ideas for addressing the communication gap between doctors, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, and nurses. One idea is to design a protocol for the professionals. This protocol will help them in their day-to-day interactions with Indigenous patients. It is like a process in the criminal justice system. This process ensures that Indigenous people are understood and understand. Special rules for sentencing of Indigenous offenders are set out in the Criminal Code. The Supreme Court of Canada expanded upon them in R. v. Gladue, [1999] 1 SCR 688.
Once such a framework has been embraced, the next step would logically be to offer a workshop. This workshop should be 2 hours long and focus on cultural sensitivity. it is the first time professionals are exposed to the unique history of indigenous peoples.
As I see it, the main obstacle is not the lack of sensitivity or interest towards an Indigenous patient. The professionals I interacted with conveyed a keen interest. They showed a willingness to be sympathetic. But, the problem is the technical difficulty in communication. This challenge exists between the health professionals and the Indigenous patients who do not speak English. For many patients coming from isolated Indigenous communities in the North, English is not their first language. Certainly, those patients would be reluctant to speak up about something. They would hesitate if it didn’t make sense to them.
Having experienced rehabilitation, it is clear to me that interactions with foreign language speakers are emotionally exhausting. For a stroke patient, this impact is even more severe. Some cultural references would be alien to an Indigenous speaker. The results of those types of interactions will leave the patient feeling inadequate, inferior, and constantly anxious.
The reason Indigenous languages are important is largely due to the impact of residential school systems. As I explained in a previous blog post, these systems forced more than 150,000 children across Canada from their homes. They were sent into residential schools. The children were indoctrinated into mainstream society. Many were brutally punished if they attempted to use their Indigenous language. The explicit goal of the residential school system was to interrupt the transmission of language from generation to generation. This aimed to effectively extinguish Indigenous languages. Alongside languages, their beliefs and cultural worldview were also targeted.
Some hospitals in Alberta (where I am from) have a high demographic of Indigenous patients. These hospitals have incorporated Indigenous translators on staff. They are available either for the initial intake or as part of ongoing care. This is required to explain technical medical procedures in the Indigenous language of the patient. It also ensures that informed consent is obtained for these procedures.
I believe the success of these programs are evident in the recovery of patients returning to their Indigenous community. They recognize their specific medical issue. They also better understand their responsibility for their own care when they leave the hospital. In particular for stroke victims, it is crucial to ensure that the patient continues to succeed in recovery. This success must be maintained after they leave the hospital. To that end, communication is vital, at the onset, during rehabilitation and after they are discharged.
This is an important issue not only because of the resources for patient’s recovery. More importantly, it is crucial in light of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s Report. The report recommends that Canada do more to recognize the disparity of service levels to the Indigenous population. Many Indigenous people have an understandable mistrust of government. This extends to any person in authority. They are skeptical of any change. Therefore, a program should be developed including Indigenous input.
I am confident that a program could be developed. The excellent professionals on the stroke floor of Elizabeth Bruyère Hospital execute it successfully. This is possible if there is a willingness for it.
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LIFE’S MOMENTS
Mid-February Musings
Lately, I’ve been reflecting more deeply on life’s fleeting nature. I grapple with the idea of a purposeful life—what does it truly mean? I believe we must be intentional in how we live, yet purpose manifests differently for each of us. This contemplation led me to reevaluate what is truly important in my life.
Winter, with its slower pace and deep introspection, offers a contrast to the early stirrings of spring’s renewal. In this season of transition, we find ourselves in a time of profound uncertainty. This uncertainty is political and economic. We are witnesses to the unfolding realities just beyond our borders, particularly in the United States.
I recently examined social media trends, as I often do. This examination included both my own posts and those of the people I follow. Some share meaningful insights or knowledge, while others seem adrift, without clear purpose. I understand the universal desire to be successful, attractive, and in control of our lives. But is that sense of control real, or is it merely an illusion?
Could there be a deeper purpose in how we choose to share information?
When I critically analyze my own posts, I notice a pattern. There are images of matcha tea, flowers, my garden, the Ottawa River, and family moments. Only two selfies. Not because I lack confidence, but because I find no real purpose in sharing a photo of myself. What would my followers learn about me from that? A selfie reveals little about my integrity, character, or dreams.
Yet, the other images tell a story. My tea and flowers suggest an appreciation for life’s simple pleasures. My family photos reflect my deep love and commitment to them. The pictures of the Ottawa River convey something even more profound—a sense of gratitude. Through each season, the river offers a different energy. In winter, it has a frozen stillness. In spring, it shows restless momentum. Summer evenings bring a tranquil awe. These images are my way of sharing not just what I see, but what I feel.
I have often contemplated the nature of social media. My concern is that much of it feels superficial—driven by validation, where the most attention-grabbing posts garner the most likes. But that is not why I am here. I seek connection—genuine, meaningful, and rooted in something deeper than fleeting approval.
Buddhist philosophy teaches that we have little control over what unfolds beyond our hands. The past is gone, the future is yet to come. All we truly have is this present moment—because it is here, and only here, that life is happening. Sometimes the message of the Buddha is only revealed when the conditions are right. Therefore, be present and mindful in your actions.
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The Impact of Stroke on Family: A Personal Reflection
In 2018 I suffered a stroke. Illness doesn’t just affect the person diagnosed; it ripples through the whole household. Each family member is integral to the healing process. I spent a few weeks in a rehabilitation hospital after suffering a stroke after an operation. I was fortunate my son came home to help.
This experience has been a deeply personal journey, and writing about it feels unusual for someone as private as me. Nonetheless, it has been a few years I believe sharing my story helps other people.
The stroke left me with temporary left-side inattentiveness, or neglect, which means my brain conveniently ignores things on my left side. My left eye still sees, but my brain needed a nudge to notice. It’s an odd, fascinating challenge—and one that’s forced me to be creative. Thankfully with time and games on my ipad this issue has been resolved.
To complicate matters, shortly after arriving at the hospital, I noticed an issue with my right eye as well. Thankfully, Dr. Finestone AKA (Finest one) took my concerns seriously. He acted swiftly, booking me an appointment with a specialist at the Eye Institute within an hour! I promptly felt confident in his care. His curiosity and efficiency reassured me that I was in capable hands.
As I began processing everything, I realized this journey would need patience, resilience, and adaptation. Fortunately, patience and determination are traits I’ve leaned on throughout my life. While dealing with a stroke is uncharted territory for me. I’ve faced challenges before and found ways to adapt—this was no different.
Adapting hasn’t been easy, but I’ve embraced the opportunity to learn about neuroplasticity—how the brain can form new pathways. Books by Dr. Oliver Sacks and others like Dr. Wahls have shown me that, with commitment, diet and the right strategies, improvement is possible.
I believe that how you respond to a situation makes all the difference. Attitude matters: It won’t change the facts, but it can change how you experience them.
The care and compassion I experienced in the rehabilitation hospital also played a huge role in my recovery. One doctor made me feel like more than just “the stroke in room 420.” Every morning, he’d stop by to chat, and those moments made me feel seen and valued. Nurses and therapists brought smiles and humor to their interactions, transforming the hospital into a truly healing space.
I’ve also leaned on Buddhist philosophy and meditation, which have kept me grounded. I remind myself to live in the current moment—the past is gone, and the future hasn’t arrived yet. Sure, there are frustrating moments, but I’m determined to approach this new chapter on my own terms.
These days, I have to work harder to be aware of my left side. It’s a challenge, but it’s also teaching me to be more present in everything I do. That’s not such a bad thing! Despite the difficulties, I can walk, talk, read (even if it’s slower), and enjoy the activities I’ve always loved.
Most importantly, I’m still me. This stroke doesn’t define me—it’s just one part of my story. With the support of my husband, son, and friends, I kept moving forward.
Life is unpredictable, but it’s within our power to choose how we face it. I choose to move forward with resilience, gratitude, and a determination to live fully. Even if it means hitting life’s curveballs a little differently. Another book I recommend is Man’s Search For Meaning- Viktor Frankl
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Remembering Annie Mercredi: A Sister’s Legacy
ANNIE 1946- Christmas 2024
Remembering Annie: A Christmas Day Goodbye and the Power of Forgiveness
1946–2024
Annie was the sister who always wrapped me in the warmest, tightest hug when we greeted each other. “I love you, my baby sister,” she’d whisper as she held me close, her embrace full of comfort and reassurance. When I think of Annie, I think of someone small in stature. Her heart was so big it could move mountains. She was the kind of person whose love for others was boundless, always putting their needs before her own.
Annie’s passion was teaching. She spent many years in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. There, she shared her love for the Denesuline language with her students. The community loved her deeply. She was cherished not just as a teacher. She genuinely cared about everyone she met. Her kindness was a quiet but powerful force.
In 2017, Annie’s world began to shift with the diagnosis of early-onset dementia. I remember telling her, “Don’t worry if you forget things. I’ll always have enough memory for the both of us.” We laughed. As time went on, that promise became a way to hold on to her. It gave her something to lean on. She spent her final years in a long-term care facility, and this Christmas Day, at 5:05 a.m., she passed away peacefully at the Northern Lights Hospital in Fort McMurray.
In the quiet spaces of my grief, I’m flooded with memories of her—especially from my childhood. One of my favorite memories is a summer I spent at their fish camp. The scent of spruce trees brings those moments rushing back. I can still feel the soft, fragrant boughs we’d lay down on the floor of our tent. We laughed together as Annie teased about getting a “new carpet” each week. The warmth of the clear, shallow water on that long sandy beach feels so close. The stories we told around the campfire feel so close. The simple beauty of those days feels so close. It is as if I could reach out and touch it.
A significant truth stands out as I reflect on Annie’s life now. It feels even clearer in the wake of loss: Life is fleeting. We never know how much time we have left with the people we love. In just a short span, I’ve said goodbye to too many dear family members. I lost my nephew just weeks ago. My brother passed last December on my birthday. Now, my sister is gone, just this Christmas. Each loss serves as a reminder that time is precious, and it doesn’t wait for us to be ready.
If you’re lucky enough to have someone who loves you, take a moment to really let them know. Let them feel your love. Don’t wait. Life is too short to hold on to anger or regret. From losing those I hold dear, I’ve learned something important. Forgiveness is not just a gift for others. It’s a gift we give ourselves. Life is too short to carry those burdens.
Grief, I’ve found, is a complicated thing. When someone close to us passes, the pain is raw and real. And with that pain comes many emotions—some gentle, others sharp. Family dynamics often shift, and old wounds can resurface, leading us to blame others for our hurt. But while it’s okay to feel those emotions, I remind myself—and others—that we all walk through life with different challenges. Some are visible, some aren’t. And everyone is doing the best they can.
So, I ask you to be gentle with yourself and others. Be compassionate, without judgment. Give yourself permission to feel, to heal, and to forgive. The space we make for forgiveness is where healing can begin.
Annie, you will always be in my heart. Your love, your laughter, and your quiet strength will never be forgotten. I will carry you with me, as I always have. I will do my best to live in a way that honors the lessons you taught me. These are lessons of love, kindness, and the importance of cherishing every moment.
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Creating Life
I am posing a blog I wrote ten years ago with edits.
Another year slips seductively into oblivion. You can’t stop the passage of time. It is like trying to grasp water with your hands. It simply slips through your fingers. Each day folds seamlessly into another day, and before you realize it, you find yourself cheering in a New Year!
The remnants of my year are fragments of memories, impressions, and some unfulfilled hopes and dreams. I am an advocate of blogging because it makes reflecting over the year easier. Reading my past blog posts stirs in me various emotions. Some leave me with faded smiles, and echoes of laughter, while others bring to the surface sorrow. On the whole, 2024 was a decent year and I know that I am truly blessed.
My objectives for this year will remains to strive to be better than last year.Be curious about life. And have fun. I will create an incredible year.
An interesting approach to a New Year’s resolution was shared by a blogger I follow. She describes in three words what defines her new year. I like that approach and will steal it here. I’m warning you it is more difficult than it seems. My three words are breakthrough, celebrations, and impermanence.
BREAKTHROUGH – I am currently working on several challenging projects. These projects have huge ramifications. They will make a positive difference to many people. The key to its success will be information, involving others, timing, and follow through.
CELEBRATIONS – Everyday is a celebration and a gift. Unwrapping it carefully and savoring all the moments with gratitude and mindfulness is the only way I want to live.
IMPERMANENCE – Nothing remains the same. Knowing this makes the two proceeding words more fluid. Being flexible and adjusting to the changing environment is a constant. Breath in and breathe out, I am ready for 2015.
Back to resolutions, after all people still do this, even if they don’t admit it. Some people think that setting a New Year resolution is ridiculous. I believe that we all genuinely want to reach the goals we set on New Year’s Eve. If we are honest, this is something we all want. Whatever your goal. to do more traveling. It to lose weight, increase business contracts, or create a healthier and better you. Maybe even more thoughtful goals that involve making a difference in the world. These goals are attainable but they have a better chance of success if we follow a specific PLAN of ACTION.
- The operative word here is ACTION.
- You must have a plan.
- Your plan must have a structure, a roadway, if you will.
- The roadmap must include a timeline.
- Finally, keep your eyes on the goal. No matter what obstacles materialize; tackle them one at a time. Each action will take you closer to your goals. It is important to visit this roadway often over the next twelve months.
Be steadfast in your commitment, take a stand, and don’t give up on yourself.
What will your world look like on December 31, 2025?
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Our Mind is a powerful thing
I am blessed. Today I started another year around the sun. As I look back on what I wrote on my siblings. I feel sadness. I started out with ten brothers and five sisters. Over the years, I have experienced the loss of five brothers and one sister. Many nieces and nephews. a nephew, Sean John just two weeks ago. And my brother Roger one year ago today. It’s difficult not to feel sadness and grief. I am forever grateful to have walked part of my journey with some of my siblings. I’ve learned from them, I laughed, and I enjoyed meals with them. Death is a part of life.
All we have is this moment. Be kind and compassionate and forgive every day, start a new day without resentment and anger. Through the years I’ve pondered this question.
Have I been lucky or unlucky in life?
- When I was a toddler, I got very sick. bad luck, they said.
- I went to the hospital off and on through my childhood. good luck they said, I was fed and there was running water. I got to watch TV.
- I was sent to Indian residential school, bad luck they said.
- There I cultivated lifelong friends. I was introduced to the library and fell in love with books. Good luck they said.
- A few years ago, doctors discovered I had myxoma ( 5 centimeters tumor in my heart. bad luck they said.
- I had a right brain stroke during surgery to remove the tumor. Bad luck they said. I learned about neurology And discovered it could have been far worse. Good luck they said. It’s up to me how I interpret my life journey.
We should be consistently curious about our worldview. Things happen sometimes bad things, but nothing is personal. it just happened, and your perspective makes it either a bad thing or a good thing. You are in control.
The truth is that life happens, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. Simply put, life happens, and we attach the reason. Your mind is powerful it can either make you happy or unhappy.
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From the Shores of the Ottawa River 
