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Sunday LIVING INTO THE FUTURE
Ottawa River Sunset Over the summer, a technique I learned about in a course was how to live into your future.
We started with setting a date we want to accomplish something, and then you reverse engineer what you hope to accomplish by that date backwards until you reach today’s date.
For example, my friend Wants an organic orchard on his land not too far for from here. He asked me how can he accomplish this using this method? I gave him these steps to follow.
- Create your team. His team is a horticulturist, seed supplier, and a friend who has an orchard near Niagara Falls. He needs at least six members on his team.
- Meet with the team assign tasks and a system for measuring accountability.
- Map what needs to be done each week until you reached the specific date of completion.
- Visualize walking through the orchard look at the details how does the soil underneath your shoes feel is there a scent on the trees. I always have problems with this type of exercise because I have aphantasia, which means I can’t visualize images in my mind, but I can experience the feeling I want. Our brain does not know what is real or imagined, what feeling does a walk through your orchard give you I asked him?
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Join Our Diverse Tribe: Fostering Engagement and Authenticity
OUT OF THE BOX ENGAGEMENT
In 2018 I created a group on Facebook named “We Belong”.
You may have wondered what is this group about, and what is the purpose of this group?
Thank you those who have joined me after I invited you, trusting me and accepting my invitation to join this group even when my intention for the group was less than clear.
The idea of this group came to me after listening to Author Radha Agrawal’s podcast about social connections, essentially, we as humans seek authentic social connections with others. We not only seek these connections it is important for our mental and physical health to have healthy relationships. Facebook, we have been led to believe would facilitate this connection. However, we started using it more artificially.
Furthermore, I have found that Facebook does not meet our need for this connection and a feeling of belonging, except when we get a DM. Social media is designed for more superficial entertainment use and to collect personal information. Instead of connecting us. It has created more isolation and dissatisfaction in our lives.
And more generally other social platforms have not found a way to engage each other instead we are having parallel conversations. Like ships passing each other in the night. I had a look at my friends and realized I have some awesome friends I have a tribe, I have a community and decided to bring them altogether in one place where we can design a community that works for us. My rational for creating a virtual community is due to my frustration of social media.
I am the administer of several groups. I use social platforms like twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. None of these platforms satisfy my need to connect. I find them superficial. Each of them ends up being pretty much the same as my personal Facebook page, in that people are not engaging with me on a deep authentic level. Perhaps they like a certain post but often will not contribute any more than a thumbs up. People post pictures, recap travel where they’ve gone, where they ate, and that is all good, but I’m looking for something more I am looking for serious conversations that are inspiring and thought provoking. Something more you.
For example, at dinner with a couple of friends our dinner conversation was electrifying and engaging. We discussed youth incarceration, restorative justice, the judicial system, and whether it was helpful in reforming criminals? The overcrowded penitentiaries and the impact of those on reforming criminals. We discussed healing lodge as a mechanism for reforming criminals who committed serious offenses. We discussed the cycle of alcohol on generations, how the youth are impacted by this trend. We discussed how youth are place in same prisons as harden adult criminals. Because once you were over the age of 18 you are treated as an adult and therefore will be placed with other adults. one of the examples discussed was how a stupid action while under the influence can change the trajectory of one’s life. We discussed how incarceration does very little to reform a person or even deter repeat offenders. The subject is serious and impacts our society. Of course, our conversation really didn’t resolve the questions, however you never know where such conversation will lead in the future as it percolates in the mind. Perhaps deep conversations like these can only happen face to face, but if we give this group a chance, I believe it can happen here as well.
The invitation Letter I sent to a few friends 6 years ago to join We Belong.
When I first started this group that each of you was carefully considered before I added you. I was looking for a compassionate person, an intellectual, a person with varied interest, a well-read person.I was looking for people who will make this group engaging, who would be authentic and have the highest integrity in their word and ensure that whatever they post will be inclusive and respectful. I believe each of you have some of these qualities. If I am correct in my assumption that you too are dissatisfied with your experience on social media, then I made the right choice to add you to this founding group.
What I would need from you is your word that you would be an active participant in the group. That you would be respectful, and kind in your responses. My promise to you is that I will facilitate and moderate the conversations and ensure that participants remain authentic, respectful, and helpful. I will ensure to keep this a safe place for sharing of ideas. Like the conversation over dinner last evening, we were able to discuss some very serious topic without it degrading to personal attacks but instead added value to the overall conversation.
Is this something you are interested and being part of? if yes, I am pleased to provide this forum for you. If not, – if this is too serious of a group, too intellectual, you can leave the group and I will not be offended. This is not for everyone. Because sometimes all we really want is to be entertained and there is nothing wrong with that.
I promised you is that I will facilitate, monitor conversations to ensure participants remain authentic and keep this a safe place for everyone. I have fulfilled my promise to the group, this is a safe place.
We can reset this group to realize my aspiration to feel connected. The key to it succeeding will be directly correlated to your participation! Which is why I carefully picked the first group of people keeping in mind how each of you will respond and to set the tone for the group. I value each one of you in the group and your opinion matters. I want to learn from you.
TOPICS can be introduced by anyone, provide a short synopsis with the question. Subject areas can be identified like health, books, neurology, philosophy, spiritual, psychology, relationships, food, medicine, culture, politics, religion you can introduce any subject if it is respectful and not offensive to anyone.
Racism and inciting hate will not be tolerated, and you will be requested to leave the group. I will make every effort to not control the dialogue, only facilitate and moderate.
I, honestly, I didn’t think of specific details of how this will work. I do know that I want to continue my daily meditation insights which I post on Instagram, twitter and sometimes my personal Facebook page. I have received feedback from many of you who have indicated you enjoy reading them. I see the insights as setting a tone for the group daily.
Having said the above, if you have any ideas of how this could work, how you want it to work, I welcome your remarks and we can design this with your input.
My intention is to create a community of like-minded people who are interested in having a real connection with each other. The goal is to meet our need for real social connections. We can work out the details as we go along. Now there are no hard and fast rules. The experiment was to see if we can override our automatic reactions and default reactions in response to what others post. Like distrusting others or being too shy to comment. Essentially, it is to create a new paradigm, a shift in how we relate on social media. This is a social experiment and I have no idea if it will work, or if this is the right platform, I am interested to see where it will go. If I find it is not working, I will let you know before I delete the group.
In my tribe we have CEO’s, lawyers, doctors. Artist, Indigenous elders, professors of law, and social work. Indigenous leaders, authors, people who participate at the UN on human rights. Students, Environmentalists, people who are concerned about the impact of our actions on the environment. And, in a word, game changers, innovators, thought provoker’s, some of you I known personally, and we connect on many levels, we have shared a meal, tea, and pleasant conversations. I like the idea of having you all meet each other for this experiment, and we will see where this leads us. Welcome to my tribe!
The first questions I posted to the group is if you oversaw the world what type of community you would create, keep in mind that this is a virtual community and now we have members from all over the globe. In this group, I hope that members would feel comfortable meeting each other in the real world. What would your values and goals be? Who would you invite? No one replied. It has been 6 years since I created this group, is it useful to you, or should I delete it?
Over the last six years I have posted on
- The weather
- loss and grief
- dementia and support
- Climate change
- I posted a link to my podcast to listen to conversations with ordinary inspiring people
- Happiness
- Sleep hygiene
- My Health
- Visitors
- Friends and family visiting
- Life on the river
Ottawa River -
THE FAMILY I CHOOSE
family picnic in an Edmonton park. The saying goes that we don’t pick our family, but we do pick our friends. I question that!
Sisters
L to RIGHT Dora, Rose, Liz, me, Mary, Annie 2016 Cahiron
Said another way, I believe that our soul, our true essence, picks the family we are meant to be born into and we decide how living within our family can help us to show up powerfully in life. You can be either a victim or a warrior. Further, I also believe I picked the best time to be born. I feel fortunate to be part of a family who shaped my character.
As Indigenous people, we are an extension of the natural world. There is a saying that we on some level pick the family we are born into from the spiritual realm before we are born. And I reflect on what being a Deranger teaches me. I am guided and inspired by my family and the lessons I am taught helps me move through life with grace.
As an Indigenous person, I believe that our genetic code and both the impacts of trauma and our challenges are transferred to us over seven generations. And in each generation we overcome weakness and learn lessons in this life. Which begs the question, why did I pick this family?
That said the study of astrology does point to something called cahiron, which are the lessons we are meant to learn in this life. Have you ever heard about an old soul; some people who appear to have lived many lives? The Buddhists believe we are reborn until we learn the answer to our suffering. It is our karma until the lesson is learnt.
Reasons
Taking this perspective as I do, gives me strength in how I respond to my life .
I chose the Deranger family. Instead of thinking it was random that I was born into this extraordinary family. Because it puts me in powerful position in that nothing in my life is done to me.
When I start from the position I choose everything in my life, even my family, means I don’t have room to blame anyone for how life treats me. I must learn from my experiences.
Background
Coming from a large Indigenous family, we were not wealthy in material things. However, we have something far greater, we have the guidance and protection of our ancestors. We have family who are caring, and lighthearted. My family taught me to be confident in my own skin.
Isidore Deranger my dad 1909-1992 Context
Deranger Family
My chosen family (of 16 children) in a Dene Indigenous family lived in Northern Saskatchewan before I was born. They lived in Uranium City (where I was born), then moved to Fort Chipewyan, and Fort Mcmurray in Alberta. In Fort Chipewyan we lived In a small hamlet without electricity or plumbing, with a mixed population of Dene, Cree, Métis, and people of European origin.
Let this sink in. I was raised with ten brothers, five sisters and our two parents in a one-room log cabin before we moved into a bigger house.
By and large it was a Roman Catholic household, but thankfully, my father Isidore was deeply rooted in our Denesuline culture of natural laws of nature. We are connected to our ancestral lands. My late brother Pat’s ashes were buried on our land, Denekizi. And the ashes of my late brother Roger, who passed on December 7, 2024 (incidentally my birthday) will be spread there this summer.
The final resting place of elder brother Pat Deranger (1951 – 2019). RIP The distinction between our worldview and that of the colonizers is the notion of good and evil, because within an Indigenous worldview there is no such thing as good or evil, heaven or hell, sin, or sinners. These do not exist in our reality. This is a Roman Catholic church construct designed to control their congregation.
Little me in front of our log cabin in Uranium City After all, we don’t ascribe sins to flowers, birds and other wildlife. The RC believes that a newborn is already a sinner, We exist like nature. in nature, and we are interconnected, and interdependent on one another. That is the Indigenous wouldview.
Recently my older brother Jimmy said, our culture is tied to the caribou, and our language. We were nomadic peoples. It is vital that we speak our Dene language, think first in Dene, he says. We Dene continue to utilize our traditional lands in all direction. And we always give offerings to the land and water.
When my ancestors hunted, fished or trapped they thanked the wildlife for giving their life for our food and we shared our food with our community. Our connection to the land is sacred.
The language we spoke at home is Chipewyan (Denesuline), a Dene dialect. My father was a hunter and trapper, and my mother made beautiful beaded Dene jackets, gloves, and moccasins for the family.
The last jacket my mom made for my son, Andrew There are no words to describe how I feel about this family, other than it is a blessing to be on this journey with my siblings and as one of the youngest, and the youngest female. I have always felt cherished and protected by my family.
I am truly blessed. There are a wealth of lessons to be learned growing up in a large Indigenous family of acceptance, compromise, and diplomacy, which led to me being tenacious with an unwavering spirit.
Our mother was a complex person. She was both firm but could be flexible. She was incredibly demanding and determined. But she was also generous, caring, and funny. Even though we had a full house she made room for other children who needed a safe place.
My mom, older brother Rossi (1957-2016) and me In turn, I stood for being the best daughter I could be for her, as I matured. I loved her unconditionally. Each time I thought of her, my heart would fill with pure joy and love for her. Even now 8 years after her passing I feel the love I have for her. I can honestly say that we’ve had an extraordinary relationship. I saw everything she did through the lense of my love for her and her love for all of us.
My mom’s likeness done by artist Margaret Ferraro. com 
My mom Therese Deranger (1919-2016) The lessons I learned from my Deranger family are
- Speak up when an injustice occurs — which is why my career was in Indigenous land claims.
- Love unconditionally
- Don’t be afraid to take risks
- Accept the knowledge link to our ancestors is strong and they are always close beside us helping and protecting us
- Remember the words of the elders
- Respect all living beings
- Show up in life, listen and be present
6 generations matriarch 
My oldest brother Peter (left) and my late brother Roger (right) (Denekizi) 
Our traditional land – home of Dene Kizi Academy Land based teachings 
Dene Kizi Academy 2022 
Future traditional knowledge keepers 
Mom and sons and other male descendants on her 90th birthday. -
Life peppered with Gratitude is a life worth living
On the Ottawa River on a friend’s boat Being happy means living your best life and not being afraid that others see it.
legends say that hummingbirds float free of time carrying our hopes for love, Joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, and every personal connection has meaning. laughter is life’s sweetest creation.
Being authentic, is not always the easy, Being happy means living my best life and not being afraid to let others see me.
Recently someone asked what I do. I responded I am a writer, a blogger she asked are you an influencer. I said no, I’m not an influencer, however I do have a blog and I am the host of Empathetic Witness Podcast with Angelina. If I inspire others to live their best life it makes me happy.
The moments of my life are not staged for social media. Gratitude highlights the positive in my life, and happiness is being present for those moments.
You, and only you, decide how you will react to situations either of your own doing or someone else’s actions. You decide how you will react . It is simple. Don’t make it complicated. If you want to be happy, you can be because you’re in charge of your feelings. all it takes is a change in perspective.
Some situations will take more effort on your part, like a muscle you need to exercise. Remind yourself when you notice your reaction can either hurt or give you peace and change the story.
For example, A regret I had years ago when I did not support a friend, and I felt she felt betrayed by my actions. I later called her to apologize. She understood why behaved as I did, and she said she was okay. A big-hearted response, and it changed my story of the event. I realized in that moment that it was my own perspective that was making me feel badly.
Being 100% authentic, may not always be the easiest route to take. I am grateful to have family who are not afraid to have a good belly laugh and live life not taking themselves too seriously.
My cousin 
My sisters! 
My sisters enjoying a joke! -
Navigating Life
Ottawa River I’m sharing something very personal, a challenging situation I have had most of my life, because I hope that both my struggles and my insights may be of use to you in your life, in some way. In fact, This by far, is the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever shared on a social media platform in the hopes that something about my journey will support you on yours.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a blog writer, podcaster, and the founder of a charitable foundation, seventhgift.ca I’ve held executive positions most of my career.
I had poliomyelitis (polio) as a child, shortly after I started walking. I know that a lot of folks might not know much about polio because it’s been nearly eradicated over the last 65 years. But as a child when I got hit with it, polio was one of the most feared diseases on the planet. You might even question, how I got polio when the polio vaccine was available before I was even born. I am Indigenous; and my parents lived in an Indigenous community. Need I say more?
In those years, polio was killing thousands of children worldwide every summer and paralyzing tens of thousands more. The numbers were in the millions.
We can celebrate that rates of polio have dropped phenomenally around the world since then. In recent years, there have been only a few hundred cases per year of polio in the entire world, mostly in 3rd world countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan.
I have no memory of the incident except what I’ve been told. One day I was paralyzed, and I couldn’t walk. And after a while, the feeling and movement began slowly to return. But the process of regaining use of my legs was slow, and only after many surgeries I was able to walk again.
In the 60’s and 70’s polio was treated by orthopedic doctors because there was little experience understanding that it affected the motor neurons in the spine. I was fitted with long braces on both legs, but eventually only need a short brace on my left leg.
When I entered adulthood, the prognosis was that I would never walk normally, or run due to weakness and discrepancy in my left leg.
After a partial stroke in 2018 I decided to update my brace. it had been over 20 years since I had a new one.
My stroke doctor, who I respect, referred me to an orthopedic specialist, who refused to give me a prescription for the type of brace I had as a child, one which allowed my ankle to move as I walked. She said that with the weakness in my left leg this brace was not suitable for me. When I allerted my specialist, he said he couldn’t do anything about it. He replied to my email when I brought it to his attention saying:
“This Dr. is my department’s expert in this field and you have been seeing her. I’m not passing the buck, but should not this be going to her?” “
She told me clearly, I will not give you a prescription for the brace you want. What was I to do? I felt defeated. Based on research and decades of experience dealing with my challenges, I was convinced that the current rigid brace she recommended would only create complications for me down the road, as I got older. My research showed that a movable ankle is necessary to lubricate joints in my leg, my knees, and my hips. We are not meant to be in a unmovable brace, it is not natural. In 2023 there must be braces that are supportive and yet allow for some natural movement.
I saw my GP, who fortunately understood what I was asking for and, he provided a prescription for a hybrid brace, a mix of a rigid and movable ankle. The process took me two years and now I have exactly the brace I wanted and needed (see the photo). Indeed, I have captured some independence, I feel as though I’ve got my life back to some degree. I recently saw a professional who confirmed that my hip joints were stiff and not rotating in a natural way. I need to mitigate further damage in my hips, and I believe this brace in part is how to do that.
Developing Post-Polio Syndrome (PPS)
Poliovirus Then and Now
I developed post-polio syndrome, or (PPS) when I was 32, and to that point I had not heard the term despite living so many years with polio. You may never have heard of post-polio syndrome, either, and this is true of most physicians too. A significant percentage of the people who got polio and survived, and particularly those who worked extra hard to achieve things despite having been stricken with the disease, have suffered later in their lives from this condition. To add to the complication of PPS, I suffered a partial stroke during surgery in 2018. I have trouble walking; it is not clear how much is related to stroke or the PPS.
The medical literature says this about PPS. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371137/
It affects between 25–40% of polio survivors. And unlike polio itself, PPS is not contagious. But PPS is serious. Parts of the body that regain movement after being paralyzed by the original polio can again become paralyzed.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-polio-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355669
Nearly all polio survivors who develop PPS do so within 15–40 years after their initial polio. When I first noticed symptoms, I was told it was age related and that everybody loses muscle strength. I was 32.
I’m doing the best I can with it, including getting as much exercise as I possibly can, which is a challenge when your legs don’t work well and you worry about falls. I believe in doing all I can with what I’ve got. And, of course I’m doing everything I can that might help me to retain as much quality of life as possible, which is why I fought to get the brace I knew I needed to give me quality of life.
I’m listening, in every moment that I can, for what I can learn and what I can love on this journey. In fact, when I start to feel depressed or start to feel sorry for myself, I will often think about Viktor Frankl and what he endured, and yet he came out on the other side whole . Or I’ll recall some of the things I love. Not just the things I like — that just wouldn’t be enough to shift my energy. But the things and the people I truly love. Like music, reading, writing, and having a purposeful life.
I’m going to be honest. was not all sunshine and roses, especially having to work hard against conventional “expert” medical thinking to get a brace I knew would make my life better. What I have learnt is no matter the challenges, one must look first to give meaning to it, and then move into action to improve their situation. As an Indigenous person I am carried on the backs of my ancestors.
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WE ARE NOT GARBAGE; SOMEONE KNOWS SOMETHING And CHOOSES TO REMAIN SILENT
In this blog are my thoughts on the matter of Missing and Murdered Indigenous women in Canada. (MMIW) Caution: reading this blog may be triggering to some.
My intention for writing this blog Is to motivate and inspire you, the reader to want to make a difference in this matter. You might think, how can I make a difference? I have some suggestions below on how you can help. Don’t disappoint me, please. Comment if this topic makes you think or do you remain indifferent.
First, I am an Indigenous woman from northern Alberta. If I went missing, I am confident my family would be concerned and would look for me. Not because I am educated, and a contributing member of society who pays taxes, but because I am a human being, and I matter!
My point is it shouldn’t matter if I were a drug addict, homeless and or earning a six figure income for people to care if get murdered.
My Connection to two victims
I imagine, because of the large number of missing and murdered Indigenous women, there must be several people in Canada who have been touched by either knowing someone who is missing or knowing of someone who is related to someone who is missing or has been murdered.
It is interesting being that I am from a small hamlet of less than 1500 people, and I know TWO Indigenous women who were murdered. A childhood friend first went missing, and then was found murdered in the United States. She was my classmate at Holy Angels Residential school in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. I remember Sandra as a young girl with a beautiful smile. She was smart too. Years later, I had heard she made some questionable choices in her young life. One summer, she made a fatal mistake. She decided to go hitchhiking into the United States and was not heard from again.
Much later, her family received a call from the RCMP with devastating news that was delivered by phone, not even in person. The officer described how her body was dismembered and disposed of in garbage bags. Her DNA sample was the only way she was identified. Her killer is a person who picked her up and gave her a ride and was never convicted of her murder. Sandra was only 24 years old.
Ms. Amber Tuccaro, whose killer’s voice was heard on a chilling cell phone recording linked above is just one piece in a RCMP investigation, was also from my community, and was the daughter of my older brother’s classmate. We owe it as a society to care and to take some sort of collective action. I challenge everyone reading this blog post to do something. Write the PM’s office and demand he does something about the missing and murdered Canadian Indigenous women and girls. At the very least, share this blog on your social media. Do not underestimate the power you have to make a difference.
If we remain silent, our collective inaction speaks volumes about who we are as a society. The message this sends is loud and clear to me and perhaps to the murderers living freely among us, that Canadian Indigenous women and young girls can be raped, killed, and disposed of like garbage. When did our society become so indifferent to the violence against Indigenous women and girls? That is a rhetorical question because since colonization very little value has been placed upon an Indigenous person’s life.
It must STOP. Where is the outrage?? We need answers! They were human beings, members of our society. We should have protected these Indigenous women.
Sadly, we continue to hear stories of the discovery of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in 2023 and it will continue until we change our attitude about Indigenous women .
Are you interested enough to ask the questions?
- Who is doing this to the Canadian Indigenous women and girls?
- How many murderers are walking among us?
- Where are the bodies of these women and girls? If nothing else, we need to put them to rest by finding the bodies and bringing them back to their families for a proper respectful burial.
- How can you help
Consider if someone is murdering women and girls it could be someone you know. Even more of a concern, since this is not an isolated or regional matter, and is happening across Canada. There could be many murderers among us. Many Indigenous women have disappeared on the trail of tears highway in BC.
Recently Canadian serial killer Paul Bernardo has been in the news because he was transferred to a medium security prison. I remember in the 90’s, at least 3 people knew it was Bernardo who was raping and murdering teenage girls. These were Caucasian girls.
It makes me angry that as recent as this week an Indigenous young woman’s body was discovered in a landfill, discarded, like garbage. It is incomprehensible the outrage is only coming from Indigenous communities. It reinforces the belief that there is little value in an Indigenous woman’s life. Am I wrong?
Amber’s dismembered body was found in a ditch in Alberta the summer of 2012, Over 20 years ago, two years after she went missing. RCMP are appealing to the public to identify the voice in a recorded call from a cell phone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mEeyd1sF6g Her murderer was never found.
A woman’s body was recovered from Winnipeg’s landfill on Monday July 17, 2023, the second in 10 months, with more believed to be buried.
The landfill is currently closed as police continue to investigate after 33-year-old Linda Beardy’s body was discovered at the beginning of the week. It should never be reopened as a landfill. “It should be turned into a memorial site because we know that there is more,” it was reported to CBC Manitoba Information Radio host Marcy Markusa on Thursday. In the context of this society bodies of murdered Indigenous women will be dumped if not this land fill, in other places where it would be as difficult to discover.
The truth is I am at a loss. I realize anger doesn’t help but is it enough to motivate you the reader to do something? What would it take to see a modicum of emotion and compassion about these girls and women from you? Well, to be fair, I do believe you care, how could you not care. However, I am not as sure that the enormity of the situation is really appreciated. Until you have personally experienced a loved one murdered you cannot fully understand the anger, the grief, bargaining and acceptance. Let’s say I was able to reach you and you ask the question what can you do? The first thing you can do is get on social media with the hashtag Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women #MMIW. Share this blog with your network encourage them to get on social media with the hashtag #MMIW.
The question remains, where are they? The conservative numbers of missing and murdered women is over 5,000. If your family member disappeared, what would you do to bring awareness.
What Next?Mr. Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, does it matter how many more must be reported missing or found pulled from dump sites, having been murdered? The Prime Minister has many priorities, but this must be one of them. The conversation around the discovery in a Manitoba landfill is disgusting, it is about the cost and manpower to continue searching the landfill, so they gave up leaving the enormous task to the Indigenous people. Sadly, I can’t be convinced it were a Settler, a non-Indigenous woman the conversation would be on cost. Nonindigenous women would be concerned that a murder is out there. They would organize themselves so they would be protected and safe. I am afraid the truth is there is virtually no value placed on an Indigenous woman’s life.
Why are the Prime Minister of Canada (PM), Royal Canadian mounted police (RCMP) desensitized to the plight of the surviving families, the parents, the siblings, and the friends of the Indigenous women who have disappeared or been found murdered?
Remember the Pickton murders in BC? Police were informed there may be a serial killer preying on indigenous women from Vancouver’s lower East Side. These concerns fell on deaf ears. It begs the question can Indigenous bodys be more dishonoured, in a landfill or given to pigs to be eaten so the evidence is destroyed. Both are equally disrespectful. Let’s not forget the Gladue case in Alberta. Thankfully, in that case the murder was charged.
In 2014, the Canadian premiers unanimously supported the request for an inquiry. Finding the body of Ms. Tina Fontaine had renewed the call to Mr. Harper then Prime Minister of Canada to call for an inquiry. Still, he remains steadfast against it.
An incomplete list of women and girls who have vanished or been murdered
RCMP Report Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women
Dr. Sarah Hunt What Should Be Done
Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada
Sign the Liberal’s petition calling for a Federal inquiry into Missing and Murdered women
http://youtu.be/dBPo9FgRBj4 Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women in Canada video by grade 11 students.
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The Ugliness Of Social Media
At times, you need to wait to see clearly. Ottawa River affected by forest fires in Quebec It doesn’t matter to me what you believe about politics, religion, or vaccines, or if you are gay, single, or bisexual. I won’t hate you if we disagree. If we’re friends or family, I will look past our differences and look at what we have in common. At the end of the day I can choose to ignore your comments if you don’t agree with me, and get on with my life. You’re free to do the same. So what if you hurt my feelings?
Indeed I might get upset by something you said, but not enough to go to the extreme of disowning you. It has been done to me and I saw it it as an overreaction and it didn’t require the same reaction from me. I won’t play that game. Honestly I tried to get back the relationship, especially with family, (you know who you are). I am human after all, and I have feelings. But, I have moved on.
That said, if I feel you’re open-minded and mature enough to have a debate, I might debate with you. The truth is that no matter what our differences might be, I won’t take your opinion personally because it has nothing to do with me, even if your comments are directed at me. It is merely your opinion. and you have a right to it.
In the wake of the implosion of the Titanic submarine a few weeks ago, social media was flooded with personal opinions. There have been numerous comments on the tragedy and the fallout on social media was swift. Many people have unfriended each other based on what these comments meant to them. To be sure, there were some ugly comments in the news feeds. Emotions were volatile. By and large people held very strong opposing opinions. Mean things were written, and shared widely, largely to people who didn’t even know each other.
I was disappointed to discover even Indigenous peoples joined in the negative conversation. It was mixed with the notion of colonization and the disdain for the uber rich. Many Indigenous peoples see through the lense of colonization. Even celebrations like July 1, or Thanksgiving can seem negative when seen through this lense.
Personally I can separate colonization from the rich throwing caution to the wind to explore. Let’s not forget people died. However, I am thankful there are people brave enough to explore vast oceans, as long as they don’t upset the ecosystem. They are human too and it was their choice. Exploration creates a bigger world, and new discoveries .
Which begs the question, is social media making us inflexible and stupid? Are we becoming more egocentric, in that we believe our opinion matters and is paramount? I think, yes, we are and yes, we most certainly seem to be.
Social media gives us a false sense of courage, and ironically our anonymity online makes us feel important. The fact is that because we are not face to face, looking into the eyes of a person, that we have the courage to espouse our unfiltered and sometime knee jerk reactions to something we have read online . Often without knowing the context, but this can be an act of cowardliness. Furthermore, often we are not held responsible for the fallout that ensues after certain comments are posted. We can simply disappear from the conversation or troll silently following the discussion thread, feeling self-important, and right.
If I were to worry if someone won’t like what I blog about I might never blog at all. I urge you not to give up, exercise your creative outlet to blog.
I give pause when commenting on something I know little about. This is particularly true if I am commenting on something that has struck an emotional cord. Sometimes, I will read something online and say to myself, “OMG!” “idiot”, “Does that person not fact check”, “WTF!”, etc. then, I write a critical and judgmental comment. But I have trained myself to pause and decide whether to delete my comment because my opinion on social media to virtual strangers in the greater scheme of things, does not matter! I say to myself: is it worth my energy to continue?
I like that humanity is culturally diverse with varying points of view. I can’t imagine what this world would look like if everyone thought like me. Well, I can, and it would be awesome!
Overall, if you want a simpler life and keep your blood pressure down, don’t take everything you read on social media as a personal affront to your character, integrity, morals, or ethics. The more you let go of your ego, the freer you are and the less of a jerk you become. And if you are tempted to lash out in haste, it is very therapeutic to write exactly how you are feeling. But take a deep breath and then delete it or share it with a trusted friend. Maybe it will bring you a different perspective!
The foregoing was my opinion and hopefully it was not an affront to anyone who reads it.
Six generations of Indigenous women who never lost themselves on social media. -
Inner Peace is in You
Discover Inner Peace 2022 March 13
It was after reading a friend’s Facebook page post it prompted me to write this blog post. Paul is a mediator and his words helped me focus on this piece. Thank you for your wisdom, Paul.
My garden Inner peace comes from a relationship that is based on acceptance, intimacy, and curiosity. Like a garden we need to weed out what does not serve us, and cultivate beauty, resilience,and strength. Sometimes this requires a change in perspective.
The late Zen Master, Thich Hanh Often wrote that peace should not be possessed, it should be a catalyst to help others suffering to discover peace.
As a long time, meditator, I am comfortable exploring my feelings in meditation. To know yourself more fully, explore with wonder each layer of who you are. My meditation practice became a lifeline after a brain injury a few years ago.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with left side neglect ((ischaemic right brain stroke during surgery, which meant at first , my brain could not recognize objects on my left side. I approached my brain injury with curiosity.
This injury led me to change my diet and empowered me to respond to a new version of who I am. I spent many hours researching the brain, reading, and listening to podcasts on neurology.
My first thought was not why me, but how interesting is it that our brain works like this. I was really intrigued. It was not easy but I persevered, and made peace with what happened by understanding what happened in my brain. One can always reconcile a negative event with a positive perspective. It helps the process to have the right question or statements of inquiry that will lead you to peace.
There is no right or wrong way of discovery. You’ll know it when it happens. I have found the key to peace is acceptance. Paul added the following steps, It is not verbatim. Meditate on these statements; to create a new perspective.
- I create my reality (trust). This perspective becomes available once we are aware of cause and effect.
- I am choosing what is happening (trust). Seeing ourselves as being endlessly creative.
- I welcome what is here (accepting our current experience).
- Appreciating physical sensations (intimacy). Appreciating the physical sensations in our body right now invigorates and increases the intensity of what we are experiencing. Think about eating your favorite food. When we slow down and taste each bite we feel more.
- I am the entirety of what I am experiencing (intimacy). What I am experiencing is creating the sense of me.
- Viewing life as being connect to all. (Cause and effect.,we are all connected) A flower does not exist without rain,sun and wind.
- I don’t know what I’m experiencing (Curiosity). Letting go of all ideas and labels about what it is we are experiencing. Looking at life as if we were a newborn baby seeing things for the first time. (wonder)
- I don’t know what I am. Creates space for possibilities.
- I experience a sense of excitement about what is about to happen next. Discovery of endless possibilities.
Discovering your way to a peace is not easy, we all have our own pain, sorrows, and fears. Give yourself time and space to embrace and recognize how you’re suffering. Be compassionate and gentle when,Starting an inquiry to self. However, remember there’s no right or wrong way to do this.
My meditation space/sauna -
Luezan Tue called Our Name
My family were environmentalists well before the term became popularized.
We are Denesuline people, from Northern Saskatchewan. We are strong, proud. Stewards, of Mother Earth. We take this responsibility seriously.
In the 70’s our dad answered the call of the land, and took his older children, to our traditional hunting lands. They hadn’t been back there for over 40 Decades until last summer of 2021. This is my dad’s legacy.
He answered the calling of the traditional lands, Luezan Tue, and inspired four generations to return to Djeskelni. He passed his baton to the next generation. He reaffirmed our sacred connection to the land. Everyone he took back to the land were transformed and carries the calling deep within their spirit.
In August, 2021, a small group of about of 17 family members went back to our land, organized by my nephew, Donald Deranger, who had gone there with Baba in the 1970s. They went to spread my late brother Patrick’s ashes around the lake to fulfill his last wish.It is clear to me that Patrick’s death facilitated a renewed interest back to our traditional land. The family answered the calling to return to the land. It is difficult to deny how powerful this spiritual calling is.
FAMILY MISSION
- Increase the quality of life for seven generations by building upon our rich Denesuline traditional heritage based on being stewards of the land, lending a helping hand, and create business ventures to generate profits and financial independence. Our family embodies Dene cultural tradition the pillars of which is respect, and to honour the teachings of our ancestors.
My family, like most Indigenous families, is complicated, affected by intergenerational trauma of colonialism, and residential school.
We have sometimes temporarily lost sight of family, our connection to each other and the spirit of our traditional lands. We are easily triggered and often will cut off one another from our life.
That said, I adore my Dene family, dysfunctions and all.
I read somewhere when you change the beginning of your story it changes the end of the story.
After I wrote this blog piece I went back and changed the beginning of our story.
I remain hopeful for the next seven generations. That they will continue to answer the call of our traditional lands. I see renewed interest in some of my nephews and nieces. The calling is strong in them, and I am hopeful.
Family Dene Camp 2021 
Djeskelni Bech’anie Decheny’ah Camp, on the south shore of Luezan Tue within the southwest region of the Etthen Edeli dialect region, about 40 miles south of Tu Cho, 
3 generations, my nephew Donald Deranger, his son, and grandchild. 
Sand dunes on our traditional lands 
Older sisters preparing wild meat from our land for the feast. 
Brother-in-law John Mercredi (not at the camp) when you listen closely to Dene drum you hear the heartbeat of the land. Acknowledgment
My brother, Roger for keeping traditional prophecies of the Denesuline alive.
My nephew Donald Deranger for holding the baton for the next generations, and last, but so important, my late brother Patrick, a sacred pipe holder for passing the baton to his daughter when he gave her the sacred responsibility and honour of spreading his ashes on our traditional land.
Patrick Deranger -
2022 striding into the new year with eyes wide open
My intention in 2022 is not about losing weight although I could stand to lose a few pounds, it is not about exercising more. I could do more of that too.
My intention, my goal for 2022 is to not live small, to show up in life because my actions matter and the people in my life deserve to see the very best version of myself, Which is to show up in service to indigenous peoples struggling with addressing their trauma.
The next Being a Leader course starts in January 2022. If your interested in creating the best life for yourself connect with Tanyss Munro tanyssmunro@gmail.com 2022 I will continue my journey of growth and transformation, particularly as it pertains to my foundation Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training. (G.I.F.T) I’m really excited To be part of a group of extraordinary humans on the foundation. Our vision has capabilities to be a game changer in the delivery of services to indigenous communities across Alberta.
First, I am excited to confirm renowned physician and expert on trauma Dr. Gabor Mate has agreed to support GIFT foundation in the capacity as advisor to our curriculum writers. secondly, we start the new year by inviting additional board members who hold expertise in the areas of psychology, sociology,, law, and curriculum development.
My late dad, Isidore and older brother Fred Deranger -
January 1, 2022!
Living on the river shore is captivating, every day there is something phenomenal happening on the river, the neighbors made a ice rink over the weekend. -
30 years In Love
When you know, you know!
“I’m on my way, it’s you I turn to
How many days have I to love you
I got to say this is inside me
I’ve got to have someone to guide me
Hate it when you leave, hate it when you leave
Hate it when you’re leaving me– Keith RichardsEvery year I write on our anniversary about how this whirlwind courtship resulted in marriage only two months after our first date. Did our friends and family think we were crazy? Absolutely! One such friend recently remarked wow, you guys made it! The first gift Alan gave me was a Keith Richards CD. I played it daily. We had a long distance relationship, and playing Keith made me feel closer to him
Today, I write about the lessons in 30 years of marriage to this incredible man, Alan Pratt has taught me.
The following scratches the surface of the magic that is my life with this incredibly soulmate that I am privileged to call my husband. He is my touchstone. We have an amazing son, Andrew who I see has inherit his character, dry sense of humor and brilliance.
Early in the marriage I learned acceptance and patience. I recall feeling insecure at times. especially when I found my husband had a wandering eye, for ladies in short skirts. However, I never doubted or felt insecure about my intelligence, and who I was as a woman.
Before I got married, I was an independent single parent, owned my home, drove a Mercedes, and had a great position doing meaningful work that I loved, and I had no debt. And I had traveled to exotic parts of the world Australia, Paris, Hawaii, Jakarta to name a few. I enjoyed the finer things in life. Frankly, at the time of our first encounter at a law conference in Ottawa I was not looking for a relationship. I enjoyed my independence. I was fiercely independent with a strong will to match.
- The first lesson I learned is when you know in your heart you have met your soulmate there is no reason to wait. It is quite possible I fell in love with him the first afternoon we met, and that love deepened over dinner a few months later. He was charming, funny, kind, caring, witty, and a good conversationalist.
- I could always count on him for his perspective and advice. He is not a jock but makes up for that with his intelligence and compassion.
- On our honeymoon to Venezuela, I discovered that he is not a planner, he did not make reservations for dinner on New Year’s Eve, and we spent the evening walking around as fireworks created havoc around us. I didn’t mind being the planer for special occasions.
- He does not cook but doesn’t mind cleaning up after dinner, in fact he doesn’t mind doing the dirty work, like cleaning up puppy vomit or poop, these things never bothered him, I on the other hand couldn’t.
- He is a hard worker and patient; he spends his days looking for fresh legal approach on files that take decades to resolve. He has a skill diffusing conflict.
- But he avoids personal confrontation, and I discovered when and how to bring up a difficult matter.
- He is sensitive and his mind goes to the worst scenarios, and that he is being attacked. I learned early in the marriage that it was cruel to jump into my car and drive away when we had an argument because he thought I wouldn’t come back.
- I have learned to let the small stuff go and look at the bigger picture, he said to me at the beginning of the marriage during an argument I should get perspective and it stuck with me. I don’t remember what the argument was about, and it doesn’t matter.
- My most noteworthy discovery is I never was inclined to change anything about him because he is quite literally the man of my dreams, A wild man with sensitivity, authenticity, and integrity. Here is to the next 30 years
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You Can chose The Life You Want
October 5 A new day! You are under no obligation to be who you were five years ago – Alan Watts
I follow through when I start something. But there are times when I have changed my mind. I like when I Moved on from a job, and a fiancé, in fact, I sold my condo and moved to a different province. It did not mean I failed.
According to natural law, events happen as they are meant to happen, so we can learn from our experiences. When we view our experiences as learning steps it is never a failure. When couples break up one will question, what in the relationship was real? But in retrospect, one could view the relationship as a learning experience. What did the relationship teach us, and what positive elements can we take from the relationship. Both the teaching and the positive aspects of the relationship can improve our next relationship when we learn from it. This applies to anything, business, education, and friendships. Often, we will stay in the same relationship whether it is a business or personal relationship because of the fear of the unknown, or we feel comfortable, but that is not a good reason to stay In the place that does not bring you joy.
The truth is, there will be another relationship, another, opportunity. As we evolve and grow from experience, we will discover happiness and joy, because along the way we figure out what works best for us, and we chose to not settle for mediocrity. We are complex humans. Indeed, because something is expected of you doesn’t mean you are stuck with it. Ask the question what is the message?
Perhaps the message is you are growing evolving, and it may be time to make new choices, it is not giving up, or quitting it is pivoting as you continue your journey in a different direction. Nothing stays the same, we have 40 trillion cells in our body, we are not the same person we were years ago. It makes no sense to hold onto something you said you were going to do at 20 years old. Understand there will be times when you need to make space for something new, demand for yourself, happiness, and joy by living life to the fullest and don’t be afraid of change.
Ottawa River with Indigenous architect Douglas Cardinal, me and son, Andrew Pratt 
water feature at office -
TOWN BOUND
It is Almost 30 years Since he went into the Spirit World. I visualize him walking down Franklin Avenue in Fort McMurray, Alberta. Thirty years, seems as though it was yesterday.
My dad as a young boy Memory of him is etched in my mind. Imagery that stirs precise emotions within me. I see my dad, Baba, is what we called him. He was a warm, generous and a wise man. He loved going for walks. He was a hunter and trapper. He didn’t speak English, just Denesuline, our traditional language.
He was a man of medium build; his movements gave the impression of true strength and confidence. Head held high. His hair thick, cut very short and was snow white. His eyes, clear, dancing, thoughtful. Steady was his stride, not too fast and not too slow, with his hands firmly held behind his back he walked.What might he be thinking as he is walking along in this city?
Might he be thinking, how the afternoon summer sun feels hot, and the slight breeze feels soothing?
Might be he remembering, years earlier in another in simpler times when he took some of his younger children to Holy Angels Residential school playground. Taking them there to play on the swings and to read at the priest’s house in the summer? He had nineteen children, sixteen surviving. He had ten sons and six daughters, and grandchildren who he raised along with his own. He never attended residential school.
Might he be thinking how easy it was to make his children happy by just taking them for a walk on the dusty gravel road in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta in Doghead. Back in the day in the early 70s very few if any cars whizzing by, but he might hear in the distance the trotting of hoofbeats that he knew belonged to Leo, the waterman’s horses. Perhaps if it were a Monday, Wednesday, or a Friday he might have heard the PWA jet overhead. Might he be thinking, as he walked silently, his children softly murmuring and laughing amongst themselves that his life just could not get any more perfect.Might he be thinking of a time and place where his spirit was truly free. (Luezan Tué) where the birds singing, and wildlife are so near you can hear them in the bushes?
Our Traditional lands, Caswell Lake in Saskatchewan Perhaps he was thinking about how clear the water is that you can see the huge trout swimming in lake? Where he could hear the sound of waves gently rolling in and see the forming of small indentations on the perfectly white beautiful sand dunes, which was as inviting as any sandy beaches of distant tropical lands. In the distance the sound of the loons, which provides him useful information about the activity around the lake. The sky a bright blue and peppered with cumulus clouds.
Simply beautiful. A time never forgotten.
My dad and brother Fred 
Algar Towers While he enjoyed the warmth of the sun, feeling the cool afternoon breeze, what might he be thinking?
Is he remembering sitting by an open fire, enjoying fresh brewed mint tea, and freshly made Bannock, as he listened to stories told by his old friend Doc Holiday? Is he recalling that he too told some of his own stories, surely his were more outrageous, and yes, he knows they were. Indeed, he was a great storyteller. He was also a very cultural man who lived in harmony with nature. He never gossips or said a bad word about anyone.
What might he be thinking while he walked in the hot summer heat?
Perhaps, about the perfect little log house he built out of nearby trees for his family in Doghead. And how when he entered the porch, he had to struggle with the many pelts hanging overhead drying. Those days before the BC Bennett Dam diminished the water and emptied the marshes, when trapping provided a generous bounty for the community.
As soon as he entered warm air from the wood stove hits his face and the smell of cooking stirred up the hunger he had been suppressing. Someone would shout: “Close the door!” and he wrangled with all the shoes and boots in his way, but he finally gets the door shut. He looked for a place to put the results from a successful trip to the trapline. You know, he was a good trapper and provided well for all these children and often had enough to share with the community. Might he have been thinking how good it felt being in the warmth and security of home with his wife and family after days out on the cold trapline? Could life be more perfect!“Town bound”, he would say.
What might he be thinking, as he walked down Franklin Avenue In Fort McMurray that hot summer afternoon?
Had he been thinking of how things are changing so quickly? Changes that he knew were coming, but, worried that they may not all be good. Was he thinking about the future for his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren? Was he thinking, if there was one thing, he could teach them would be that they should strive to be happy, kind, educated, and good strong Dene. Perhaps most of all to accept the simple things in life, like being completely content knowing that you’ve done your best.
But if truth be told, I believe he was walking in silent meditation being one with the environment, being present. To know him, is to know that he was an integral part of nature and was the happiest when in his element. His element was anywhere he was. He was at home anywhere. A man who was a strong silent type. A man of few words. Ironically, when you caught him in the mood for storytelling, you better be prepared to stay awhile.
He was a good man our Baba, Isidore Deranger Denesuline Nene. (Djeskelni) (Deranger) We never knew his exact birth date, but he was baptized when he was already a teenager in 1909, and went to the spirit world in -1992 -
Honoring our Love
A cross was installed for my late brother, Patrick in August 2021,
The pandemic has given rise to more funerals than normal, and we know ceremonies are crucial. It helps us process the departed as we go through our levels of grief.
Unfortunately, due to COVID I have not physically attended any funerals, it is sad because the ritual of funerals and showing up is the best way to show your support and honor your loved one.
The key to honoring is to give meaning to the life lived. I blogged about family members who have passed, and I write to honor and give meaning to their life.
The process is different for every family. In my family we have put together a slideshow with favorite music. For my brother Patrick, we honored his last wish to have his ashes scattered on our traditional lands, we sang an honor song, had a feast, and told stories around a fire. It is important to mourn. The funeral ritual assists in that mourning.
When I first moved to Ottawa a friend passed, the family held one day of visitation at the funeral home and the next day, she was buried. I had never experienced that before, and it felt weird.
In my family we hold a three-day wake, we prayed around the clock with the body present, and on the fourth day a burial, after the burial we have a feast. The three days of wake I am sure is influence by Catholicism. In my Denesuline tradition the church has infiltrated so deep that most of us cannot separate the nonindigenous rituals with our traditional ritual for the deceased.
Public displays of grief near the body were discouraged in my family because our indigenous belief is that the spirit is still connected to this realm after death, and we believe that loud hysterical crying keeps the spirit tethered to this world longer than necessary hindering it from its journey into the spirit world. In the Denesuline tradition we hold the belief that our ancestors show us the way in the spirit world, and death is a natural process and part of life.
Did you know historically the family of the deceased would give funeral gifts to people who attended the funeral. By and large they were practical items, like rings, gloves and men were given scarves that were sewn into their jacket lining. The culture was very much to honor the dead and theses gifts would serve as a living memorial and a remembrance of the loved after the funeral. I think this is a tender Idea. -
There is a Crack in Everything, that is How the Light Gets In
Funeral for our nephew, James Desjarlais 
My son, Andrew a with a Gift from the Dene in Northern Alberta There is a Crack in Everything, that is How the Light Gets In
The pandemic of COVID 19 has brought us some joy and some sorrow.
Because of this pain many people accessed their creativity, I founded a charitable foundation, seventhgift.ca (G.I.F.T.) for Indigenous people in Canada to address trauma.
We can reframe the sorrow we experience in a beautiful way to serve others, like the mother who lost her child in a drunk driving accident who created an international foundation Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. (MADD) The bittersweet gift is to see both the pain and the beauty.
Each loss brings with it a distinct emotion. Recently, I heard of a friend’s pancreatic cancer diagnosis. This news is tough because I know in months or maybe in a year this beautiful soul will be on a journey into the spirit world. I received similar news from another friend, a former assistant who called me to tell me of her terminal illness a few months before her passing. In both cases I was touched by their willingness to share this personal information with me. I felt their sacredness and the weight of their words, and it touched my soul. I wanted to be a witness for them as they transition in their last journey and to give meaning to them telling me.
Facing one’s own death is I can only imagine is overwhelming. I believe the first instinct for most people is to keep the news to themselves. When they revealed this to you, it is a message from their soul to yours. How do we embrace this experience?
I had a conversation with my older brother, Freddy several weeks ago. When he called, I asked him how he was doing, he said “I was experiencing some health issues, but I’m okay now”. I told him our oldest brother, Peter seems to be experiencing some health issues as well, and I was concerned about him because he lives alone. Freddy said, don’t worry about us you’ll understand when you get there. I wasn’t sure what he meant, and I asked where I am going? He laughed and said you are quite a bit younger than us older folks, we, get aches and pains we can’t do the things we used to, that is part of life, don’t worry. When our time comes, just let us go. I said I don’t want to let you guys go. I want you guys to live forever. He laughed. In a strange way this conversation with my brother does help me process life which is part of nature and temporary.
Indigenous peoples understand that all life has an expiration date, and when the time comes. we should go gracefully into the spirit world. No one knows what happens when we die. It is respect for our ancestors that we believe they are waiting for us and will celebrate, with a huge feast and a drum dance to welcome us.
This is like Buddhist philosophy, only in Buddhism there is a thought that we live many lives.
As I reflect on family and friends who went into the spirit world during the pandemic, I came to realize that for a meaningful life we need to be mindful of our interactions with one another, put our iPhone away, give the person we’re with your complete attention, touch their hand and feel the connection.
Make every moment count. If you ever met a person who makes you feel whole and complete, and understood. You can be that person for everyone you meet. This is called living a purposeful life. Every moment is a mindful action.
Living in this manner you will have no regrets because all your interactions will have a sacredness, a connection to another’s soul.
Speaking of regrets, since the recent loss of ten family members and a couple of friends I made a conscientious effort to clean up my behaviour with relatives. If I couldn’t reach them on the phone, I send them an e-mail taking responsibility for my behaviour and I would like to repair our relationship. That said, in part it is not only for me that I do this, but it is so they too are not left with any regrets about our relationship.
Please if you are in an estranged or difficult relationship with family or a friend that you reach out to express your desire to improve your relationship, apologize if you must for your behavior and clearly express how your behavior has impacted on your life and their life, and make a promise to be better friends.
On our traditional lands Isn’t our deepest desire to have amazing loving relationships? It can be done no matter how complicated. Recently I picked up the phone and called a friend who I had a complicated relationship with and apologized for being not a good friend. I explained how I felt this impacted my life and, in their life, for one because we were not speaking to each other I wasn’t there for her, and she wasn’t here for me when I lost many family members. She was incredibly gracious; truth be told more gracious than I would have been if the situation was reversed. We picked up where we left off before the incident as though nothing had happened, our relationship is complete. This is the gift we gave each other, seamlessly weaving our complicated relationship with a renewed purpose and love.
To capture the knowledge my friend has we will be developing a new course through the Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training.
The objective is for students to explore and examine holistic knowledge and perspective on afterlife . The course structure will be reflective and provide direction towards research and study on different indigenous worldviews from a variety of indigenous cultures .
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Excited about Life?
The summer my sister Mary came to visit and we hung out, a few years ago! August 13, 2022, I am having fun thinking, about how to improve my podcast Empathetic witness I am listening to other podcasts with the intention of noticing what works for them, in this process I am learning. In the last couple years, I have found a few of things, a Charitable foundation I created, seventhgift.ca my podcast, and my blog on Word press.
I am passionate about these things, and it gets me up in the morning feeling excited about my day. The key is to look for something that involves being of service to others, and for a greater cause.
A couple years ago feeling frustration about social media and wanting a deeper connection with “friends” on several social media platforms and I created the private group on Facebook as an experiment. The idea was to see if I can gently nudge people to interact on a deeper level.
Two years into this experiment I am pleased to notice more interaction on a deeper level not just liking post but comments that engage one another. the best are open-ended questions.
what is your experience with social media, are you satisfied with the interaction you are experiencing?
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Call to Adventure
Maggie, Daniel, Nantan Margaret Ann MacNeill (nee Deranger) 1974 – October 23, 2021
A CALL TO ADVENTURE
Acording to her natal chart, she continue to help others, going where angels fear to tread, listening, and providing advice.
I wrote this piece shortly after her passing. As a blogger writing about a loved one who has recently passed is for me difficult but necessary. It helps me process and keep them alive. Yesterday, August 6th, my family Celebrated her life. I write thoughtfully, and respectfully. I don’t put it off too long because in our Denesuline culture, we believe that the dearly departed travel to visit the people they loved over three days, after their body is separated from their soul, their spirit embarks on an adventure to visit. I feel her close as I write this, like she is guiding my heart and my hand. I hope what I write will come across and people will feel her close to them as they read this too. I made sure in honour and respect her and to call her by the name by which she wanted to be known, as Maggie. Most of us family in Canada knew her as Margaret Ann. I totally get it, because when I moved away from home, I also chose to be called by my second name, Angelina. She was quick to accept that.
Maggie was a free spirit and answered a call to adventure early in her life. Fear of the unknown never did discourage her. Over 20 years ago with her young son Christopher, she accepted the call to adventure to move to a new country, and a whole new career overnight. Well, it would seem to those of us left behind that it was spontaneous but I’m certain she thought carefully about her decision to move, considered the consequences, and decided to embark on the adventure of a lifetime, into the unknown, on the other side of the world.
She never let what others thought of her hold her back. I loved that about her. She was spirited, in other words determined I loved that about her too. She was athletic and loved sports. In high school she joined the rowing club.
When she left Canada for Australia, she joined the South Australian police force in Murray Bridge. I remember her telling me it was physically grueling, and about an incident when a male police officer broke her nose during a training exercise. She believed that he did it on purpose. But that didn’t stop her. She kept going and graduated from the Academy.
She had determination and when she wanted to do something she got it done. She didn’t do anything in half measures. Maggie loved completely. I loved her sense of humour and could listen to her laughter for hours. She had a soft spot for animals, often taking in dogs. When for a time, she worked as a by-law officer, I remember her sending me pictures of snakes and other animals that I was petrified to receive. She would just laugh and say: “Nah they won’t hurt ya.”
She graced our life in Fort McMurray, Alberta in the summer of 1974, then a small northern oil company town. As a young child she was feisty. She was very close to her cousins, and particularly my daughter, growing up together. Their relationship was like siblings. They fought, and then they made up.
Regularly, they even dressed up in similar outfits, like twins. Because I lived with her parents, after I moved away, they spent many holidays together when I went home. They continued to be in close communication right up until Maggie’s passing this weekend.
The small town of Fort McMurray could not contain her for too long. She was meant to share her brightness in the world with others. She made fast friends wherever she went, a beam of light in darkness. She led the way for others. By her gregarious nature we were never left questioning her true loving intention for us. She loved deeply and completely, and we all felt it deeply.
She was kind, thoughtful and compassionate. Our schedules meant that we often talked early in the morning, in my time. In one of our early morning calls she asked me if I read a book she was reading. She knew I was a meditator and followed Buddhism. I said, absolutely, I have it right here on my shelf. She couldn’t believe we both had the same book. And we shared a laugh together. I think it made us feel closer to be holding the same book title.
Her young life had to end so tragically and abruptly. It is a challenge to grasp, why a beautiful soul would be taken from us. I thought we would have so many more conversations, and laughter. We all do because we avoid the elephant in the room and seldom talk about death. When Maggie and I ended our calls, she always said she loved me, and I would tell her I loved her more.
What gives me solace in this tragedy is knowing she lived life on her own terms to the end, and she embraced her adventures fully with enthusiasm. The last time I saw her in person was in Melbourne in 2008 when we went to the movie Australia shortly after it was released. She invited me to this movie even though she had already by that time had seen it three times, but she wanted to experience it with me. After the movie when we talked on the phone, she would say “I sing you to me. Which meant come visit me, from the movie.
I am very sad; at the same time, I have a desire to give meaning to her death. It’s difficult when someone passes and there is regret, things unsaid. Her death is a poignant reminder to all of us of the fragility of life and how suddenly it can end. There is no guarantee that we will have an opportunity to fix relationships that have gone off course. Since her passing I have had a couple of conversations with people and have implored them to repair their relationships with people still walking this journey with us. I hope my words aren’t falling on deaf ears.
Maggie, you made the world brighter for everyone who knew you I promise to be available to your sons to help guide them when they ask and if they need someone to be a compassionate listener, I will be there for them. I am so proud to be your aunt, you have made me proud by your accomplishments, your integrity, and your authenticity. Until we meet again forever in my heart.
Competition! 
Norma Jean & Maggie 
Maggie and her mom, my sister Mary 
Maggie and her sister Tracy -
Unstoppable Confidence
Painting by my brother Roger We live in a world where anything is possible! I listened to David Nurse in a podcast. He is a best-selling author, speaker, and coach to NBA players as a former professional basketball player. He talks about the psychology of being the very best is to be in integrity with who you say you are.
1. When we tie our self-worth to our results, we limit ourselves: things like tests, job interviews, how much money we make, the kind of house we live in, the car we drive, and if they don’t measure up to what we believe is success we lose confidence in our ability, because we tie it to what we make it says about us, but it does not have to define us. Results are not who you we are,
2. Self-awareness in who we are, what we stand for, is what defines us.
3. Confidence is knowing that even if things don’t turn out, you’re going to be OK. I ascribe to the thought when one door closes four doors open. All my experiences, including failures, are bringing me to opportunities for a fulfilling life, leading me to what I am ultimately meant to do.
4. If something is not working out, pivot, try something different. Changing directions is not failure.
5. Redefine the context of the meaning of words. Quitting could mean it is not working for you now, but maybe later it will. Challenge yourself. Venture out of your comfort zone and don’t worry what people think of what you’re doing.
Let go of life you thought you should live, to live the life you are meant to live. – Joseph Campbell
Sunrise In my life, I have been a hairstylist, a teacher, a manager of land claims and researchers, the Executive assistant to a National Chief, (AFN) Assembly. First Nations Human Resource Manager, podcast host and producer, founder of a Charitable Foundation and a writer. I work in land claims on legal issues correcting injustices against Indigenous peoples, and in addictions. I get the most gratification from doing work for a cause, such as my podcast and foundation.
I don’t know what else I’ll be doing next , but I am confident I will continue to grow and expand my knowledge. I will continue to not see failure as an obstacle but as an opportunity and challenge. The word pivot comes to mind, to change direction.
I ask myself three questions to reflect on how well I am doing in the previous month and if my actions are aligned with my image of who I hold myself to be.
· Big or small, what did I accomplish, even if it was a challenge?
· No matter big or small, who did something for me?
· No matter how big or small, who did I do something for?
Over the summer I enrolled in a course at university of Alberta, and in the first test I was multitasking and received a mark of 35%! that surprised me! Then I looked at my notes. I barely took any. I had to take better notes and did. My next test I received a grade of 75%, and the next one after that 99%. I changed my notes and it worked. I got better grades and kept going.
I noticed a growth mindset leads to opportunity and success, but that means we must put in what you want to get out of it, if you put in 100%, you’ll reap 100%. I didn’t let the first grade lower my confidence; I knew it was the result of the little effort I put into my initial work. If you tie your confidence to results, it leaves you with nothing but feeling like a failure and often spirals downward onto unhappiness and funk. We are in this loop we use our emotional state to change your mental state and vice versa mindset and behaviour are powerful in creating the reality we desire.
I will tell you another story.
1. I stand to empower people.
2. My word is my bond.
Dene Youth Drumming 6. Making time in my day for fun, to laugh, and be present.
7. Creating the life, I want with a plan and with my actions.
8. My gratitude, my joy is foundational to my life.
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Farewell to A Dene/ Cree Warrior
Horse 
James and his brother, Joe Goodbye to a warrior! James Desjarlais July 26 1980- August 2 2022
If you had the good pleasure of meeting my nephew, James Desjarlais (Horse) you would have met an amazing, kindhearted man. He loved meeting new people and was accepting of all people. He enjoyed learning a few words in the language of the people he met. He could say greetings in at in at least a dozen different languages.
He was his mom, Rose’s protector, the baby of the family.
Early in the new year, when his mother was in the St Paul’s hospital in Vancouver recovering from COVID he visited her daily, bringing her a rose each time. A nurse I talked to said, I don’t know how James gets through security because he is not vaccinated, they wouldn’t allow him on the ICU floor, but somehow, he made it to the ICU and gave a rose to the nurse to give to his mom.
He was in a group of young youth involved in the Native Youth Movement (NYM), an activist group started with his brothers to raise awareness of Indigenous youth on the streets. In the 90s, James was a very sharp dresser. It was as if he stepped out of a GQ magazine. As his addiction took a toll on him, it became more challenging for him to buy nice clothes. He had a strong work ethic and wasn’t afraid of hard labor.
Horse, Joe, his mom Rose, niece and nephew. Winter, and Ohosis In June of this year, he went to the traditional lands of our family.
It was hoped that this experience would heal him of his addiction. He was happy being there with his family. He decided he wanted to go to treatment for his addiction and his mother, my sister Rose, drove him back to BC, to the treatment center in Kamloops. Sadly, he was turned away. And now he is gone.
As is the case when we lose a loved one tragically and unexpectedly, we reflect on their life. I counseled my sister to not go down the road of wondering would he still be here if she had done this or that differently. James’s life had meaning and purpose. He loved and was loved.
As a writer, I have written too many stories of extraordinary people who have left us way too soon, and I search to look for meaning in their life. For James I don’t have to look too far, he brought laughter and love to everyone he met, a gentle teddy bear of a man, with a smile that you had to return.
When he began his journey into the spirit world his loyal puppy,Cobalio a Shepherd wolf cross stayed with him until his mother came to get him. “Horse” will be remembered by his brothers, son, and mom and also many cousins, aunts, uncles, and nieces. His memory will be cherished.
Aunty loved you James, and I am grateful you visited me one summer in my little piece of paradise. God speed James. You were a beautiful soul. My face is wet, and my eyes glistened like stars in the night sky. You walked softly on mother earth, gentle and loving, now you are our guardian angel, and we will feel you near when we need you most. I am making a commitment in your memory to continue the work in the charitable Foundation I created to help people with addictions: Seventhgift.cahttps://seventhgift.ca/
Ride into the spirit world, Your ancestors will greet you. 
On the way to our Traditional lands 2022
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From the Shores of the Ottawa River 
