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Navigating Life
Ottawa River I’m sharing something very personal, a challenging situation I have had most of my life, because I hope that both my struggles and my insights may be of use to you in your life, in some way. In fact, This by far, is the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever shared on a social media platform in the hopes that something about my journey will support you on yours.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a blog writer, podcaster, and the founder of a charitable foundation, seventhgift.ca I’ve held executive positions most of my career.
I had poliomyelitis (polio) as a child, shortly after I started walking. I know that a lot of folks might not know much about polio because it’s been nearly eradicated over the last 65 years. But as a child when I got hit with it, polio was one of the most feared diseases on the planet. You might even question, how I got polio when the polio vaccine was available before I was even born. I am Indigenous; and my parents lived in an Indigenous community. Need I say more?
In those years, polio was killing thousands of children worldwide every summer and paralyzing tens of thousands more. The numbers were in the millions.
We can celebrate that rates of polio have dropped phenomenally around the world since then. In recent years, there have been only a few hundred cases per year of polio in the entire world, mostly in 3rd world countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan.
I have no memory of the incident except what I’ve been told. One day I was paralyzed, and I couldn’t walk. And after a while, the feeling and movement began slowly to return. But the process of regaining use of my legs was slow, and only after many surgeries I was able to walk again.
In the 60’s and 70’s polio was treated by orthopedic doctors because there was little experience understanding that it affected the motor neurons in the spine. I was fitted with long braces on both legs, but eventually only need a short brace on my left leg.
When I entered adulthood, the prognosis was that I would never walk normally, or run due to weakness and discrepancy in my left leg.
After a partial stroke in 2018 I decided to update my brace. it had been over 20 years since I had a new one.
My stroke doctor, who I respect, referred me to an orthopedic specialist, who refused to give me a prescription for the type of brace I had as a child, one which allowed my ankle to move as I walked. She said that with the weakness in my left leg this brace was not suitable for me. When I allerted my specialist, he said he couldn’t do anything about it. He replied to my email when I brought it to his attention saying:
“This Dr. is my department’s expert in this field and you have been seeing her. I’m not passing the buck, but should not this be going to her?” “
She told me clearly, I will not give you a prescription for the brace you want. What was I to do? I felt defeated. Based on research and decades of experience dealing with my challenges, I was convinced that the current rigid brace she recommended would only create complications for me down the road, as I got older. My research showed that a movable ankle is necessary to lubricate joints in my leg, my knees, and my hips. We are not meant to be in a unmovable brace, it is not natural. In 2023 there must be braces that are supportive and yet allow for some natural movement.
I saw my GP, who fortunately understood what I was asking for and, he provided a prescription for a hybrid brace, a mix of a rigid and movable ankle. The process took me two years and now I have exactly the brace I wanted and needed (see the photo). Indeed, I have captured some independence, I feel as though I’ve got my life back to some degree. I recently saw a professional who confirmed that my hip joints were stiff and not rotating in a natural way. I need to mitigate further damage in my hips, and I believe this brace in part is how to do that.
Developing Post-Polio Syndrome (PPS)
Poliovirus Then and Now
I developed post-polio syndrome, or (PPS) when I was 32, and to that point I had not heard the term despite living so many years with polio. You may never have heard of post-polio syndrome, either, and this is true of most physicians too. A significant percentage of the people who got polio and survived, and particularly those who worked extra hard to achieve things despite having been stricken with the disease, have suffered later in their lives from this condition. To add to the complication of PPS, I suffered a partial stroke during surgery in 2018. I have trouble walking; it is not clear how much is related to stroke or the PPS.
The medical literature says this about PPS. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371137/
It affects between 25–40% of polio survivors. And unlike polio itself, PPS is not contagious. But PPS is serious. Parts of the body that regain movement after being paralyzed by the original polio can again become paralyzed.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-polio-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355669
Nearly all polio survivors who develop PPS do so within 15–40 years after their initial polio. When I first noticed symptoms, I was told it was age related and that everybody loses muscle strength. I was 32.
I’m doing the best I can with it, including getting as much exercise as I possibly can, which is a challenge when your legs don’t work well and you worry about falls. I believe in doing all I can with what I’ve got. And, of course I’m doing everything I can that might help me to retain as much quality of life as possible, which is why I fought to get the brace I knew I needed to give me quality of life.
I’m listening, in every moment that I can, for what I can learn and what I can love on this journey. In fact, when I start to feel depressed or start to feel sorry for myself, I will often think about Viktor Frankl and what he endured, and yet he came out on the other side whole . Or I’ll recall some of the things I love. Not just the things I like — that just wouldn’t be enough to shift my energy. But the things and the people I truly love. Like music, reading, writing, and having a purposeful life.
I’m going to be honest. was not all sunshine and roses, especially having to work hard against conventional “expert” medical thinking to get a brace I knew would make my life better. What I have learnt is no matter the challenges, one must look first to give meaning to it, and then move into action to improve their situation. As an Indigenous person I am carried on the backs of my ancestors.
I am my own avocate -
Join Our Diverse Tribe: Fostering Engagement and Authenticity
OUT OF THE BOX ENGAGEMENT
In 2018 I created a group on Facebook named “We Belong”.
You may have wondered what is this group about, and what is the purpose of this group?
Thank you those who have joined me after I invited you, trusting me and accepting my invitation to join this group even when my intention for the group was less than clear.
The idea of this group came to me after listening to Author Radha Agrawal’s podcast about social connections, essentially, we as humans seek authentic social connections with others. We not only seek these connections it is important for our mental and physical health to have healthy relationships. Facebook, we have been led to believe would facilitate this connection. However, we started using it more artificially.
Furthermore, I have found that Facebook does not meet our need for this connection and a feeling of belonging, except when we get a DM. Social media is designed for more superficial entertainment use and to collect personal information. Instead of connecting us. It has created more isolation and dissatisfaction in our lives.
And more generally other social platforms have not found a way to engage each other instead we are having parallel conversations. Like ships passing each other in the night. I had a look at my friends and realized I have some awesome friends I have a tribe, I have a community and decided to bring them altogether in one place where we can design a community that works for us. My rational for creating a virtual community is due to my frustration of social media.
I am the administer of several groups. I use social platforms like twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. None of these platforms satisfy my need to connect. I find them superficial. Each of them ends up being pretty much the same as my personal Facebook page, in that people are not engaging with me on a deep authentic level. Perhaps they like a certain post but often will not contribute any more than a thumbs up. People post pictures, recap travel where they’ve gone, where they ate, and that is all good, but I’m looking for something more I am looking for serious conversations that are inspiring and thought provoking. Something more you.
For example, at dinner with a couple of friends our dinner conversation was electrifying and engaging. We discussed youth incarceration, restorative justice, the judicial system, and whether it was helpful in reforming criminals? The overcrowded penitentiaries and the impact of those on reforming criminals. We discussed healing lodge as a mechanism for reforming criminals who committed serious offenses. We discussed the cycle of alcohol on generations, how the youth are impacted by this trend. We discussed how youth are place in same prisons as harden adult criminals. Because once you were over the age of 18 you are treated as an adult and therefore will be placed with other adults. one of the examples discussed was how a stupid action while under the influence can change the trajectory of one’s life. We discussed how incarceration does very little to reform a person or even deter repeat offenders. The subject is serious and impacts our society. Of course, our conversation really didn’t resolve the questions, however you never know where such conversation will lead in the future as it percolates in the mind. Perhaps deep conversations like these can only happen face to face, but if we give this group a chance, I believe it can happen here as well.
The invitation Letter I sent to a few friends 6 years ago to join We Belong.
When I first started this group that each of you was carefully considered before I added you. I was looking for a compassionate person, an intellectual, a person with varied interest, a well-read person.I was looking for people who will make this group engaging, who would be authentic and have the highest integrity in their word and ensure that whatever they post will be inclusive and respectful. I believe each of you have some of these qualities. If I am correct in my assumption that you too are dissatisfied with your experience on social media, then I made the right choice to add you to this founding group.
What I would need from you is your word that you would be an active participant in the group. That you would be respectful, and kind in your responses. My promise to you is that I will facilitate and moderate the conversations and ensure that participants remain authentic, respectful, and helpful. I will ensure to keep this a safe place for sharing of ideas. Like the conversation over dinner last evening, we were able to discuss some very serious topic without it degrading to personal attacks but instead added value to the overall conversation.
Is this something you are interested and being part of? if yes, I am pleased to provide this forum for you. If not, – if this is too serious of a group, too intellectual, you can leave the group and I will not be offended. This is not for everyone. Because sometimes all we really want is to be entertained and there is nothing wrong with that.
I promised you is that I will facilitate, monitor conversations to ensure participants remain authentic and keep this a safe place for everyone. I have fulfilled my promise to the group, this is a safe place.
We can reset this group to realize my aspiration to feel connected. The key to it succeeding will be directly correlated to your participation! Which is why I carefully picked the first group of people keeping in mind how each of you will respond and to set the tone for the group. I value each one of you in the group and your opinion matters. I want to learn from you.
TOPICS can be introduced by anyone, provide a short synopsis with the question. Subject areas can be identified like health, books, neurology, philosophy, spiritual, psychology, relationships, food, medicine, culture, politics, religion you can introduce any subject if it is respectful and not offensive to anyone.
Racism and inciting hate will not be tolerated, and you will be requested to leave the group. I will make every effort to not control the dialogue, only facilitate and moderate.
I, honestly, I didn’t think of specific details of how this will work. I do know that I want to continue my daily meditation insights which I post on Instagram, twitter and sometimes my personal Facebook page. I have received feedback from many of you who have indicated you enjoy reading them. I see the insights as setting a tone for the group daily.
Having said the above, if you have any ideas of how this could work, how you want it to work, I welcome your remarks and we can design this with your input.
My intention is to create a community of like-minded people who are interested in having a real connection with each other. The goal is to meet our need for real social connections. We can work out the details as we go along. Now there are no hard and fast rules. The experiment was to see if we can override our automatic reactions and default reactions in response to what others post. Like distrusting others or being too shy to comment. Essentially, it is to create a new paradigm, a shift in how we relate on social media. This is a social experiment and I have no idea if it will work, or if this is the right platform, I am interested to see where it will go. If I find it is not working, I will let you know before I delete the group.
In my tribe we have CEO’s, lawyers, doctors. Artist, Indigenous elders, professors of law, and social work. Indigenous leaders, authors, people who participate at the UN on human rights. Students, Environmentalists, people who are concerned about the impact of our actions on the environment. And, in a word, game changers, innovators, thought provoker’s, some of you I known personally, and we connect on many levels, we have shared a meal, tea, and pleasant conversations. I like the idea of having you all meet each other for this experiment, and we will see where this leads us. Welcome to my tribe!
The first questions I posted to the group is if you oversaw the world what type of community you would create, keep in mind that this is a virtual community and now we have members from all over the globe. In this group, I hope that members would feel comfortable meeting each other in the real world. What would your values and goals be? Who would you invite? No one replied. It has been 6 years since I created this group, is it useful to you, or should I delete it?
Over the last six years I have posted on
- The weather
- loss and grief
- dementia and support
- Climate change
- I posted a link to my podcast to listen to conversations with ordinary inspiring people
- Happiness
- Sleep hygiene
- My Health
- Visitors
- Friends and family visiting
- Life on the river
Ottawa River -
THE FAMILY I CHOOSE
family picnic in an Edmonton park. The saying goes that we don’t pick our family, but we do pick our friends. I question that!
Sisters
L to RIGHT Dora, Rose, Liz, me, Mary, Annie 2016 Cahiron
Said another way, I believe that our soul, our true essence, picks the family we are meant to be born into and we decide how living within our family can help us to show up powerfully in life. You can be either a victim or a warrior. Further, I also believe I picked the best time to be born. I feel fortunate to be part of a family who shaped my character.
As Indigenous people, we are an extension of the natural world. There is a saying that we on some level pick the family we are born into from the spiritual realm before we are born. And I reflect on what being a Deranger teaches me. I am guided and inspired by my family and the lessons I am taught helps me move through life with grace.
As an Indigenous person, I believe that our genetic code and both the impacts of trauma and our challenges are transferred to us over seven generations. And in each generation we overcome weakness and learn lessons in this life. Which begs the question, why did I pick this family?
That said the study of astrology does point to something called cahiron, which are the lessons we are meant to learn in this life. Have you ever heard about an old soul; some people who appear to have lived many lives? The Buddhists believe we are reborn until we learn the answer to our suffering. It is our karma until the lesson is learnt.
Reasons
Taking this perspective as I do, gives me strength in how I respond to my life .
I chose the Deranger family. Instead of thinking it was random that I was born into this extraordinary family. Because it puts me in powerful position in that nothing in my life is done to me.
When I start from the position I choose everything in my life, even my family, means I don’t have room to blame anyone for how life treats me. I must learn from my experiences.
Background
Coming from a large Indigenous family, we were not wealthy in material things. However, we have something far greater, we have the guidance and protection of our ancestors. We have family who are caring, and lighthearted. My family taught me to be confident in my own skin.
Isidore Deranger my dad 1909-1992 Context
Deranger Family
My chosen family (of 16 children) in a Dene Indigenous family lived in Northern Saskatchewan before I was born. They lived in Uranium City (where I was born), then moved to Fort Chipewyan, and Fort Mcmurray in Alberta. In Fort Chipewyan we lived In a small hamlet without electricity or plumbing, with a mixed population of Dene, Cree, Métis, and people of European origin.
Let this sink in. I was raised with ten brothers, five sisters and our two parents in a one-room log cabin before we moved into a bigger house.
By and large it was a Roman Catholic household, but thankfully, my father Isidore was deeply rooted in our Denesuline culture of natural laws of nature. We are connected to our ancestral lands. My late brother Pat’s ashes were buried on our land, Denekizi. And the ashes of my late brother Roger, who passed on December 7, 2024 (incidentally my birthday) will be spread there this summer.
The final resting place of elder brother Pat Deranger (1951 – 2019). RIP The distinction between our worldview and that of the colonizers is the notion of good and evil, because within an Indigenous worldview there is no such thing as good or evil, heaven or hell, sin, or sinners. These do not exist in our reality. This is a Roman Catholic church construct designed to control their congregation.
Little me in front of our log cabin in Uranium City After all, we don’t ascribe sins to flowers, birds and other wildlife. The RC believes that a newborn is already a sinner, We exist like nature. in nature, and we are interconnected, and interdependent on one another. That is the Indigenous wouldview.
Recently my older brother Jimmy said, our culture is tied to the caribou, and our language. We were nomadic peoples. It is vital that we speak our Dene language, think first in Dene, he says. We Dene continue to utilize our traditional lands in all direction. And we always give offerings to the land and water.
When my ancestors hunted, fished or trapped they thanked the wildlife for giving their life for our food and we shared our food with our community. Our connection to the land is sacred.
The language we spoke at home is Chipewyan (Denesuline), a Dene dialect. My father was a hunter and trapper, and my mother made beautiful beaded Dene jackets, gloves, and moccasins for the family.
The last jacket my mom made for my son, Andrew There are no words to describe how I feel about this family, other than it is a blessing to be on this journey with my siblings and as one of the youngest, and the youngest female. I have always felt cherished and protected by my family.
I am truly blessed. There are a wealth of lessons to be learned growing up in a large Indigenous family of acceptance, compromise, and diplomacy, which led to me being tenacious with an unwavering spirit.
Our mother was a complex person. She was both firm but could be flexible. She was incredibly demanding and determined. But she was also generous, caring, and funny. Even though we had a full house she made room for other children who needed a safe place.
My mom, older brother Rossi (1957-2016) and me In turn, I stood for being the best daughter I could be for her, as I matured. I loved her unconditionally. Each time I thought of her, my heart would fill with pure joy and love for her. Even now 8 years after her passing I feel the love I have for her. I can honestly say that we’ve had an extraordinary relationship. I saw everything she did through the lense of my love for her and her love for all of us.
My mom’s likeness done by artist Margaret Ferraro. com 
My mom Therese Deranger (1919-2016) The lessons I learned from my Deranger family are
- Speak up when an injustice occurs — which is why my career was in Indigenous land claims.
- Love unconditionally
- Don’t be afraid to take risks
- Accept the knowledge link to our ancestors is strong and they are always close beside us helping and protecting us
- Remember the words of the elders
- Respect all living beings
- Show up in life, listen and be present
6 generations matriarch 
My oldest brother Peter (left) and my late brother Roger (right) (Denekizi) 
Our traditional land – home of Dene Kizi Academy Land based teachings 
Dene Kizi Academy 2022 
Future traditional knowledge keepers 
Mom and sons and other male descendants on her 90th birthday. -
Life peppered with Gratitude is a life worth living
On the Ottawa River on a friend’s boat Being happy means living your best life and not being afraid that others see it.
legends say that hummingbirds float free of time carrying our hopes for love, Joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, and every personal connection has meaning. laughter is life’s sweetest creation.
Being authentic, is not always the easy, Being happy means living my best life and not being afraid to let others see me.
Recently someone asked what I do. I responded I am a writer, a blogger she asked are you an influencer. I said no, I’m not an influencer, however I do have a blog and I am the host of Empathetic Witness Podcast with Angelina. If I inspire others to live their best life it makes me happy.
The moments of my life are not staged for social media. Gratitude highlights the positive in my life, and happiness is being present for those moments.
You, and only you, decide how you will react to situations either of your own doing or someone else’s actions. You decide how you will react . It is simple. Don’t make it complicated. If you want to be happy, you can be because you’re in charge of your feelings. all it takes is a change in perspective.
Some situations will take more effort on your part, like a muscle you need to exercise. Remind yourself when you notice your reaction can either hurt or give you peace and change the story.
For example, A regret I had years ago when I did not support a friend, and I felt she felt betrayed by my actions. I later called her to apologize. She understood why behaved as I did, and she said she was okay. A big-hearted response, and it changed my story of the event. I realized in that moment that it was my own perspective that was making me feel badly.
Being 100% authentic, may not always be the easiest route to take. I am grateful to have family who are not afraid to have a good belly laugh and live life not taking themselves too seriously.
My cousin 
My sisters! 
My sisters enjoying a joke! -
WE ARE NOT GARBAGE; SOMEONE KNOWS SOMETHING And CHOOSES TO REMAIN SILENT
In this blog are my thoughts on the matter of Missing and Murdered Indigenous women in Canada. (MMIW) Caution: reading this blog may be triggering to some.
My intention for writing this blog Is to motivate and inspire you, the reader to want to make a difference in this matter. You might think, how can I make a difference? I have some suggestions below on how you can help. Don’t disappoint me, please. Comment if this topic makes you think or do you remain indifferent.
First, I am an Indigenous woman from northern Alberta. If I went missing, I am confident my family would be concerned and would look for me. Not because I am educated, and a contributing member of society who pays taxes, but because I am a human being, and I matter!
My point is it shouldn’t matter if I were a drug addict, homeless and or earning a six figure income for people to care if get murdered.
My Connection to two victims
I imagine, because of the large number of missing and murdered Indigenous women, there must be several people in Canada who have been touched by either knowing someone who is missing or knowing of someone who is related to someone who is missing or has been murdered.
It is interesting being that I am from a small hamlet of less than 1500 people, and I know TWO Indigenous women who were murdered. A childhood friend first went missing, and then was found murdered in the United States. She was my classmate at Holy Angels Residential school in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. I remember Sandra as a young girl with a beautiful smile. She was smart too. Years later, I had heard she made some questionable choices in her young life. One summer, she made a fatal mistake. She decided to go hitchhiking into the United States and was not heard from again.
Much later, her family received a call from the RCMP with devastating news that was delivered by phone, not even in person. The officer described how her body was dismembered and disposed of in garbage bags. Her DNA sample was the only way she was identified. Her killer is a person who picked her up and gave her a ride and was never convicted of her murder. Sandra was only 24 years old.
Ms. Amber Tuccaro, whose killer’s voice was heard on a chilling cell phone recording linked above is just one piece in a RCMP investigation, was also from my community, and was the daughter of my older brother’s classmate. We owe it as a society to care and to take some sort of collective action. I challenge everyone reading this blog post to do something. Write the PM’s office and demand he does something about the missing and murdered Canadian Indigenous women and girls. At the very least, share this blog on your social media. Do not underestimate the power you have to make a difference.
If we remain silent, our collective inaction speaks volumes about who we are as a society. The message this sends is loud and clear to me and perhaps to the murderers living freely among us, that Canadian Indigenous women and young girls can be raped, killed, and disposed of like garbage. When did our society become so indifferent to the violence against Indigenous women and girls? That is a rhetorical question because since colonization very little value has been placed upon an Indigenous person’s life.
It must STOP. Where is the outrage?? We need answers! They were human beings, members of our society. We should have protected these Indigenous women.
Sadly, we continue to hear stories of the discovery of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in 2023 and it will continue until we change our attitude about Indigenous women .
Are you interested enough to ask the questions?
- Who is doing this to the Canadian Indigenous women and girls?
- How many murderers are walking among us?
- Where are the bodies of these women and girls? If nothing else, we need to put them to rest by finding the bodies and bringing them back to their families for a proper respectful burial.
- How can you help
Consider if someone is murdering women and girls it could be someone you know. Even more of a concern, since this is not an isolated or regional matter, and is happening across Canada. There could be many murderers among us. Many Indigenous women have disappeared on the trail of tears highway in BC.
Recently Canadian serial killer Paul Bernardo has been in the news because he was transferred to a medium security prison. I remember in the 90’s, at least 3 people knew it was Bernardo who was raping and murdering teenage girls. These were Caucasian girls.
It makes me angry that as recent as this week an Indigenous young woman’s body was discovered in a landfill, discarded, like garbage. It is incomprehensible the outrage is only coming from Indigenous communities. It reinforces the belief that there is little value in an Indigenous woman’s life. Am I wrong?
Amber’s dismembered body was found in a ditch in Alberta the summer of 2012, Over 20 years ago, two years after she went missing. RCMP are appealing to the public to identify the voice in a recorded call from a cell phone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mEeyd1sF6g Her murderer was never found.
A woman’s body was recovered from Winnipeg’s landfill on Monday July 17, 2023, the second in 10 months, with more believed to be buried.
The landfill is currently closed as police continue to investigate after 33-year-old Linda Beardy’s body was discovered at the beginning of the week. It should never be reopened as a landfill. “It should be turned into a memorial site because we know that there is more,” it was reported to CBC Manitoba Information Radio host Marcy Markusa on Thursday. In the context of this society bodies of murdered Indigenous women will be dumped if not this land fill, in other places where it would be as difficult to discover.
The truth is I am at a loss. I realize anger doesn’t help but is it enough to motivate you the reader to do something? What would it take to see a modicum of emotion and compassion about these girls and women from you? Well, to be fair, I do believe you care, how could you not care. However, I am not as sure that the enormity of the situation is really appreciated. Until you have personally experienced a loved one murdered you cannot fully understand the anger, the grief, bargaining and acceptance. Let’s say I was able to reach you and you ask the question what can you do? The first thing you can do is get on social media with the hashtag Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women #MMIW. Share this blog with your network encourage them to get on social media with the hashtag #MMIW.
The question remains, where are they? The conservative numbers of missing and murdered women is over 5,000. If your family member disappeared, what would you do to bring awareness.
What Next?Mr. Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, does it matter how many more must be reported missing or found pulled from dump sites, having been murdered? The Prime Minister has many priorities, but this must be one of them. The conversation around the discovery in a Manitoba landfill is disgusting, it is about the cost and manpower to continue searching the landfill, so they gave up leaving the enormous task to the Indigenous people. Sadly, I can’t be convinced it were a Settler, a non-Indigenous woman the conversation would be on cost. Nonindigenous women would be concerned that a murder is out there. They would organize themselves so they would be protected and safe. I am afraid the truth is there is virtually no value placed on an Indigenous woman’s life.
Why are the Prime Minister of Canada (PM), Royal Canadian mounted police (RCMP) desensitized to the plight of the surviving families, the parents, the siblings, and the friends of the Indigenous women who have disappeared or been found murdered?
Remember the Pickton murders in BC? Police were informed there may be a serial killer preying on indigenous women from Vancouver’s lower East Side. These concerns fell on deaf ears. It begs the question can Indigenous bodys be more dishonoured, in a landfill or given to pigs to be eaten so the evidence is destroyed. Both are equally disrespectful. Let’s not forget the Gladue case in Alberta. Thankfully, in that case the murder was charged.
In 2014, the Canadian premiers unanimously supported the request for an inquiry. Finding the body of Ms. Tina Fontaine had renewed the call to Mr. Harper then Prime Minister of Canada to call for an inquiry. Still, he remains steadfast against it.
An incomplete list of women and girls who have vanished or been murdered
RCMP Report Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women
Dr. Sarah Hunt What Should Be Done
Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada
Sign the Liberal’s petition calling for a Federal inquiry into Missing and Murdered women
http://youtu.be/dBPo9FgRBj4 Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women in Canada video by grade 11 students.
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The Ugliness Of Social Media
At times, you need to wait to see clearly. Ottawa River affected by forest fires in Quebec It doesn’t matter to me what you believe about politics, religion, or vaccines, or if you are gay, single, or bisexual. I won’t hate you if we disagree. If we’re friends or family, I will look past our differences and look at what we have in common. At the end of the day I can choose to ignore your comments if you don’t agree with me, and get on with my life. You’re free to do the same. So what if you hurt my feelings?
Indeed I might get upset by something you said, but not enough to go to the extreme of disowning you. It has been done to me and I saw it it as an overreaction and it didn’t require the same reaction from me. I won’t play that game. Honestly I tried to get back the relationship, especially with family, (you know who you are). I am human after all, and I have feelings. But, I have moved on.
That said, if I feel you’re open-minded and mature enough to have a debate, I might debate with you. The truth is that no matter what our differences might be, I won’t take your opinion personally because it has nothing to do with me, even if your comments are directed at me. It is merely your opinion. and you have a right to it.
In the wake of the implosion of the Titanic submarine a few weeks ago, social media was flooded with personal opinions. There have been numerous comments on the tragedy and the fallout on social media was swift. Many people have unfriended each other based on what these comments meant to them. To be sure, there were some ugly comments in the news feeds. Emotions were volatile. By and large people held very strong opposing opinions. Mean things were written, and shared widely, largely to people who didn’t even know each other.
I was disappointed to discover even Indigenous peoples joined in the negative conversation. It was mixed with the notion of colonization and the disdain for the uber rich. Many Indigenous peoples see through the lense of colonization. Even celebrations like July 1, or Thanksgiving can seem negative when seen through this lense.
Personally I can separate colonization from the rich throwing caution to the wind to explore. Let’s not forget people died. However, I am thankful there are people brave enough to explore vast oceans, as long as they don’t upset the ecosystem. They are human too and it was their choice. Exploration creates a bigger world, and new discoveries .
Which begs the question, is social media making us inflexible and stupid? Are we becoming more egocentric, in that we believe our opinion matters and is paramount? I think, yes, we are and yes, we most certainly seem to be.
Social media gives us a false sense of courage, and ironically our anonymity online makes us feel important. The fact is that because we are not face to face, looking into the eyes of a person, that we have the courage to espouse our unfiltered and sometime knee jerk reactions to something we have read online . Often without knowing the context, but this can be an act of cowardliness. Furthermore, often we are not held responsible for the fallout that ensues after certain comments are posted. We can simply disappear from the conversation or troll silently following the discussion thread, feeling self-important, and right.
If I were to worry if someone won’t like what I blog about I might never blog at all. I urge you not to give up, exercise your creative outlet to blog.
I give pause when commenting on something I know little about. This is particularly true if I am commenting on something that has struck an emotional cord. Sometimes, I will read something online and say to myself, “OMG!” “idiot”, “Does that person not fact check”, “WTF!”, etc. then, I write a critical and judgmental comment. But I have trained myself to pause and decide whether to delete my comment because my opinion on social media to virtual strangers in the greater scheme of things, does not matter! I say to myself: is it worth my energy to continue?
I like that humanity is culturally diverse with varying points of view. I can’t imagine what this world would look like if everyone thought like me. Well, I can, and it would be awesome!
Overall, if you want a simpler life and keep your blood pressure down, don’t take everything you read on social media as a personal affront to your character, integrity, morals, or ethics. The more you let go of your ego, the freer you are and the less of a jerk you become. And if you are tempted to lash out in haste, it is very therapeutic to write exactly how you are feeling. But take a deep breath and then delete it or share it with a trusted friend. Maybe it will bring you a different perspective!
The foregoing was my opinion and hopefully it was not an affront to anyone who reads it.
Six generations of Indigenous women who never lost themselves on social media. -
Sunday LIVING INTO THE FUTURE
Ottawa River Sunset Over the summer, a technique I learned about in a course was how to live into your future.
We started with setting a date we want to accomplish something, and then you reverse engineer what you hope to accomplish by that date backwards until you reach today’s date.
For example, my friend Wants an organic orchard on his land not too far for from here. He asked me how can he accomplish this using this method? I gave him these steps to follow.
- Create your team. His team is a horticulturist, seed supplier, and a friend who has an orchard near Niagara Falls. He needs at least six members on his team.
- Meet with the team assign tasks and a system for measuring accountability.
- Map what needs to be done each week until you reached the specific date of completion.
- Visualize walking through the orchard look at the details how does the soil underneath your shoes feel is there a scent on the trees. I always have problems with this type of exercise because I have aphantasia, which means I can’t visualize images in my mind, but I can experience the feeling I want. Our brain does not know what is real or imagined, what feeling does a walk through your orchard give you I asked him?
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Inner Peace is in You
Discover Inner Peace 2022 March 13
It was after reading a friend’s Facebook page post it prompted me to write this blog post. Paul is a mediator and his words helped me focus on this piece. Thank you for your wisdom, Paul.
My garden Inner peace comes from a relationship that is based on acceptance, intimacy, and curiosity. Like a garden we need to weed out what does not serve us, and cultivate beauty, resilience,and strength. Sometimes this requires a change in perspective.
The late Zen Master, Thich Hanh Often wrote that peace should not be possessed, it should be a catalyst to help others suffering to discover peace.
As a long time, meditator, I am comfortable exploring my feelings in meditation. To know yourself more fully, explore with wonder each layer of who you are. My meditation practice became a lifeline after a brain injury a few years ago.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with left side neglect ((ischaemic right brain stroke during surgery, which meant at first , my brain could not recognize objects on my left side. I approached my brain injury with curiosity.
This injury led me to change my diet and empowered me to respond to a new version of who I am. I spent many hours researching the brain, reading, and listening to podcasts on neurology.
My first thought was not why me, but how interesting is it that our brain works like this. I was really intrigued. It was not easy but I persevered, and made peace with what happened by understanding what happened in my brain. One can always reconcile a negative event with a positive perspective. It helps the process to have the right question or statements of inquiry that will lead you to peace.
There is no right or wrong way of discovery. You’ll know it when it happens. I have found the key to peace is acceptance. Paul added the following steps, It is not verbatim. Meditate on these statements; to create a new perspective.
- I create my reality (trust). This perspective becomes available once we are aware of cause and effect.
- I am choosing what is happening (trust). Seeing ourselves as being endlessly creative.
- I welcome what is here (accepting our current experience).
- Appreciating physical sensations (intimacy). Appreciating the physical sensations in our body right now invigorates and increases the intensity of what we are experiencing. Think about eating your favorite food. When we slow down and taste each bite we feel more.
- I am the entirety of what I am experiencing (intimacy). What I am experiencing is creating the sense of me.
- Viewing life as being connect to all. (Cause and effect.,we are all connected) A flower does not exist without rain,sun and wind.
- I don’t know what I’m experiencing (Curiosity). Letting go of all ideas and labels about what it is we are experiencing. Looking at life as if we were a newborn baby seeing things for the first time. (wonder)
- I don’t know what I am. Creates space for possibilities.
- I experience a sense of excitement about what is about to happen next. Discovery of endless possibilities.
Discovering your way to a peace is not easy, we all have our own pain, sorrows, and fears. Give yourself time and space to embrace and recognize how you’re suffering. Be compassionate and gentle when,Starting an inquiry to self. However, remember there’s no right or wrong way to do this.
My meditation space/sauna -
Luezan Tue called Our Name
My family were environmentalists well before the term became popularized.
We are Denesuline people, from Northern Saskatchewan. We are strong, proud. Stewards, of Mother Earth. We take this responsibility seriously.
In the 70’s our dad answered the call of the land, and took his older children, to our traditional hunting lands. They hadn’t been back there for over 40 Decades until last summer of 2021. This is my dad’s legacy.
He answered the calling of the traditional lands, Luezan Tue, and inspired four generations to return to Djeskelni. He passed his baton to the next generation. He reaffirmed our sacred connection to the land. Everyone he took back to the land were transformed and carries the calling deep within their spirit.
In August, 2021, a small group of about of 17 family members went back to our land, organized by my nephew, Donald Deranger, who had gone there with Baba in the 1970s. They went to spread my late brother Patrick’s ashes around the lake to fulfill his last wish.It is clear to me that Patrick’s death facilitated a renewed interest back to our traditional land. The family answered the calling to return to the land. It is difficult to deny how powerful this spiritual calling is.
FAMILY MISSION
- Increase the quality of life for seven generations by building upon our rich Denesuline traditional heritage based on being stewards of the land, lending a helping hand, and create business ventures to generate profits and financial independence. Our family embodies Dene cultural tradition the pillars of which is respect, and to honour the teachings of our ancestors.
My family, like most Indigenous families, is complicated, affected by intergenerational trauma of colonialism, and residential school.
We have sometimes temporarily lost sight of family, our connection to each other and the spirit of our traditional lands. We are easily triggered and often will cut off one another from our life.
That said, I adore my Dene family, dysfunctions and all.
I read somewhere when you change the beginning of your story it changes the end of the story.
After I wrote this blog piece I went back and changed the beginning of our story.
I remain hopeful for the next seven generations. That they will continue to answer the call of our traditional lands. I see renewed interest in some of my nephews and nieces. The calling is strong in them, and I am hopeful.
Family Dene Camp 2021 
Djeskelni Bech’anie Decheny’ah Camp, on the south shore of Luezan Tue within the southwest region of the Etthen Edeli dialect region, about 40 miles south of Tu Cho, 
3 generations, my nephew Donald Deranger, his son, and grandchild. 
Sand dunes on our traditional lands 
Older sisters preparing wild meat from our land for the feast. 
Brother-in-law John Mercredi (not at the camp) when you listen closely to Dene drum you hear the heartbeat of the land. Acknowledgment
My brother, Roger for keeping traditional prophecies of the Denesuline alive.
My nephew Donald Deranger for holding the baton for the next generations, and last, but so important, my late brother Patrick, a sacred pipe holder for passing the baton to his daughter when he gave her the sacred responsibility and honour of spreading his ashes on our traditional land.
Patrick Deranger -
2022 striding into the new year with eyes wide open
My intention in 2022 is not about losing weight although I could stand to lose a few pounds, it is not about exercising more. I could do more of that too.
My intention, my goal for 2022 is to not live small, to show up in life because my actions matter and the people in my life deserve to see the very best version of myself, Which is to show up in service to indigenous peoples struggling with addressing their trauma.
The next Being a Leader course starts in January 2022. If your interested in creating the best life for yourself connect with Tanyss Munro tanyssmunro@gmail.com 2022 I will continue my journey of growth and transformation, particularly as it pertains to my foundation Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training. (G.I.F.T) I’m really excited To be part of a group of extraordinary humans on the foundation. Our vision has capabilities to be a game changer in the delivery of services to indigenous communities across Alberta.
First, I am excited to confirm renowned physician and expert on trauma Dr. Gabor Mate has agreed to support GIFT foundation in the capacity as advisor to our curriculum writers. secondly, we start the new year by inviting additional board members who hold expertise in the areas of psychology, sociology,, law, and curriculum development.
My late dad, Isidore and older brother Fred Deranger -
January 1, 2022!
Living on the river shore is captivating, every day there is something phenomenal happening on the river, the neighbors made a ice rink over the weekend. -
WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT IN ALBERTA
In January 2024, Arctic cold blanketed much of North America, which led to a conversation on social media about a failing electricity grid, that threatens to divide the owners of fossil fuel cars (or ICE – short for internal combustion engines) and electric vehicles (EV) in Alberta and elsewhere where oil is king.
Albertans love their big 4×4 gas trucks, so it is not surprising the current Premier of Alberta is cautioning people with electric vehicles to refrain from charging their EVs, and other use of electricity during this time because they say it is overly stressful on their failing electrical grid. Most EVs are charged at night at any rate, and the number of owners are small, so that logic is suspect.
First, I admit I am biased, as a member of a household with two electric vehicles and living in a rural area that often loses electricity because of inclement weather. We are fully aware how the cold impacts electricity and our EVs. The problem, I believe, is greater than just unplugging our electric vehicles or appliances.
Secondly, we ultimately must STOP electing anti-green anti-renewable energy government who are if not completely climate deniers, underfund investments in alternative energy and continue to subsidize the oil and gas industry.
That said, we are in an era where we must stop living in the fossil fuel driven past and come up with an alternative to oil and gas. An EV is just one option.
Indeed, we do not (yet) have the infrastructure to convert all gas cars to EVs, but we must contemplate switching to greener energy, it will take time for sure and there will be some challenges along the way. Can we do it by 2035? I believe we can.
Yes, Oil and gas have provided us with a comfortable living for the past 100 years or so, but the question remains is: it the only way to earn a living? Or to drive?
On a recent episode of Empathetic Witness Podcast with Angelina, I put a question to a Lakota First Nation elder how we reconcile the need to work in the oil industry for our livelihood and our concern for the environment.
His answer surprised me. He said that we don’t, and the two just can’t be reconciled. In other words, he said, find another way to earn a living that does not degrade Mother Earth, because it is our ethical obligation to leave the integrity of the Earth whole for the next seven generations. I can understand as an Indigenous person what he is saying. I built a career on the protection of Treaty and Aboriginal Rights to correct historical wrongs of the Canadian Federal government to usurp the territories of Indigenous peoples for the resources like oil and gas, I could have as easily worked for the Government, but I chose not to. I choose to not compromise my Indigenous relationship with Mother Earth for the sake of making a dollar.
In addition to harm to the Earth, think about what fossil fuel consumption is doing to our atmosphere and the heating of our world. We cannot sustain our reliance on oil and gas because the ecological cost is too great. And undoubtedly, we can expect to be experiencing more extreme climate events that will impact the electricity grid. Extreme weather includes unprecedented forest fires that impacts the world globally.
I leave it to you what you do individually to make our government consider green energy. I believe, subsidizing the auto industry that want to build universal electrical charging stations across Canada on the trans-Canada highway for EVs a start. At the same time, I hold no illusions that An EV will save our planet. There are issues with EV, mainly, mining for lithium batteries. Lithium mining is about to become a real issue in the Northwest Territories where some of our clients live. Having said this, EV manufacturers are trying to develop better battery components to minimize the use of lithium.
My late brother Roger (Right) on his last visit to the land in 2021 -
December 18 – A Dog Head Christmas
This year I am embrace the spirit of giving and receiving gifts by being more mindful and thoughtful. I am approaching the season in the spirit of giving rather than as an obligation or expecting gifts in return.
Roger & our older siter Annie a couple of weeks before his passing. Roger a couple of weeks before he journeyed to our Dene bush home in the Spirit world. He was happy.
However, it is a sad time for our family because our brother Roger unexpectedly, passed away on December 7, 2023.
When we have this type of loss, it can be difficult to get into the Christmas spirit. It is natural to be sad because they are no longer here with us and we wish they were. This can leave a void within us; we as we question the meaning of life. It is like that for me now.
However, I turn to my most precious childhood memory of Christmas in Fort Chipewyan, to ease the pain. When my siblings returned home for the holidays from the city.Our house although quite small could always accommodate another person. We would share stories, and jokes , there was excitement to being together at Christmas. It is about spending time with family and how they make us feel loved. We are still grieving the loss of our brother Roger, I know he loved me, and I can feel comfort in the fact that I’ve never disrespected him.
I recall a special gift one year from, him, it was a Jungle Book musical album. I was thrilled that he remembered I liked the movie, and it was a good surprise and a thoughtful gift.
Listening to 630 CHED on a small transistor radio, the countdown of the top hits of the year was a tradition in our home and listening to Christmas tunes.
My sisters would decorate the house, with Christmas ornaments garland and tinsel. There was lots of teasing, and happiness burst through the house. Christmas at home included many family members around and the chaos that ensues with a lot of people being in close quarters. But I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.
Christmas to me is about being with family, enjoying visitors, and, well the food.Freshly baked goods. And turkey dinner. Nothing was more important than the Christmas dinner with all its trimmings, thanks in large part to our big sister Dora, who worked as a cook at the Holy Angels Mission.
Dora the mission cook She was able to use the mission kitchen to cook Christmas dinner for our family.
We had a feast after midnight mass. And after that we would open our gifts. Some years our mom baked a special Christmas pudding cake, Dene Style. Lol I’m still searching for the recipe.
Walking to church for midnight mass was always breathtaking, the reflection of the moonlight on the snow made it sparkle like tiny diamonds, and as we stepped the crunch was like a magical sound. We were happy. I treasure these memories in Doghead more than anything. And I enjoyed the friendship of family and friends that the season brought. .
My childhood Christmas memories in Doghead are magical and precious, it feels like wearing a warm sweater on a cold night, cosy and safe.However, sometimes it is those memories which we measure our current situation. If it does not measure up, leads to sadness and disenchantment during the holidays. When I first got married, Christmas was quite, and I felt nostalgic for a Dog Head Christmas.
Now more than anytime of the year, if you see a homeless person on your way to shop for gifts, don’t ignore them. Ask them for their name and offer them coffee or spare change with love and kindness. And when you wish them, Merry Christmas, mention their name. And don’t worry that they may spend it on booze, give from your heart without boundaries.
To have a stress free Christmas, begin by seeing things through the eyes of wonder and happiness as though you are seeing it for the very first time, like a child.
Tap into the feeling you had as a child. See the beautiful colors of the season, the lights, and see them with the feeling of enjoy, and magic. Look up, look down, and all around you, we so rarely really see what is in our environment. This day, right now, is unique. This day will never happen again.
However, I am very cognizant of how this season also places unbearable pressure on people who are estranged from family and for those people who wish they had more . Christmas season for them can be very challenging, indeed. because they are under enormous societal pressure to make it perfect.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could pass on that generosity and sense of celebration, we feel to those who are less fortunate? I don’t mean only donating to charity but helping someone you know personally who needs it. Pay them a visit, buy them coffee, give a hug, but most of all let them know that their life is worth it. It is the small gestures that could make a difference to someone. Embrace the spirit of Christmas and pass it on…
Better still, call someone on the phone, or text, and have a conversation about how much you appreciate them. If you don’t have anyone to call, call me. We all have an incredible story to tell and listen to others story . Open your heart and smile because you embody the Christmas Spirit. XOXOXOXOXO
I am grateful to for- Good health.
- A caring loving family
- A safe home free of drugs and drama it brings.
- friends who year round surprise me with acts of kindness and love. And to those family members with whom I will not be with this Christmas, I am thinking of you with a special gratitude in my heart, for random texts and calls.
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Lived His GIFT
Roger John Deranger (Denekizi) March 03, 1956- December 7, 2023
Family Traditional lands He was spiritual, both as a Catholic and in our Dene Spirituality. When he was about 14, he had developed arthritis in his knees but that never stopped him from doing the things he enjoyed, traveling.
Until his passing, nothing stopped him from getting where he needs to be. He is the epitome of the nomadic spirit.
On January 2, 1982, he received a job offer as a journalist, by phone for a Native paper in NWT. He was so excited! He accepted the position without hesitation. He said, I studied journalism for this very reason to tell our stories. His soul was happy up north among the Dene. At times it overwhelmed him with something he couldn’t describe. It was forever part of who He was. I remember he was a sound technician on a CBC film with Chief Dan George, and had a small part on another film with Tantoo Martin. RIP my big brother, Roger. Roger had a son, Duran Rabesca Brown, (Myron Brown)
One Christmas, when I was small, he gave me an album – The Jungle Book. I really loved that movie and would play the record all the time. I don’t even know where he bought it.
A couple of years ago before our mom died, we both were heading into the hospital to visit her, when a lady approached us. We stopped and Roger started speaking Denesuline with her in a dialect I didn’t recognize. He was speaking with ease, which really surprised me. As it turns out he speaks 13 Denesuline dialects fluently. Who knew? It is something he picked up in his travels among the various Dene from Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and NWT.Roger was an artist. He studied journalism and communications. That investigative nature continued as he traveled around to the many different Dene communities. He was a writer. At the time of his passing, he was working on a collection of stories.
Journey of Time and Blessings – Roger J. Deranger
The moment I entered this world
My journeys were also put forth and hurled
deep from within I became fueled
With a special blessing I could not named
It is a magic spark which made me
And from there it guided my way
Then time and movement joined as one
Still small, however, I wanted to run
Thus began my journeys with a singing light
Making my spirit fly with all its might
Then the day turned into a mystic season
I carried something for a special reason
When it burst, it threw me far and wide
And made me great with no place to hide
But my journeys continued without any rest
For my talents always kept me at my best
From colors to songs, I always dance
And from above, I was in God’s hands
For it was His love that kept me strong
In a world filled with right and wrong
And time always gave me an assurance
So, my journeys will have a good clearance
To touch every soul and spread His love
Using my special gift which came from above
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Freedom Of letting Go
big sister Mary and me hanging out When I was in university after seeing a dentist he asked, do you notice you are grinding your teeth? I said no. I hadn’t noticed. He suggested I put a note beside me when I’m studying saying are you grinding your teeth or clenching your jaw? This little reminder worked wonders, as I noticed, I was able to stop the behavior. I continue to use that technique today; I have a note on my computer screen that says are you sitting up straight are you holding or your breath?
We hold tightly to control aspects of our life, relationships, children and even things which are out of our control. I admit that I like to be in control, doesn’t everyone? I am a methodical planner, and I think through all the possibilities before I act. But living life this way is stressful.
At the same time , as mediator, I am finding it easier to let go of my need for control or to be right.
Letting go of control does not always mean to do nothing. In other words, when faced with a issue, stop, , and watch your breath. Make an assessment, can you do something about it? If yes, then move into action, without emotions. Too often it is our emotions that prevent us from seeing clearly and missing opportunities that could make our life better. It is being in a calm state, and present. It makes a difficult situation easier to handle .
Freedom is letting go of always wanting to be in control, but it is just as important to move into action calmly when the situation call for you to do that and of course knowing difference. If you can do something to make a difference, then do it. -
Young and In love in 1992 To 2023
With Former Chief Justice of Ontario Tomorrow, November 11th, 2023 is our 31st wedding Anniversary. 11/11 at 11 am.
It has been a lovely journey. Much has changed. Technology with electric self-driving cars, the internet exploded, we have a son, Andrew, 2 granddaughters. Yesterday we installed a smart home security system that can be operated using our iPhones.
What has remained consistent is my love for the partner I chose on this journey. I am not going to sugar-coat it, we have had some difficulties, health issues, family deaths, and financial concerns.
That said, there was nothing that got thrown at us we could not handle because we stand together and supported each other.
Still, I wish I knew 30 years ago what I know today. Mainly, the importance of doing what was necessary to maintain and cultivate my physical health.
Having just started my sixties I can truthfully say I have never experienced any degree of existential crisis.
I always knew my purpose in life, but it became more apparent after a stroke in 2018 and after reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Dr. Viktor Frankl who developed logotherapy. Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, was a man who faced his problems and turned his objectives into actions.
31 years ago, I recall going for long walks in the Beach in Toronto. The air was cold, and it had been rainy and damp the week before we got married. I was happily in love with the man I had only met two months earlier. I was not looking for a relationship because I was content being single. I was lucky enough to be fearless enough to accept Alan as he was. I didn’t want to change a thing about him. Now, there are things I would love to see him change. LOL! Like to pay more attention to his health, and to live fearlessly, not to be afraid because it is when we lean into fearlessness, we become unstoppable and live a bigger life. We don’t know how much time we have left together, and it is important that fear does not stop us from living 10.
We had a whirlwind romance, filled with dates, dinners, and Chinese food ordered in and eating in it in front of the fireplace. His living room would smell like wood burning as we watched the Blue Jays playoffs in their first World Series win.
My then fiancé, Alan was into recording and creating his own music. He introduced me to Keith Richards and took me to see the Goldberg variations being played. He gave me a Keith Richards CD and a key to his house my first weekend at his house. I played the CD frequently when I was not visiting him in Toronto.
Hubby continues to enjoy music, and often recommends new music to me. Sadly, he no longer creates his own music. Some of the joy in his life is replaced with the stress of having to work in his 70’s.
A novel he wrote is waiting for him to set it free into the world. He is hesitant because he cannot bear to have it fail. I have been encouraging him too set it free because it is a fantastic novel. The hard part is done now he needs to be brave.
If I have learned any lesson in the 31 years together it is not to be afraid. We were once both fearless and got married after only knowing each other for two months, a much bigger risk than anything in our lives since.
We took a leap of faith as two crazy in love people and created a strong marriage lasting 3 decades, so far.
Alan, let that novel free so others can enjoy it! Make that my Anniversary gift.
I took Alan to Paris for his 41st Birthday. -
Buffy is a Fraud She Duped us all Accept it
Misrepresenting one’s Indigenous identity is ethically wrong.
The topic of this blog will give rise to a strong emotional reaction because we have been duped. We want to believe that Buffy Saint Marie is an Indigenous person, but we need to get some perspective. W5 started that process in their documentary on her Indigenous claim. At the end of the day What Buffy did is deplorable. Some comments on social media blame W5 for revealing the story Indeed I understand you are hurt. The documentary is good and it gives more information than Buffy was willing to offer. Buffy Sainte Marie, folk singer, has been discovered as a fraud of 60 years. I can understand how someone in their 20s might discover that being Indigenous can elevate their career. They then take full advantage of that.
However, Buffy’s fans’ comments on social media still respond as if she is Indigenous. They quickly question why we are fighting amongst ourselves. I understand it is difficult to accept we have been deceived. Understandably, we want to believe she is one of us. It is a 60 year old lie after all. Being Indigenous for me means functioning on a foundation of respect. It involves honoring authenticity and practicing reciprocity. These values exist in a natural law context, just as my ancestors have done for millennia.
Imposters identifying as an Indigenous person, or put another way “Pretendian,” does more harm than good. Calling them out must stop.
Why do some non-Indigenous people seek to identify themselves as Indigenous? Simply, they get something out of it that they wouldn’t have if they were non-Indigenous. Buffy is one of them. I understand that sometimes it could be as simple as an individual trying to fill a void within themselves. They may seek acceptance, belonging, and kinship. This is a basic human desire. However, for Buffy, she did it for her career advancement.
That said, what I cannot accept is that a person in her 80th refuses to come clean with the evidence. The evidence is overwhelming. It shows she is Italian and not Indigenous. Instead, she doubles down on the lie on social media. She does this with a tearful victim post a couple of days just prior to the W5 documentary airing. Remember she is an actor. Buffy is lacking in good character.
Throughout history some non-Indigenous people have self-identified as Indigenous. This is not a new phenomenon. I do take issue with someone who perpetuates a lie. They elevate themselves in an industry by assuming an Indigenous identity.
In Buffy’s case, I don’t believe she purposefully misled her fans. She did not mislead producers and us about being Indigenous in the beginning. I can give her the benefit of the doubt. But she never corrected the news stories describing her as Indigenous since the 1960s because she benefited from that lie. Sadly, assuming an Indigenous identity for notoriety is not new.
A famous historical example is Archibald (Archie) Bellaney, better known as Gray Owl. In more contemporary times, there was controversy. Author Joseph Boyden made ever-changing claims about being Indigenous. This was a heated topic in 2016.
The issue of identity begins as a personal matter. It satisfies a real need. I think in the early 60s, folk singer Buffy noticed that being described as an Indigenous musician increased her notoriety. She was considered a novelty. Buffy gained a lot by being identified as an Indigenous woman for over 60 years. She gained awards meant for Indigenous people. Even in Canada.
Indigenous peoples around the globe are standing up for their rights on constitutional matters. They are doing this in the era of Black Lives Matter. They have begun the process of reconciling colonial policies, like residential schools and the 60s scoop, with contemporary awareness. This is based on human rights. They are reframing our perspective through the lens of colonialism. To put it bluntly, the attempted cultural genocide of Indigenous peoples in Canada is reprehensible. Efforts to correct the damage are necessary. Impostors simply damage the cause.
Nevertheless, the issue of identity ceases to be purely personal when something tangible is at stake. This could include claiming an award intended for people who have been colonized and marginalized.
To that end, I have begun a conversation on how colonization continues to impact Indigenous people. I I produced and host a podcast, Empathic Witness on decolonization. A few months ago, I tried to contact Buffy. I wanted to have her on my podcast. I reached out through a mutual friend, who is a lawyer from Saskatchewan.
My podcast is on topics that include addictions. It is also about decolonizing the harmful effect of stigma. This involves creating a collective understanding by making clear linkages between colonialism, trauma, substance use, and addiction. It is just one issue where many Indigenous people must overcome. There are other areas where Indigenous people are overrepresented. This includes the penal system and the foster care system. These have an enormous negative impact on the lives of Indigenous peoples. The trauma resulting from these experiences is intergenerational,
Perhaps the criteria for self-identifying as Indigenous ought to be more difficult. But in an ideal world, people would behave with honour. We wouldn’t have to worry about people applying in categories created for Indigenous people. These categories are sometimes used by those who don’t qualify. It just wouldn’t happen.
If you are self-identifying as Indigenous, I urge you to reflect carefully on your reasons. This decision should be guided by your conscience when applying under an Indigenous category. Would Buffy have been on Sesame Street if she was not cast as the first Indigenous actor? I don’t think she would have. The awards you get should be returned. Shame on you Buffy!
The bottom line is taking what is not yours is not the Indigenous way. Ironically, it is exactly how colonizers behave.
When I met Buffy in the 80’s it was her celebrity status that inspired me to meet with her. If I knew she was Italian, I would not have agreed to met her.
In my view there are opportunists, who take an opportunity for themselves, to gain to something personally. And then there are people who genuinely admire Indigenous people. They see their self-identifying as Indigenous as a way to elevate and give back to Indigenous peoples. This is done in some manner in a spirit of solidarity. Which one is Buffy?
In the era of reconciliation, it is important first to be educated. We must reconcile the disparity between Indigenous and non-Indigenous. We should not take advantage of the opportunities intended for Indigenous peoples. The lines of “Indigenous” and “non-Indigenous” are being blurred more and more all the time. Fortunately, we are also getting better at uncovering the deception, of pretendians.
What has Buffy done for Indigenous peoples, other than showing an Indigenous person can become an award-winning actor and musician? But as it turns out she is not Indigenous which has been revealed on the recent W5 documentary. I feel sorry for Buffy. When she was a woman in her 20s, she got caught up in a lie. She could not get out of it without harming her celebrity status. As a woman in her 80s, she has nothing to lose but everything to gain by coming clean. As the saying goes the truth will set you free.
She knows her truth, and now, so do we. Like many of you, I love her music, she has talent. At the sametime she is a fraud.
I am Denesuline. I live on unceded Algonquin territory.
My mom, big brother Rossi, and me -
From Trauma To Triumph
My Friend , Late Harold Johnson I woke up in the middle of the night to a message that a niece is fighting for her life. I felt a mixture of feelings. Frustration, anger, and a profound sorrow upon hearing this news.
I wrote about a family member in 2016 who was fighting alcoholism. I have no misconceptions that my writing changes anybody’s mind to quit drinking. I may even get blowback from writing about it. I admit that I don’t understand it. I reluctantly write about it, in hopes that someone reading what I’ve written will reconsider their path . I admit I don’t know what it feels like to crave that drink despite one’s’ life hanging in the balance.
That said, I write because it is frustrating to lose people to alcoholism again and again. Alcoholism has plagued my family for as long as I can remember. The difficulty for me is watching helplessly while my family wage their personal battle with alcoholism which is sometimes won, in those instances a sigh of relief is unmistakeable, and the anniversary of sobriety is celebrated yearly. Because it means they got their life back.
Members of my family who are alcoholic I view with compassion and empathy There must be unbearable pain. I am not better than them.
What I do know is that it’s not a fight you take on alone. The truth is people are hurting and in pain. A pain that is hidden behind smiles and laughter. A supportive loving and compassionate system is the only chance to win this battle. It takes a community. family. friends. People who are not afraid to speak the difficult truth. Being there for them when they are weak. Being there to listen. And being there to say the hard truth while letting them know that their life holds value.
My niece is fighting for her life. She is demonstrating with her life the very real consequence of her choices. If, she makes it through, she is going to need support She is a bright intelligent woman, and mother. She has value.
As a society we must adjust our thinking on how we view alcohol. When a youth turns 18 society accepts it is ok to take them to a bar to get a taste of this seductive nectar. Recently I posted something on social media about a nephew partying the night before he passed. I received a comment saying he had not been drinking. however, I know for a fact that he enjoyed weed. When he came to visit me a year before he passed, we talked about how much he smoked weed. I pleaded with him to stop because he had a heart condition, and although he didn’t smoke cigarettes, I knew smoking weed could be just as damaging. We must stop making excuses, and normalizing social drinking and smoking weed, it is killing our people.
This is a difficult but necessary conversation. If a conversation is difficult, then it should be engaged in with as many people as possible. And you know what, it seems like it is never the perfect time the for a difficult conversation.
My late friend Harold R. Johnson wrote this about it in his book, Firewater – How Alcohol is killing My People (and Yours) I Feel compelled to write because, so few are speaking out about alcoholism. Our political leaders, our chiefs and councillors, the AFN, the Indian federations, the tribal council – all are silent.
Its impact on lives, particularly in First Nation communities, is well documented. I am convinced that there is no other place in Canada that feels the influence of addictions more fully than in a First Nation community. These communities are tight. Their hearts beat as one. The saying “all my relations” is not lost here because one quickly realizes how closely related everyone is. When misfortune befalls one family in the community, everyone feels the pain. More importantly, they will show up to support one another. That is one advantage I will always treasure being from Fort Chipeyan, my home community. There really is a true sense of belonging, inclusion. Sadly though, there is no escape from the cruel reality of addictions, it is everywhere. It breeds hopelessness. It permeates the social fabric and, it is unfortunately, intergenerational.
To be sure, it is not for a lack of knowledge that abusive drinking happens. There is already so much information about alcoholism in our communities. For example, that alcohol has both a seductive and destructive nature. It is sneaky like that. The belief is that drinking is started to forget pain and trauma, which works for a short period, but then it quickly becomes the problem. And then health will begin to decline, and relationships break down. Knowing this, why would anyone want to get started? Instead, it is viewed as fun, as “partying.” It enables people to “let off steam” and to “take the edge off.” It is seen as the activity that brings people together. People even brag about it and post their alcohol-fuelled escapades on social media. Even knowing the harmful nature of alcohol, some think nothing of inviting others to join in this tragic cycle of self-abuse. The hard truth is that others are taken down too. Like the saying goes “misery loves company.” Especially if they have the means to supply more alcohol, all the while knowing it is wrong but powerless against the allure of booze.
When tragedy strikes due to excess drinking, which it unfortunately and eventually will, its impact reverberates throughout a community like shockwaves. Mixed emotions stir under the dark blanket of grief. The shock leaves everyone unable to comprehend the incident. On some level there is a nagging sense that whatever tragedy happened was preventable. That fact makes any tragedy that much more incomprehensible. Understandably, the moment right after a tragedy never seems to be time to have a conversation about it, because that would dishonour the victims and bring an inappropriate sense of being judgmental. Emotions are raw as minds wrestle to comprehend a senseless tragedy. Hearts are broken, dreams shattered, never to come to pass. Because of the overwhelming grief that envelops everyone, there will always be some people who will then turn to drinking to dull the pain, because that is how they deal with pain. They may even raise a glass or bottle to the victim, at the grave, not seeing how ironic and empty the gesture is. The vicious cycle continues.
Still, wouldn’t this be an ideal time, the perfect time, to have that very conversation? If only because the incident illustrates so intensely the destructive choices made under the influence of alcohol while it is fresh and before it is swept out of sight. Because responding to tragedy must always be sobering, pun intended. at least at the initial moment of reaction.
Moreover, in small communities, when a tragedy has been caused by alcohol, people know what happened and they know why it happened. To be sure, everyone is thinking about it and talking about it behind closed doors in whispers, in hushed voices barely holding back assigning blame. Asking the question to themselves and those closest to them, why people are not talking about this together as a community? If there was ever a time to get together as a community, to perhaps reveal some hard truths, could this be the time?
That said, the reasons for all alcohol-related tragedies must be discussed openly and honestly in our communities, not with a sense of judgment or blame, but to ask the simple question: why? Why does it keep happening, even when we all know the dangers and the illusions that we create for ourselves, like the illusion that drinking to excess is partying, like the illusion that alcohol can help us with pain, like the illusion that the inevitable tragedy will happen to someone else.
Our people need to talk about these things. To do this is to honour those who lost their battle with addiction, not to blame them; to take something positive and good from their loss, not to condemn them. It sends a message to everyone in our communities that this issue is serious, and it is a problem we all share.
So, what is stopping our communities from having an honest dialogue on addictions? Education and awareness can lead to community solutions and healing. But this alone won’t stop it. What else needs to be done? Who in your community will see this as a call to action? Who is willing to show up for those who can’t? Don’t wait for someone else to do it because if not you, who then? If not now, when? Get back to the land and create a generation of sober people. break the cycle of addictions. Fight for sobriety.
Duane Desjarlais – Former member of (AIM) American Indian Movement 
Landbase teachings on traditional territory in Saskatchewan 
Teaching camp 2022 -
Reflection on Happiness
Tarcila from Peru Happiness is relative, and fleeting, but necessary for our body’s emotional and spiritual well-being no matter who we are and where we come from. The important thing to remember is that pure happiness lives within each of us. We need to cultivate and nurture happiness.
I am in the back with stripe shirt. I grew up in a home with no electricity or plumbing. by all accounts we were happy. Now, we have in our home a Japanese toto toilet, heated seat, every time I use it, I am reminded how far I’ve come. And that makes me happy. I have loss five of my brothers and one sister in 4 years, that makes me sad. Happiness is relative. Pun intended.
Happiness has different meanings for people.
me, as a baby in front of our log cabin that dad built. Thinking on this subject, I am struck by a memory of a workshop I facilitated for Indigenous women of the Americas in the Peruvian jungle. One evening, sitting by the fire, the women were talking about their communities and how difficult it was for them to make it to the workshop. They spoke about the hardships they are faced through laughter and beaming as they spoke about their children. Earlier that day, I teased that I should wear a t-shirt that said, “I’d Rather be a tourist” because clearly the facilities in the jungle are not the Hilton. Sitting among the women I felt ashamed for having said that, even in jest because it might of sounded like I didn’t appreciate their effort in preparing our accommodations which I did, the lovely Indigenous food by the fire was outstanding but the company was truly a learning exchange of cultures. Thinking back it was a happy experience.
12 commandments I learned to becoming happier, from people in developing countries whose concerns don’t have to include the basics of survival. This Peruvian example comes from one of the women at the workshop I attended.
American / Peruvian
1. Be yourself / 1. Be strong
2. Let it go. / 2. Be thankful with what you have
3. Act the way I want to feel. / 3. Accept that you can’t put yourself first
4. Do it now. / 4. Recognize your opportunities
5. Be polite and be fair. / 5. Be respectful but strong
6. Enjoy the process. / 6. Live in the moment / let each moment follow
7. Spend. / 7. Treasure what you have
8. Identify the problem. / 8. Identify the solutions
9. Lighten up. / 9. Laugh, and laugh some more
10. Do what ought to be done. / 10. Do what can be done
11. No calculation. / 11. Appraise risk12. There is only love. / 12. There is only you within a community.
Fun on the Ottawa River -
Change your Mindset and Be Happy
Into The woods A few years ago, in February 2018, I I went into the Ottawa Heart Institute for a stress test and didn’t leave until May . I suffered a stroke during surgery., and I was at Elizabeth Bruyère Rehabilitation Hospital in Ottawa for a few months for rehabilitation.
I acknowledge the amazing team of health professionals, doctors, physiotherapists, occupational therapists who contributed to my recovery.
A few weeks into my recovery, a nurse came to my room with the wheelchair. I was really excited to be able to roam around the halls of the stroke unit independently. One day, she came to my room and said, “I have good news and bad news, which do you want first?”
Being the eternal optimist, I said “the good news, please.” She started: “the physiotherapist says I need to return your wheelchair.”
“What!” I said, “NO, I want to keep it.” And she added “there are others who need it more, and the good news is you don’t need it anymore.”
I reluctantly said goodbye to my wheelchair, at the same time I was pleased to be moving on in my rehab, I went from my wheelchair to a walker, and then finally to walking with a cane. It took several months before I was walking without any aids. And it felt great that I had no need for it!
Unfortunately, during the winter of 2020 I twisted my knee slipping on ice and pulled my meniscus and I had to use a walker again, for a few weeks. It was a setback for sure because a torn ligament takes a while to heal.
It was then I realized I needed to make friends with my walker again. I found this minor change in my mindset helpful. I changed my attitude to it and began calling it my “assistant.” After all an assistant is there to help, right? This one helped me feel secure. It also carried my purse, and with the aid of a handicapped pass it allowed me premium parking spaces at stores. Eventually I was able to not rely on it, first in my home, and slowly when I was out in public.
On the Ottawa River With winter around the corner. In the coming months we may well experience significant doses of sadness, anxiety, and depression without the bright sun. But fear not Spring will come, but you have to go through winter first. lol
My journey since 2018 has been to shift my perspective and to see things from a more positive viewpoint. I believe it has helped me recover quicker, and I might add there is certainly no shame in accepting help. I viewed my “assistant” as a privilege.
Science shows us that establishing and maintaining routine can be a form of antidepressant, and perhaps introducing to your routine meditation as well as physical activity. If you haven’t already, will help you navigate through the coming months. As a long time, meditator, I can attest to these benefits of improved mental health, more energy, better sleep, and steady mood. Not to mention happiness and joyful bliss.
2020, 2021 has been like a wet blanket. I emphasize, your perspective makes all the difference in your world on how you will navigate the upcoming months. Be well. And don’t be afraid to call on your assistants! Whatever – or whoever – they may be. Over the summer of 2023 I have added to my protocol healthy nutritional eating, raw vegan. I never have to read the ingredients, because it is what I see, whole and healthy.
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From the Shores of the Ottawa River 
