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Join Our Diverse Tribe: Fostering Engagement and Authenticity
OUT OF THE BOX ENGAGEMENT
In 2018 I created a group on Facebook named “We Belong”.
You may have wondered what is this group about, and what is the purpose of this group?
Thank you those who have joined me after I invited you, trusting me and accepting my invitation to join this group even when my intention for the group was less than clear.
The idea of this group came to me after listening to Author Radha Agrawal’s podcast about social connections, essentially, we as humans seek authentic social connections with others. We not only seek these connections it is important for our mental and physical health to have healthy relationships. Facebook, we have been led to believe would facilitate this connection. However, we started using it more artificially.
Furthermore, I have found that Facebook does not meet our need for this connection and a feeling of belonging, except when we get a DM. Social media is designed for more superficial entertainment use and to collect personal information. Instead of connecting us. It has created more isolation and dissatisfaction in our lives.
And more generally other social platforms have not found a way to engage each other instead we are having parallel conversations. Like ships passing each other in the night. I had a look at my friends and realized I have some awesome friends I have a tribe, I have a community and decided to bring them altogether in one place where we can design a community that works for us. My rational for creating a virtual community is due to my frustration of social media.
I am the administer of several groups. I use social platforms like twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. None of these platforms satisfy my need to connect. I find them superficial. Each of them ends up being pretty much the same as my personal Facebook page, in that people are not engaging with me on a deep authentic level. Perhaps they like a certain post but often will not contribute any more than a thumbs up. People post pictures, recap travel where they’ve gone, where they ate, and that is all good, but I’m looking for something more I am looking for serious conversations that are inspiring and thought provoking. Something more you.
For example, at dinner with a couple of friends our dinner conversation was electrifying and engaging. We discussed youth incarceration, restorative justice, the judicial system, and whether it was helpful in reforming criminals? The overcrowded penitentiaries and the impact of those on reforming criminals. We discussed healing lodge as a mechanism for reforming criminals who committed serious offenses. We discussed the cycle of alcohol on generations, how the youth are impacted by this trend. We discussed how youth are place in same prisons as harden adult criminals. Because once you were over the age of 18 you are treated as an adult and therefore will be placed with other adults. one of the examples discussed was how a stupid action while under the influence can change the trajectory of one’s life. We discussed how incarceration does very little to reform a person or even deter repeat offenders. The subject is serious and impacts our society. Of course, our conversation really didn’t resolve the questions, however you never know where such conversation will lead in the future as it percolates in the mind. Perhaps deep conversations like these can only happen face to face, but if we give this group a chance, I believe it can happen here as well.
The invitation Letter I sent to a few friends 6 years ago to join We Belong.
When I first started this group that each of you was carefully considered before I added you. I was looking for a compassionate person, an intellectual, a person with varied interest, a well-read person.I was looking for people who will make this group engaging, who would be authentic and have the highest integrity in their word and ensure that whatever they post will be inclusive and respectful. I believe each of you have some of these qualities. If I am correct in my assumption that you too are dissatisfied with your experience on social media, then I made the right choice to add you to this founding group.
What I would need from you is your word that you would be an active participant in the group. That you would be respectful, and kind in your responses. My promise to you is that I will facilitate and moderate the conversations and ensure that participants remain authentic, respectful, and helpful. I will ensure to keep this a safe place for sharing of ideas. Like the conversation over dinner last evening, we were able to discuss some very serious topic without it degrading to personal attacks but instead added value to the overall conversation.
Is this something you are interested and being part of? if yes, I am pleased to provide this forum for you. If not, – if this is too serious of a group, too intellectual, you can leave the group and I will not be offended. This is not for everyone. Because sometimes all we really want is to be entertained and there is nothing wrong with that.
I promised you is that I will facilitate, monitor conversations to ensure participants remain authentic and keep this a safe place for everyone. I have fulfilled my promise to the group, this is a safe place.
We can reset this group to realize my aspiration to feel connected. The key to it succeeding will be directly correlated to your participation! Which is why I carefully picked the first group of people keeping in mind how each of you will respond and to set the tone for the group. I value each one of you in the group and your opinion matters. I want to learn from you.
TOPICS can be introduced by anyone, provide a short synopsis with the question. Subject areas can be identified like health, books, neurology, philosophy, spiritual, psychology, relationships, food, medicine, culture, politics, religion you can introduce any subject if it is respectful and not offensive to anyone.
Racism and inciting hate will not be tolerated, and you will be requested to leave the group. I will make every effort to not control the dialogue, only facilitate and moderate.
I, honestly, I didn’t think of specific details of how this will work. I do know that I want to continue my daily meditation insights which I post on Instagram, twitter and sometimes my personal Facebook page. I have received feedback from many of you who have indicated you enjoy reading them. I see the insights as setting a tone for the group daily.
Having said the above, if you have any ideas of how this could work, how you want it to work, I welcome your remarks and we can design this with your input.
My intention is to create a community of like-minded people who are interested in having a real connection with each other. The goal is to meet our need for real social connections. We can work out the details as we go along. Now there are no hard and fast rules. The experiment was to see if we can override our automatic reactions and default reactions in response to what others post. Like distrusting others or being too shy to comment. Essentially, it is to create a new paradigm, a shift in how we relate on social media. This is a social experiment and I have no idea if it will work, or if this is the right platform, I am interested to see where it will go. If I find it is not working, I will let you know before I delete the group.
In my tribe we have CEO’s, lawyers, doctors. Artist, Indigenous elders, professors of law, and social work. Indigenous leaders, authors, people who participate at the UN on human rights. Students, Environmentalists, people who are concerned about the impact of our actions on the environment. And, in a word, game changers, innovators, thought provoker’s, some of you I known personally, and we connect on many levels, we have shared a meal, tea, and pleasant conversations. I like the idea of having you all meet each other for this experiment, and we will see where this leads us. Welcome to my tribe!
The first questions I posted to the group is if you oversaw the world what type of community you would create, keep in mind that this is a virtual community and now we have members from all over the globe. In this group, I hope that members would feel comfortable meeting each other in the real world. What would your values and goals be? Who would you invite? No one replied. It has been 6 years since I created this group, is it useful to you, or should I delete it?
Over the last six years I have posted on
- The weather
- loss and grief
- dementia and support
- Climate change
- I posted a link to my podcast to listen to conversations with ordinary inspiring people
- Happiness
- Sleep hygiene
- My Health
- Visitors
- Friends and family visiting
- Life on the river
Ottawa River -
THE FAMILY I CHOOSE
family picnic in an Edmonton park. The saying goes that we don’t pick our family, but we do pick our friends. I question that!
Sisters
L to RIGHT Dora, Rose, Liz, me, Mary, Annie 2016 Cahiron
Said another way, I believe that our soul, our true essence, picks the family we are meant to be born into and we decide how living within our family can help us to show up powerfully in life. You can be either a victim or a warrior. Further, I also believe I picked the best time to be born. I feel fortunate to be part of a family who shaped my character.
As Indigenous people, we are an extension of the natural world. There is a saying that we on some level pick the family we are born into from the spiritual realm before we are born. And I reflect on what being a Deranger teaches me. I am guided and inspired by my family and the lessons I am taught helps me move through life with grace.
As an Indigenous person, I believe that our genetic code and both the impacts of trauma and our challenges are transferred to us over seven generations. And in each generation we overcome weakness and learn lessons in this life. Which begs the question, why did I pick this family?
That said the study of astrology does point to something called cahiron, which are the lessons we are meant to learn in this life. Have you ever heard about an old soul; some people who appear to have lived many lives? The Buddhists believe we are reborn until we learn the answer to our suffering. It is our karma until the lesson is learnt.
Reasons
Taking this perspective as I do, gives me strength in how I respond to my life .
I chose the Deranger family. Instead of thinking it was random that I was born into this extraordinary family. Because it puts me in powerful position in that nothing in my life is done to me.
When I start from the position I choose everything in my life, even my family, means I don’t have room to blame anyone for how life treats me. I must learn from my experiences.
Background
Coming from a large Indigenous family, we were not wealthy in material things. However, we have something far greater, we have the guidance and protection of our ancestors. We have family who are caring, and lighthearted. My family taught me to be confident in my own skin.
Isidore Deranger my dad 1909-1992 Context
Deranger Family
My chosen family (of 16 children) in a Dene Indigenous family lived in Northern Saskatchewan before I was born. They lived in Uranium City (where I was born), then moved to Fort Chipewyan, and Fort Mcmurray in Alberta. In Fort Chipewyan we lived In a small hamlet without electricity or plumbing, with a mixed population of Dene, Cree, Métis, and people of European origin.
Let this sink in. I was raised with ten brothers, five sisters and our two parents in a one-room log cabin before we moved into a bigger house.
By and large it was a Roman Catholic household, but thankfully, my father Isidore was deeply rooted in our Denesuline culture of natural laws of nature. We are connected to our ancestral lands. My late brother Pat’s ashes were buried on our land, Denekizi. And the ashes of my late brother Roger, who passed on December 7, 2024 (incidentally my birthday) will be spread there this summer.
The final resting place of elder brother Pat Deranger (1951 – 2019). RIP The distinction between our worldview and that of the colonizers is the notion of good and evil, because within an Indigenous worldview there is no such thing as good or evil, heaven or hell, sin, or sinners. These do not exist in our reality. This is a Roman Catholic church construct designed to control their congregation.
Little me in front of our log cabin in Uranium City After all, we don’t ascribe sins to flowers, birds and other wildlife. The RC believes that a newborn is already a sinner, We exist like nature. in nature, and we are interconnected, and interdependent on one another. That is the Indigenous wouldview.
Recently my older brother Jimmy said, our culture is tied to the caribou, and our language. We were nomadic peoples. It is vital that we speak our Dene language, think first in Dene, he says. We Dene continue to utilize our traditional lands in all direction. And we always give offerings to the land and water.
When my ancestors hunted, fished or trapped they thanked the wildlife for giving their life for our food and we shared our food with our community. Our connection to the land is sacred.
The language we spoke at home is Chipewyan (Denesuline), a Dene dialect. My father was a hunter and trapper, and my mother made beautiful beaded Dene jackets, gloves, and moccasins for the family.
The last jacket my mom made for my son, Andrew There are no words to describe how I feel about this family, other than it is a blessing to be on this journey with my siblings and as one of the youngest, and the youngest female. I have always felt cherished and protected by my family.
I am truly blessed. There are a wealth of lessons to be learned growing up in a large Indigenous family of acceptance, compromise, and diplomacy, which led to me being tenacious with an unwavering spirit.
Our mother was a complex person. She was both firm but could be flexible. She was incredibly demanding and determined. But she was also generous, caring, and funny. Even though we had a full house she made room for other children who needed a safe place.
My mom, older brother Rossi (1957-2016) and me In turn, I stood for being the best daughter I could be for her, as I matured. I loved her unconditionally. Each time I thought of her, my heart would fill with pure joy and love for her. Even now 8 years after her passing I feel the love I have for her. I can honestly say that we’ve had an extraordinary relationship. I saw everything she did through the lense of my love for her and her love for all of us.
My mom’s likeness done by artist Margaret Ferraro. com 
My mom Therese Deranger (1919-2016) The lessons I learned from my Deranger family are
- Speak up when an injustice occurs — which is why my career was in Indigenous land claims.
- Love unconditionally
- Don’t be afraid to take risks
- Accept the knowledge link to our ancestors is strong and they are always close beside us helping and protecting us
- Remember the words of the elders
- Respect all living beings
- Show up in life, listen and be present
6 generations matriarch 
My oldest brother Peter (left) and my late brother Roger (right) (Denekizi) 
Our traditional land – home of Dene Kizi Academy Land based teachings 
Dene Kizi Academy 2022 
Future traditional knowledge keepers 
Mom and sons and other male descendants on her 90th birthday. -
Life peppered with Gratitude is a life worth living
On the Ottawa River on a friend’s boat Being happy means living your best life and not being afraid that others see it.
legends say that hummingbirds float free of time carrying our hopes for love, Joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, and every personal connection has meaning. laughter is life’s sweetest creation.
Being authentic, is not always the easy, Being happy means living my best life and not being afraid to let others see me.
Recently someone asked what I do. I responded I am a writer, a blogger she asked are you an influencer. I said no, I’m not an influencer, however I do have a blog and I am the host of Empathetic Witness Podcast with Angelina. If I inspire others to live their best life it makes me happy.
The moments of my life are not staged for social media. Gratitude highlights the positive in my life, and happiness is being present for those moments.
You, and only you, decide how you will react to situations either of your own doing or someone else’s actions. You decide how you will react . It is simple. Don’t make it complicated. If you want to be happy, you can be because you’re in charge of your feelings. all it takes is a change in perspective.
Some situations will take more effort on your part, like a muscle you need to exercise. Remind yourself when you notice your reaction can either hurt or give you peace and change the story.
For example, A regret I had years ago when I did not support a friend, and I felt she felt betrayed by my actions. I later called her to apologize. She understood why behaved as I did, and she said she was okay. A big-hearted response, and it changed my story of the event. I realized in that moment that it was my own perspective that was making me feel badly.
Being 100% authentic, may not always be the easiest route to take. I am grateful to have family who are not afraid to have a good belly laugh and live life not taking themselves too seriously.
My cousin 
My sisters! 
My sisters enjoying a joke! -
Navigating Life
Ottawa River I’m sharing something very personal, a challenging situation I have had most of my life, because I hope that both my struggles and my insights may be of use to you in your life, in some way. In fact, This by far, is the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever shared on a social media platform in the hopes that something about my journey will support you on yours.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a blog writer, podcaster, and the founder of a charitable foundation, seventhgift.ca I’ve held executive positions most of my career.
I had poliomyelitis (polio) as a child, shortly after I started walking. I know that a lot of folks might not know much about polio because it’s been nearly eradicated over the last 65 years. But as a child when I got hit with it, polio was one of the most feared diseases on the planet. You might even question, how I got polio when the polio vaccine was available before I was even born. I am Indigenous; and my parents lived in an Indigenous community. Need I say more?
In those years, polio was killing thousands of children worldwide every summer and paralyzing tens of thousands more. The numbers were in the millions.
We can celebrate that rates of polio have dropped phenomenally around the world since then. In recent years, there have been only a few hundred cases per year of polio in the entire world, mostly in 3rd world countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan.
I have no memory of the incident except what I’ve been told. One day I was paralyzed, and I couldn’t walk. And after a while, the feeling and movement began slowly to return. But the process of regaining use of my legs was slow, and only after many surgeries I was able to walk again.
In the 60’s and 70’s polio was treated by orthopedic doctors because there was little experience understanding that it affected the motor neurons in the spine. I was fitted with long braces on both legs, but eventually only need a short brace on my left leg.
When I entered adulthood, the prognosis was that I would never walk normally, or run due to weakness and discrepancy in my left leg.
After a partial stroke in 2018 I decided to update my brace. it had been over 20 years since I had a new one.
My stroke doctor, who I respect, referred me to an orthopedic specialist, who refused to give me a prescription for the type of brace I had as a child, one which allowed my ankle to move as I walked. She said that with the weakness in my left leg this brace was not suitable for me. When I allerted my specialist, he said he couldn’t do anything about it. He replied to my email when I brought it to his attention saying:
“This Dr. is my department’s expert in this field and you have been seeing her. I’m not passing the buck, but should not this be going to her?” “
She told me clearly, I will not give you a prescription for the brace you want. What was I to do? I felt defeated. Based on research and decades of experience dealing with my challenges, I was convinced that the current rigid brace she recommended would only create complications for me down the road, as I got older. My research showed that a movable ankle is necessary to lubricate joints in my leg, my knees, and my hips. We are not meant to be in a unmovable brace, it is not natural. In 2023 there must be braces that are supportive and yet allow for some natural movement.
I saw my GP, who fortunately understood what I was asking for and, he provided a prescription for a hybrid brace, a mix of a rigid and movable ankle. The process took me two years and now I have exactly the brace I wanted and needed (see the photo). Indeed, I have captured some independence, I feel as though I’ve got my life back to some degree. I recently saw a professional who confirmed that my hip joints were stiff and not rotating in a natural way. I need to mitigate further damage in my hips, and I believe this brace in part is how to do that.
Developing Post-Polio Syndrome (PPS)
Poliovirus Then and Now
I developed post-polio syndrome, or (PPS) when I was 32, and to that point I had not heard the term despite living so many years with polio. You may never have heard of post-polio syndrome, either, and this is true of most physicians too. A significant percentage of the people who got polio and survived, and particularly those who worked extra hard to achieve things despite having been stricken with the disease, have suffered later in their lives from this condition. To add to the complication of PPS, I suffered a partial stroke during surgery in 2018. I have trouble walking; it is not clear how much is related to stroke or the PPS.
The medical literature says this about PPS. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371137/
It affects between 25–40% of polio survivors. And unlike polio itself, PPS is not contagious. But PPS is serious. Parts of the body that regain movement after being paralyzed by the original polio can again become paralyzed.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-polio-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355669
Nearly all polio survivors who develop PPS do so within 15–40 years after their initial polio. When I first noticed symptoms, I was told it was age related and that everybody loses muscle strength. I was 32.
I’m doing the best I can with it, including getting as much exercise as I possibly can, which is a challenge when your legs don’t work well and you worry about falls. I believe in doing all I can with what I’ve got. And, of course I’m doing everything I can that might help me to retain as much quality of life as possible, which is why I fought to get the brace I knew I needed to give me quality of life.
I’m listening, in every moment that I can, for what I can learn and what I can love on this journey. In fact, when I start to feel depressed or start to feel sorry for myself, I will often think about Viktor Frankl and what he endured, and yet he came out on the other side whole . Or I’ll recall some of the things I love. Not just the things I like — that just wouldn’t be enough to shift my energy. But the things and the people I truly love. Like music, reading, writing, and having a purposeful life.
I’m going to be honest. was not all sunshine and roses, especially having to work hard against conventional “expert” medical thinking to get a brace I knew would make my life better. What I have learnt is no matter the challenges, one must look first to give meaning to it, and then move into action to improve their situation. As an Indigenous person I am carried on the backs of my ancestors.
I am my own avocate -
WE ARE NOT GARBAGE; SOMEONE KNOWS SOMETHING And CHOOSES TO REMAIN SILENT
In this blog are my thoughts on the matter of Missing and Murdered Indigenous women in Canada. (MMIW) Caution: reading this blog may be triggering to some.
My intention for writing this blog Is to motivate and inspire you, the reader to want to make a difference in this matter. You might think, how can I make a difference? I have some suggestions below on how you can help. Don’t disappoint me, please. Comment if this topic makes you think or do you remain indifferent.
First, I am an Indigenous woman from northern Alberta. If I went missing, I am confident my family would be concerned and would look for me. Not because I am educated, and a contributing member of society who pays taxes, but because I am a human being, and I matter!
My point is it shouldn’t matter if I were a drug addict, homeless and or earning a six figure income for people to care if get murdered.
My Connection to two victims
I imagine, because of the large number of missing and murdered Indigenous women, there must be several people in Canada who have been touched by either knowing someone who is missing or knowing of someone who is related to someone who is missing or has been murdered.
It is interesting being that I am from a small hamlet of less than 1500 people, and I know TWO Indigenous women who were murdered. A childhood friend first went missing, and then was found murdered in the United States. She was my classmate at Holy Angels Residential school in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. I remember Sandra as a young girl with a beautiful smile. She was smart too. Years later, I had heard she made some questionable choices in her young life. One summer, she made a fatal mistake. She decided to go hitchhiking into the United States and was not heard from again.
Much later, her family received a call from the RCMP with devastating news that was delivered by phone, not even in person. The officer described how her body was dismembered and disposed of in garbage bags. Her DNA sample was the only way she was identified. Her killer is a person who picked her up and gave her a ride and was never convicted of her murder. Sandra was only 24 years old.
Ms. Amber Tuccaro, whose killer’s voice was heard on a chilling cell phone recording linked above is just one piece in a RCMP investigation, was also from my community, and was the daughter of my older brother’s classmate. We owe it as a society to care and to take some sort of collective action. I challenge everyone reading this blog post to do something. Write the PM’s office and demand he does something about the missing and murdered Canadian Indigenous women and girls. At the very least, share this blog on your social media. Do not underestimate the power you have to make a difference.
If we remain silent, our collective inaction speaks volumes about who we are as a society. The message this sends is loud and clear to me and perhaps to the murderers living freely among us, that Canadian Indigenous women and young girls can be raped, killed, and disposed of like garbage. When did our society become so indifferent to the violence against Indigenous women and girls? That is a rhetorical question because since colonization very little value has been placed upon an Indigenous person’s life.
It must STOP. Where is the outrage?? We need answers! They were human beings, members of our society. We should have protected these Indigenous women.
Sadly, we continue to hear stories of the discovery of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in 2023 and it will continue until we change our attitude about Indigenous women .
Are you interested enough to ask the questions?
- Who is doing this to the Canadian Indigenous women and girls?
- How many murderers are walking among us?
- Where are the bodies of these women and girls? If nothing else, we need to put them to rest by finding the bodies and bringing them back to their families for a proper respectful burial.
- How can you help
Consider if someone is murdering women and girls it could be someone you know. Even more of a concern, since this is not an isolated or regional matter, and is happening across Canada. There could be many murderers among us. Many Indigenous women have disappeared on the trail of tears highway in BC.
Recently Canadian serial killer Paul Bernardo has been in the news because he was transferred to a medium security prison. I remember in the 90’s, at least 3 people knew it was Bernardo who was raping and murdering teenage girls. These were Caucasian girls.
It makes me angry that as recent as this week an Indigenous young woman’s body was discovered in a landfill, discarded, like garbage. It is incomprehensible the outrage is only coming from Indigenous communities. It reinforces the belief that there is little value in an Indigenous woman’s life. Am I wrong?
Amber’s dismembered body was found in a ditch in Alberta the summer of 2012, Over 20 years ago, two years after she went missing. RCMP are appealing to the public to identify the voice in a recorded call from a cell phone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mEeyd1sF6g Her murderer was never found.
A woman’s body was recovered from Winnipeg’s landfill on Monday July 17, 2023, the second in 10 months, with more believed to be buried.
The landfill is currently closed as police continue to investigate after 33-year-old Linda Beardy’s body was discovered at the beginning of the week. It should never be reopened as a landfill. “It should be turned into a memorial site because we know that there is more,” it was reported to CBC Manitoba Information Radio host Marcy Markusa on Thursday. In the context of this society bodies of murdered Indigenous women will be dumped if not this land fill, in other places where it would be as difficult to discover.
The truth is I am at a loss. I realize anger doesn’t help but is it enough to motivate you the reader to do something? What would it take to see a modicum of emotion and compassion about these girls and women from you? Well, to be fair, I do believe you care, how could you not care. However, I am not as sure that the enormity of the situation is really appreciated. Until you have personally experienced a loved one murdered you cannot fully understand the anger, the grief, bargaining and acceptance. Let’s say I was able to reach you and you ask the question what can you do? The first thing you can do is get on social media with the hashtag Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women #MMIW. Share this blog with your network encourage them to get on social media with the hashtag #MMIW.
The question remains, where are they? The conservative numbers of missing and murdered women is over 5,000. If your family member disappeared, what would you do to bring awareness.
What Next?Mr. Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, does it matter how many more must be reported missing or found pulled from dump sites, having been murdered? The Prime Minister has many priorities, but this must be one of them. The conversation around the discovery in a Manitoba landfill is disgusting, it is about the cost and manpower to continue searching the landfill, so they gave up leaving the enormous task to the Indigenous people. Sadly, I can’t be convinced it were a Settler, a non-Indigenous woman the conversation would be on cost. Nonindigenous women would be concerned that a murder is out there. They would organize themselves so they would be protected and safe. I am afraid the truth is there is virtually no value placed on an Indigenous woman’s life.
Why are the Prime Minister of Canada (PM), Royal Canadian mounted police (RCMP) desensitized to the plight of the surviving families, the parents, the siblings, and the friends of the Indigenous women who have disappeared or been found murdered?
Remember the Pickton murders in BC? Police were informed there may be a serial killer preying on indigenous women from Vancouver’s lower East Side. These concerns fell on deaf ears. It begs the question can Indigenous bodys be more dishonoured, in a landfill or given to pigs to be eaten so the evidence is destroyed. Both are equally disrespectful. Let’s not forget the Gladue case in Alberta. Thankfully, in that case the murder was charged.
In 2014, the Canadian premiers unanimously supported the request for an inquiry. Finding the body of Ms. Tina Fontaine had renewed the call to Mr. Harper then Prime Minister of Canada to call for an inquiry. Still, he remains steadfast against it.
An incomplete list of women and girls who have vanished or been murdered
RCMP Report Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women
Dr. Sarah Hunt What Should Be Done
Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada
Sign the Liberal’s petition calling for a Federal inquiry into Missing and Murdered women
http://youtu.be/dBPo9FgRBj4 Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women in Canada video by grade 11 students.
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The Ugliness Of Social Media
At times, you need to wait to see clearly. Ottawa River affected by forest fires in Quebec It doesn’t matter to me what you believe about politics, religion, or vaccines, or if you are gay, single, or bisexual. I won’t hate you if we disagree. If we’re friends or family, I will look past our differences and look at what we have in common. At the end of the day I can choose to ignore your comments if you don’t agree with me, and get on with my life. You’re free to do the same. So what if you hurt my feelings?
Indeed I might get upset by something you said, but not enough to go to the extreme of disowning you. It has been done to me and I saw it it as an overreaction and it didn’t require the same reaction from me. I won’t play that game. Honestly I tried to get back the relationship, especially with family, (you know who you are). I am human after all, and I have feelings. But, I have moved on.
That said, if I feel you’re open-minded and mature enough to have a debate, I might debate with you. The truth is that no matter what our differences might be, I won’t take your opinion personally because it has nothing to do with me, even if your comments are directed at me. It is merely your opinion. and you have a right to it.
In the wake of the implosion of the Titanic submarine a few weeks ago, social media was flooded with personal opinions. There have been numerous comments on the tragedy and the fallout on social media was swift. Many people have unfriended each other based on what these comments meant to them. To be sure, there were some ugly comments in the news feeds. Emotions were volatile. By and large people held very strong opposing opinions. Mean things were written, and shared widely, largely to people who didn’t even know each other.
I was disappointed to discover even Indigenous peoples joined in the negative conversation. It was mixed with the notion of colonization and the disdain for the uber rich. Many Indigenous peoples see through the lense of colonization. Even celebrations like July 1, or Thanksgiving can seem negative when seen through this lense.
Personally I can separate colonization from the rich throwing caution to the wind to explore. Let’s not forget people died. However, I am thankful there are people brave enough to explore vast oceans, as long as they don’t upset the ecosystem. They are human too and it was their choice. Exploration creates a bigger world, and new discoveries .
Which begs the question, is social media making us inflexible and stupid? Are we becoming more egocentric, in that we believe our opinion matters and is paramount? I think, yes, we are and yes, we most certainly seem to be.
Social media gives us a false sense of courage, and ironically our anonymity online makes us feel important. The fact is that because we are not face to face, looking into the eyes of a person, that we have the courage to espouse our unfiltered and sometime knee jerk reactions to something we have read online . Often without knowing the context, but this can be an act of cowardliness. Furthermore, often we are not held responsible for the fallout that ensues after certain comments are posted. We can simply disappear from the conversation or troll silently following the discussion thread, feeling self-important, and right.
If I were to worry if someone won’t like what I blog about I might never blog at all. I urge you not to give up, exercise your creative outlet to blog.
I give pause when commenting on something I know little about. This is particularly true if I am commenting on something that has struck an emotional cord. Sometimes, I will read something online and say to myself, “OMG!” “idiot”, “Does that person not fact check”, “WTF!”, etc. then, I write a critical and judgmental comment. But I have trained myself to pause and decide whether to delete my comment because my opinion on social media to virtual strangers in the greater scheme of things, does not matter! I say to myself: is it worth my energy to continue?
I like that humanity is culturally diverse with varying points of view. I can’t imagine what this world would look like if everyone thought like me. Well, I can, and it would be awesome!
Overall, if you want a simpler life and keep your blood pressure down, don’t take everything you read on social media as a personal affront to your character, integrity, morals, or ethics. The more you let go of your ego, the freer you are and the less of a jerk you become. And if you are tempted to lash out in haste, it is very therapeutic to write exactly how you are feeling. But take a deep breath and then delete it or share it with a trusted friend. Maybe it will bring you a different perspective!
The foregoing was my opinion and hopefully it was not an affront to anyone who reads it.
Six generations of Indigenous women who never lost themselves on social media. -
Sunday LIVING INTO THE FUTURE
Ottawa River Sunset Over the summer, a technique I learned about in a course was how to live into your future.
We started with setting a date we want to accomplish something, and then you reverse engineer what you hope to accomplish by that date backwards until you reach today’s date.
For example, my friend Wants an organic orchard on his land not too far for from here. He asked me how can he accomplish this using this method? I gave him these steps to follow.
- Create your team. His team is a horticulturist, seed supplier, and a friend who has an orchard near Niagara Falls. He needs at least six members on his team.
- Meet with the team assign tasks and a system for measuring accountability.
- Map what needs to be done each week until you reached the specific date of completion.
- Visualize walking through the orchard look at the details how does the soil underneath your shoes feel is there a scent on the trees. I always have problems with this type of exercise because I have aphantasia, which means I can’t visualize images in my mind, but I can experience the feeling I want. Our brain does not know what is real or imagined, what feeling does a walk through your orchard give you I asked him?
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Inner Peace is in You
Discover Inner Peace 2022 March 13
It was after reading a friend’s Facebook page post it prompted me to write this blog post. Paul is a mediator and his words helped me focus on this piece. Thank you for your wisdom, Paul.
My garden Inner peace comes from a relationship that is based on acceptance, intimacy, and curiosity. Like a garden we need to weed out what does not serve us, and cultivate beauty, resilience,and strength. Sometimes this requires a change in perspective.
The late Zen Master, Thich Hanh Often wrote that peace should not be possessed, it should be a catalyst to help others suffering to discover peace.
As a long time, meditator, I am comfortable exploring my feelings in meditation. To know yourself more fully, explore with wonder each layer of who you are. My meditation practice became a lifeline after a brain injury a few years ago.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with left side neglect ((ischaemic right brain stroke during surgery, which meant at first , my brain could not recognize objects on my left side. I approached my brain injury with curiosity.
This injury led me to change my diet and empowered me to respond to a new version of who I am. I spent many hours researching the brain, reading, and listening to podcasts on neurology.
My first thought was not why me, but how interesting is it that our brain works like this. I was really intrigued. It was not easy but I persevered, and made peace with what happened by understanding what happened in my brain. One can always reconcile a negative event with a positive perspective. It helps the process to have the right question or statements of inquiry that will lead you to peace.
There is no right or wrong way of discovery. You’ll know it when it happens. I have found the key to peace is acceptance. Paul added the following steps, It is not verbatim. Meditate on these statements; to create a new perspective.
- I create my reality (trust). This perspective becomes available once we are aware of cause and effect.
- I am choosing what is happening (trust). Seeing ourselves as being endlessly creative.
- I welcome what is here (accepting our current experience).
- Appreciating physical sensations (intimacy). Appreciating the physical sensations in our body right now invigorates and increases the intensity of what we are experiencing. Think about eating your favorite food. When we slow down and taste each bite we feel more.
- I am the entirety of what I am experiencing (intimacy). What I am experiencing is creating the sense of me.
- Viewing life as being connect to all. (Cause and effect.,we are all connected) A flower does not exist without rain,sun and wind.
- I don’t know what I’m experiencing (Curiosity). Letting go of all ideas and labels about what it is we are experiencing. Looking at life as if we were a newborn baby seeing things for the first time. (wonder)
- I don’t know what I am. Creates space for possibilities.
- I experience a sense of excitement about what is about to happen next. Discovery of endless possibilities.
Discovering your way to a peace is not easy, we all have our own pain, sorrows, and fears. Give yourself time and space to embrace and recognize how you’re suffering. Be compassionate and gentle when,Starting an inquiry to self. However, remember there’s no right or wrong way to do this.
My meditation space/sauna -
Luezan Tue called Our Name
My family were environmentalists well before the term became popularized.
We are Denesuline people, from Northern Saskatchewan. We are strong, proud. Stewards, of Mother Earth. We take this responsibility seriously.
In the 70’s our dad answered the call of the land, and took his older children, to our traditional hunting lands. They hadn’t been back there for over 40 Decades until last summer of 2021. This is my dad’s legacy.
He answered the calling of the traditional lands, Luezan Tue, and inspired four generations to return to Djeskelni. He passed his baton to the next generation. He reaffirmed our sacred connection to the land. Everyone he took back to the land were transformed and carries the calling deep within their spirit.
In August, 2021, a small group of about of 17 family members went back to our land, organized by my nephew, Donald Deranger, who had gone there with Baba in the 1970s. They went to spread my late brother Patrick’s ashes around the lake to fulfill his last wish.It is clear to me that Patrick’s death facilitated a renewed interest back to our traditional land. The family answered the calling to return to the land. It is difficult to deny how powerful this spiritual calling is.
FAMILY MISSION
- Increase the quality of life for seven generations by building upon our rich Denesuline traditional heritage based on being stewards of the land, lending a helping hand, and create business ventures to generate profits and financial independence. Our family embodies Dene cultural tradition the pillars of which is respect, and to honour the teachings of our ancestors.
My family, like most Indigenous families, is complicated, affected by intergenerational trauma of colonialism, and residential school.
We have sometimes temporarily lost sight of family, our connection to each other and the spirit of our traditional lands. We are easily triggered and often will cut off one another from our life.
That said, I adore my Dene family, dysfunctions and all.
I read somewhere when you change the beginning of your story it changes the end of the story.
After I wrote this blog piece I went back and changed the beginning of our story.
I remain hopeful for the next seven generations. That they will continue to answer the call of our traditional lands. I see renewed interest in some of my nephews and nieces. The calling is strong in them, and I am hopeful.
Family Dene Camp 2021 
Djeskelni Bech’anie Decheny’ah Camp, on the south shore of Luezan Tue within the southwest region of the Etthen Edeli dialect region, about 40 miles south of Tu Cho, 
3 generations, my nephew Donald Deranger, his son, and grandchild. 
Sand dunes on our traditional lands 
Older sisters preparing wild meat from our land for the feast. 
Brother-in-law John Mercredi (not at the camp) when you listen closely to Dene drum you hear the heartbeat of the land. Acknowledgment
My brother, Roger for keeping traditional prophecies of the Denesuline alive.
My nephew Donald Deranger for holding the baton for the next generations, and last, but so important, my late brother Patrick, a sacred pipe holder for passing the baton to his daughter when he gave her the sacred responsibility and honour of spreading his ashes on our traditional land.
Patrick Deranger -
2022 striding into the new year with eyes wide open
My intention in 2022 is not about losing weight although I could stand to lose a few pounds, it is not about exercising more. I could do more of that too.
My intention, my goal for 2022 is to not live small, to show up in life because my actions matter and the people in my life deserve to see the very best version of myself, Which is to show up in service to indigenous peoples struggling with addressing their trauma.
The next Being a Leader course starts in January 2022. If your interested in creating the best life for yourself connect with Tanyss Munro tanyssmunro@gmail.com 2022 I will continue my journey of growth and transformation, particularly as it pertains to my foundation Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training. (G.I.F.T) I’m really excited To be part of a group of extraordinary humans on the foundation. Our vision has capabilities to be a game changer in the delivery of services to indigenous communities across Alberta.
First, I am excited to confirm renowned physician and expert on trauma Dr. Gabor Mate has agreed to support GIFT foundation in the capacity as advisor to our curriculum writers. secondly, we start the new year by inviting additional board members who hold expertise in the areas of psychology, sociology,, law, and curriculum development.
My late dad, Isidore and older brother Fred Deranger -
January 1, 2022!
Living on the river shore is captivating, every day there is something phenomenal happening on the river, the neighbors made a ice rink over the weekend. -
Our Mind is a powerful thing
I am blessed. Today I started another year around the sun. As I look back on what I wrote on my siblings. I feel sadness. I started out with ten brothers and five sisters. Over the years, I have experienced the loss of five brothers and one sister. Many nieces and nephews. a nephew, Sean John just two weeks ago. And my brother Roger one year ago today. It’s difficult not to feel sadness and grief. I am forever grateful to have walked part of my journey with some of my siblings. I’ve learned from them, I laughed, and I enjoyed meals with them. Death is a part of life.
All we have is this moment. Be kind and compassionate and forgive every day, start a new day without resentment and anger. Through the years I’ve pondered this question.
Have I been lucky or unlucky in life?
- When I was a toddler, I got very sick. bad luck, they said.
- I went to the hospital off and on through my childhood. good luck they said, I was fed and there was running water. I got to watch TV.
- I was sent to Indian residential school, bad luck they said.
- There I cultivated lifelong friends. I was introduced to the library and fell in love with books. Good luck they said.
- A few years ago, doctors discovered I had myxoma ( 5 centimeters tumor in my heart. bad luck they said.
- I had a right brain stroke during surgery to remove the tumor. Bad luck they said. I learned about neurology And discovered it could have been far worse. Good luck they said. It’s up to me how I interpret my life journey.
We should be consistently curious about our worldview. Things happen sometimes bad things, but nothing is personal. it just happened, and your perspective makes it either a bad thing or a good thing. You are in control.
The truth is that life happens, and sometimes bad things happen to good people. Simply put, life happens, and we attach the reason. Your mind is powerful it can either make you happy or unhappy.
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Christmas in Doghead Alberta
My childhood Christmas memories in Doghead are magical and precious memories. Like sitting in front of a roaring fireplace on a cold winter night. I felt cozy and safe.
On Christmas eve.
All of us walking to church for midnight mass was always exciting. The the moonlight bright, made the snow sparkle like tiny diamonds. Snow crunching under our boots. as we laughed and chattered in excitement. We had a feast after midnight mass. I treasure these memories in Doghead. I cherish them even more now. Five of my brothers, one sister, and an aunt have gone to the spirit world in the last few years.
After midnight mass we were allowed to open one gift. Christmas day was no less magical. Family and friends dropped in, bringing good cheer.Those memories which we measure our current situation. If it does not measure up To our current situation, leads to sadness and disenchantment during the holidays. When I first got married, Christmas was quiet. I felt nostalgic for loud and chaotic Dog Head Christmas.
Tap into the feeling you had as a child. See the beautiful colors of the season, the lights, and see them with the feeling of enjoy, and magic. Look up, look down, and all around you. we rarely really see what is in our environment. This day, right now, is unique. This day will never happen again.
I am very cognizant of how this season can be a burden. We are under enormous societal pressure to make it perfect., Always better than the year before.
I am grateful to for My sisters , granny, and mama they made Christmas special. I tap into gratitude.
- I have good health.
- A caring loving family
- A safe home free of alcohol drugs.
- friends who year round surprise me with acts of kindness and love. And to those family members with whom I will not be with this Christmas, I am thinking of you with a special gratitude in my heart,
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Transforming Bad Luck into Good Lessons
I am blessed. Today I started another year around the sun. looking back on what I wrote about my siblings, I feel sadness and grief. I had ten brothers and five sisters.
Over the years I have experienced the loss of five brothers and one sister. Many nieces and nephews. a nephew, Sean John just two weeks ago. And my brother Roger one year ago today. It’s difficult not to feel sadness and grief. Still, I am forever grateful to have walked part of my journey with my siblings. I’ve learned from them, we laughed, and we enjoyed meals together.
Death is a part of life. And is a poignant reminder that life is short. All we have is this moment. Be kind and compassionate and forgive every day, start a new day without resentment or anger.
Through the years I’ve pondered this question.
Have I been lucky or unlucky in life?
- When I was a toddler, I got very sick. bad luck, they said.
- I went to the hospital off and on through my childhood. Good luck they said, I was fed cared for, and I got to watch TV. which we didn’t have at home.
- I was sent to Indian residential school, bad luck they said.
- There I cultivated lifelong friends. I was introduced to the library and fell in love with books. Good luck they said.
- A few years ago, doctors discovered I had myxoma ( 5 centimeters tumor in my heart. bad luck they said. I live in a country with universal heathcare. Good luck they said.
- I had a right brain stroke during surgery to remove the tumor. Bad luck they said. I learned about neurology and discovered at least I was alive. Good luck they said . It was always up to me how I interpret my life journey. I choose to see the brighter side. I have been both lucky and unlucky in life.
We should be curious about our worldview. Sometimes bad things happen but nothing is personal. it happened, and your perspective makes it either a lucky thing or bad luck. You are in control.
Our mind is powerful our perspective can either make you happy or unhappy. Happy birthday to me!!!
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The Impact of Family Deaths: Reflections on Loss and Legacy
Shawn John, his son Echohawk, and girlfriend Sprit Lavallee The first time I heard that someone I knew passed away, it was my grandmother, Christine Adam. She died on the operating table. I had a quick and visceral reaction to the news of her passing. I was a 21 year old student with my life ahead of me and my grandmother’s life ended. It was a jarring insight that we never know how much time we have on earth.
Yesterday, November 16, 2024, my nephew Shawn John died in his sleep. Hearing about his death is more difficult because he was young and was doing important work in Vancouver B.C.
I come from a very large family of 16. Christine, my grandmother had eleven children, my uncle had 21 children, including two sets of twins. I have many cousins.
As a result, it’s becomes normal to hear about the deaths of family member.s Since the COVID pandemic, over 10 immediate family have passed away. Shawn John, the most recent death was my nephew. Shawn John was in his 40s. He had three brothers a daughter, and a son.
My head feels like it’s in a clamp grip, pounding. Whatever I am feeling, his mother my sister Rose, is experiencing 100 times more grief. She still has not processed the loss of her youngest son, James. He died a couple of years ago. Her grandson died six months after James. How much more can she take?
Shawn John’s mother Rose Desjarlais’ My first thought after hearing about Shawn’s death, is that I didn’t know him very well.
But I knew that he was authentic, caring, and and an empathic young man.
He volunteered in the downtown eastside, Vancouver, BC. assisting people who had overdosed on fentanyl. He was dedicated. He made a difference. I don’t know how many lives he saved from an overdose, by administering Narcan. I have no doubt he will be missed by many people.
Family deaths are poignant reminders that the line between life and death is one heartbeat away. Never avoid any one’s call, and tell family often you love them.
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Healing Gardens: A Journey to Recovery
In 2018, I experienced a medical crisis. Thankfully, it was resolved with surgery. Unfortunately, I suffered a Right brain parietal stroke during surgery. I designed a healing garden that summer, to help me recover faster. People feel better when surrounded by fresh flowers. I am no different.
As I was researching healing, I discovered an article talking about grounding that peaked my interest. The original designed cement walkway through the garden wasn’t suitable. Instead, I had the landscape architect put down finely chopped mulch. So when I walked, barefoot it felt like carpet under my feet. I also put in a water feature. It was marvelous. Especially in the early morning when the ground was still covered with magical dew.
I see my garden as a reflection on life. Beauty inspired joy, which creates healing.
Next Spring 2025. Hundreds of tulips and daffodils planted in the fall will push through the snow. They will sprinkle splashes of brilliant color throughout the garden.
Simplicity brings me joy. A beautiful flower is perfect. And drinking tea mindfully brings me as much joy as admiring a pretty flower. I look ahead to having my tea in the garden next summer. I will be sitting in this beautiful yellow Muskoka chair. My friend Steve built the chair.
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Transforming Trauma: A Life Coach’s Story
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Extraordinary Indigenous Life Specialist for Personal Growth
My Promise
The Razor’s Edge Method – Excellence is a commitment to completion
I will give you the most efficient service of which I am capable, rendering the fullest possible quantity and the best possible quality of service in the capacity as your Life a Specialist which will lead you to discover your best life.
Sunset on the Ottawa River this million dollar view inspires me daily There are thousands of life coaches in the world. Social media platforms have provided a seamless vehicle for influencers to inundate the niche of Wellness and life coaching.
Why Choose me?
- I bring to the table unique set of skills. I am Indigenous, Dene from northern Alberta, Canada. I was raised with ten brothers and five sisters and many cousins we lived in a small log cabin my father built. My early childhood taught me negotiation skills and how to defuse family conflict where everyone wins.
Me top row 2nd on left. - Furthermore, as an example, in my early 20’s when I completed my B.Ed at University of Alberta a time, I had a trying relationship with my mom. My mother communicated primarily in our Indigenous language, and I answered her in English. I couldn’t relate to her because we appeared to be from different worlds. This is when I enrolled in my first leadership course. And I never stopped studying and learning to improve myself. Then I used my relationship with my mom as an impetus to understanding her and to have a more harmonious relationship with her. That course led to an extraordinary transformation on me and on my relationship with my mom, which was forever changed right until her passing. I am extremely proud of the fact that I was brave enough to look at myself and to challenge my perspective which led me to discover that it was me who had to change and not my mom.
- I spent 7 years in Indian residential school which taught me resilience, and that we create happiness from within.
- I taught Buddhism at a local temple, which taught me compassion and impermanence.
- I was Chair of Nechi Institute for over 10 years, which taught me about addictions and unresolved trauma.
- I have integrated an Indigenous worldview, intuition, and the understanding of natural law and how that impacts our interactions. And as a woman who had challenges growing up, I have mastered resilience and the art of listening.
- I have held executive positions in government and in the private sector.
- I have taken countless leadership courses and have read thousands of books on the human condition that have enriched my life.
- I founded a charitable foundation and host a podcast during the pandemic,
6 generations Dene strong 
“Personal development has no finish line” -Bob Proctor Angelina while in Paris – living her best life 🙂
Addiction, Coaching, Education, Empathetic Witness Podcast, Empathic Witness Podcast, family, Friends, Grateful, gratitude, Happiness, Healing, Holy Angels, Indigenous spirituality, Indigenous worldview, intention, Life, Life Goals, Life Skills, Natural laws, Paris, Perspective, Real Talk, Relationship, Relationship Goals, Residential School, self discovery, Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training, social Media, Uncategorized -
Resilience and Harmony: An Indigenous Denesuline Perspective on Life
My family are Densuline from northern Saskatchewan. The Dene are a proud people who lived off the land hunting and fishing prior to (and even after) European contact. I am one of sixteen children: ten brothers and five sisters.
When I was young, we would have Dene tea dances which involved drumming and storytelling. In addition, just before bed my older sister would tell creation and prophecy stories in our Indigenous language, Denesuline.
Me as a baby in front of our log home, built by my dad I will describe what I know for sure from an Indigenous perspective
6 generations of Dene women - My ancestors are listening to my prayers- I burn smudge (sweetgrass) daily and connect with my ancestors. It is deeply personal and spiritual. I begin with summoning family who have journeyed into the spiritual realm, calling each by name.
- Circumstances in my life, like childhood illness, a tumour growing in my heart, and a stroke during surgery are not personal.
- Nature provides the best example of living in harmony.
- My Indigenous Denesuline family tap into humour in difficult times
- Residential schools and trauma resulting from it do not define who I am.
- I admire my brothers’ will power and connection to our culture.
- Fish, and tea taste the best cooked on open fire.
- The sacred role of storytelling is dying, with the introduction of IPads iPhones and gaming Nintendo, PSP.
- I am the youngest female of 5 sisters and the 14th of 16 children but I felt protected and loved.
- Indigenous spirituality and culture are instrumental in healing.
My older sisters preparing the fish 
I spent 7 years at Holy Angels Residential School Roger across from me, Chris next to me and Rossi across from Chris 
My dad as a young boy 
my sisters enjoying a joke 
Dene drummers -
Rambling-Rose: An Inspiring Activist and Survivor’s Journey
Rose is providing me with invaluable life lessons by example. We don’t get to see each other often but when we do get together, her stories and laughter sustain me for months, the sub text is we love and support one another. No matter our differences we will always encourage and support each other in a loving way. She is a fluent Dene speaker.
Rose when she visited a few years ago My Big sister Rose is beautiful is easygoing, and strong. Her mind and spirit are resilient. She has epic survival instincts, but she dislikes being told what to do, no doubt an old residential school trauma. She lost her husband triadically over 30 years ago. That wound is always fresh in her mind.
Rose, Dwayne Ronnie, Rod, and Dawn She is a retired teacher. she worked for Northland School Division in Northern Alberta.
She is an activist, fighting for the environment, and against injustices against the First Nations peoples. It is a burning passion. Her latest fight is with the encroaching uranium mines on our traditional territory. She and our late brother have camped on our traditional lands yearly . One year she protested against the oil industry. she was the only person protesting.
In 2018 N22 I admire my big sister. Life has not been easy to her, She is still grieving for her youngest son, and grandson who passed 6 months from each two years ago.
James Desjarlais She has a strong inner strength. She kicked breast cancer’s butt and complication from it! She overcame liver disease. Although one never get over a loss of a child and grandchild, she is coping with her losses the best she can.
Rose and her grandson Ohosis
I have nicknamed her Rambling-Rose because she can’t seem to stay in one place and is always on the road. Happily, criss crossing Canada to visit me in Ontario at least 5 times.
Her teachings to me are to stay strong and never give up the fight for the underdog. Don’t worry about what others think when you’re doing the right thing. She has been heard saying, everything will work out, even when it seems impossible, trust in the spirit. Just as important, she has a gift to write, which I keep encouraging her to do. I even created a blog for her, she must get back to it and do some blogging. One day I hope to see her publish a book. When she is down she calls me and we reminisce about the “good old days in Doghead.July 29 is her birthday I won’t see her but hope to talk to her on the phone to wish her another spin around the sun.
Lone protester Ottawa 2016 -
My Friend Oprah
Me as a baby in front of a log house my dad built. Oprah Winfrey embodies all of us who have a dream. She was born into poverty and became the richest African American woman in the 20th century. She is a beacon for those of us who see her as a possibility for a successful life and living our best life. I admire Oprah Winfrey, I can relate to some of her background. She, creates energy around her that inspires others, including me. I was born into poverty like her. I was raised with 10 brothers and 5 sisters.
I am going to interview her on my podcast this year. As I researched her for my podcast I discovered like me, she has a fear of flying over the ocean. My first flight over the ocean was to Poland to study at the University of Warsaw. I was so scared. Yet I overcame that that fear, like she did to get to Hawaii her home and to Africa to her girls school, her passion.
That said, what sets her apart from most of us is her unwavering tenacity, perseverance, and willingness to have challenging conversations. That made her talk show a huge success. It appears that she never gave up on her dreams until her dreams became her reality.
If you recall her talk show she delved into deep questions, interviewing people like Deepak Chopra, and German spiritual leader Eckhart Tolle.
An online series that she hosted led me to me to a good friend in Australia, Carol. The class had over 2 million subscribers.
After 25 years Oprah ended her talk show by delivering an hour-long “love letter.” I, with millions of others watched.
She impacted many people either directly or indirectly. I hate to confess that she had an impact on me, despite my conscious efforts to the contrary. If Oprah endorsed it, I would immediately walk away from it. It was not personal to Oprah the person. I think she is a lovely lady, but it is more of a reaction to the industry that is Oprah.
The truth is I am a type of person who abhors trends, groupies, or fads. The whole “Oprah craze” was way too cultish for my liking, although watching her talk show was my guilty pleasure. People were following her every word, liking her “favorite things,” reading books she recommended in her book club, without a critical mind or second thought. Admittedly, that is not Oprah’s fault. She is a supreme creator, generous, spiritual and kind. I love her.
in 2018 I was gifted from a book from hubby. Horror of horrors, he gave me a book, A New Earth recommended by Oprah! What was he thinking? It sat untouched for weeks, and then one day, I picked it up and started reading, and I must say it changed my life.
Intrigued, I decided to google the author and that led me to Oprah. Oprah was doing her first online web course with the author, Eckhart Tolle. I signed on for the full ten weeks! But that is not the most interesting part.
It was through the comments section that I met Carol who because we had so much in common became fast friends. The crazy thing is, we were more connected than we could have imagined.
Coincidently, she knew my niece who was a SA police Officer and living in Australia at the time. Moreover, she also knew an aboriginal elder I visited on a previous trip to Australia. In fact, believe it or not, she lived right next door to him. If I had visited him, I would have possibly met her! Over two million people were on that message board and the messages where changing quickly. How we ever connected, being from different time zones, in different countries, is beyond chance and incredibly, Oprah facilitated it. I had the good fortune to travel to Australia that fall but my schedule was too hectic for me to meet Carol in person, it would have been heaven to have tea and cookies with her.
My niece, her son and Summer an aboriginal elder
In my head, I am Oprah’s best friend. A fabulous rich woman and an Indigenous podcaster, two strong independent women. I’ve composed long letters in my head to her setting out my reasons for disagreeing with her and hopefully be persuasive enough for her to see it from my point of view, we would go for tea and become friends.
Maggie my niece I had some concerns with Oprah’s school for girls in South Africa. Taking children from their families to give them “a better life” away from for their culture and families, they wore a uniform like a private school. It smacks too much like how the residential schools in Canada that were set up by the Catholic Church to deliver a policy designed by the government of Canada, a policy designed to strip children of their cultural identity replacing it with shame that followed them throughout their life. It was a catastrophe for generations within the Indigenous population of Canada. at the time that she set up the School for Girls in Africa I would have loved to have had a conversation with Oprah about my experience in residential school and those of my brothers and sisters. I would have cautioned her about the direction she was taking her School for Girls and look at ways to mitigate the sense of separation and not feeling good enough. And yes the trauma. that goes with it.
Our serious conversations (in my head) are most often about how the boundaries between her public life and personal life are muddled. As she became increasingly richer and more isolated from the masses the two become one leaving little room for her to be her “authentic self” and who to trust becomes gradually more difficult.
Kitty Kelly published an unauthorized biography, Oprah, Kitty and Me (interview with Matt Lauer and Erica Jong).
I read the book, and by and large feel that Kelly did a balanced job of writing about Oprah’s life, despite the difficulty in getting sources. However, Kelly writes mostly about what she thought were the tantalizing and sensational bits of Oprah’s life, which occurred before Oprah became “Oprah.” Maybe that’s what she thinks sells, but it does not make a great book, in my opinion.
The argument biographers have in writing about someone, especially if it is unauthorized, is that this person is in the “public” and the public has the right to know. I think this premise is wrong. I really don’t care if she (Oprah) had a rebellious teenage phase. Who hasn’t? Indeed, fragments of our past often do not create a clear picture of who we are in the present. More importantly, it is no one’s business.
I would much prefer to read an authorized biography than an unauthorized one for exactly the reason that it is their life, and it is up to them what they want shared publicly.It is no wonder that Oprah must go to extremes to keep her life private.
In my head, it will always be just Oprah and me. It can’t get much more private than that. Of Course I cannot take Gail’s place, but I hope they would make room for me.
We only have one life and she, my best friend (in my head), Oprah, is living her best life, for which she needs no apology. And who knows whether we will become friends or not; life can surprise, and we need to be open to that surprise. She has a podcast, and I have a podcast, Emphatic Witness. Who knows, we may one day be a guest on each other’s podcast. Stranger things have happened like meeting a friend on a message board of over 2 million people in a different country! When Oprah calls I will answer her call.
Holy Angels Mission I spent 7 years in. My 3 brothers and me.
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From the Shores of the Ottawa River 
