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Join Our Diverse Tribe: Fostering Engagement and Authenticity
OUT OF THE BOX ENGAGEMENT
In 2018 I created a group on Facebook named “We Belong”.
You may have wondered what is this group about, and what is the purpose of this group?
Thank you those who have joined me after I invited you, trusting me and accepting my invitation to join this group even when my intention for the group was less than clear.
The idea of this group came to me after listening to Author Radha Agrawal’s podcast about social connections, essentially, we as humans seek authentic social connections with others. We not only seek these connections it is important for our mental and physical health to have healthy relationships. Facebook, we have been led to believe would facilitate this connection. However, we started using it more artificially.
Furthermore, I have found that Facebook does not meet our need for this connection and a feeling of belonging, except when we get a DM. Social media is designed for more superficial entertainment use and to collect personal information. Instead of connecting us. It has created more isolation and dissatisfaction in our lives.
And more generally other social platforms have not found a way to engage each other instead we are having parallel conversations. Like ships passing each other in the night. I had a look at my friends and realized I have some awesome friends I have a tribe, I have a community and decided to bring them altogether in one place where we can design a community that works for us. My rational for creating a virtual community is due to my frustration of social media.
I am the administer of several groups. I use social platforms like twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. None of these platforms satisfy my need to connect. I find them superficial. Each of them ends up being pretty much the same as my personal Facebook page, in that people are not engaging with me on a deep authentic level. Perhaps they like a certain post but often will not contribute any more than a thumbs up. People post pictures, recap travel where they’ve gone, where they ate, and that is all good, but I’m looking for something more I am looking for serious conversations that are inspiring and thought provoking. Something more you.
For example, at dinner with a couple of friends our dinner conversation was electrifying and engaging. We discussed youth incarceration, restorative justice, the judicial system, and whether it was helpful in reforming criminals? The overcrowded penitentiaries and the impact of those on reforming criminals. We discussed healing lodge as a mechanism for reforming criminals who committed serious offenses. We discussed the cycle of alcohol on generations, how the youth are impacted by this trend. We discussed how youth are place in same prisons as harden adult criminals. Because once you were over the age of 18 you are treated as an adult and therefore will be placed with other adults. one of the examples discussed was how a stupid action while under the influence can change the trajectory of one’s life. We discussed how incarceration does very little to reform a person or even deter repeat offenders. The subject is serious and impacts our society. Of course, our conversation really didn’t resolve the questions, however you never know where such conversation will lead in the future as it percolates in the mind. Perhaps deep conversations like these can only happen face to face, but if we give this group a chance, I believe it can happen here as well.
The invitation Letter I sent to a few friends 6 years ago to join We Belong.
When I first started this group that each of you was carefully considered before I added you. I was looking for a compassionate person, an intellectual, a person with varied interest, a well-read person.I was looking for people who will make this group engaging, who would be authentic and have the highest integrity in their word and ensure that whatever they post will be inclusive and respectful. I believe each of you have some of these qualities. If I am correct in my assumption that you too are dissatisfied with your experience on social media, then I made the right choice to add you to this founding group.
What I would need from you is your word that you would be an active participant in the group. That you would be respectful, and kind in your responses. My promise to you is that I will facilitate and moderate the conversations and ensure that participants remain authentic, respectful, and helpful. I will ensure to keep this a safe place for sharing of ideas. Like the conversation over dinner last evening, we were able to discuss some very serious topic without it degrading to personal attacks but instead added value to the overall conversation.
Is this something you are interested and being part of? if yes, I am pleased to provide this forum for you. If not, – if this is too serious of a group, too intellectual, you can leave the group and I will not be offended. This is not for everyone. Because sometimes all we really want is to be entertained and there is nothing wrong with that.
I promised you is that I will facilitate, monitor conversations to ensure participants remain authentic and keep this a safe place for everyone. I have fulfilled my promise to the group, this is a safe place.
We can reset this group to realize my aspiration to feel connected. The key to it succeeding will be directly correlated to your participation! Which is why I carefully picked the first group of people keeping in mind how each of you will respond and to set the tone for the group. I value each one of you in the group and your opinion matters. I want to learn from you.
TOPICS can be introduced by anyone, provide a short synopsis with the question. Subject areas can be identified like health, books, neurology, philosophy, spiritual, psychology, relationships, food, medicine, culture, politics, religion you can introduce any subject if it is respectful and not offensive to anyone.
Racism and inciting hate will not be tolerated, and you will be requested to leave the group. I will make every effort to not control the dialogue, only facilitate and moderate.
I, honestly, I didn’t think of specific details of how this will work. I do know that I want to continue my daily meditation insights which I post on Instagram, twitter and sometimes my personal Facebook page. I have received feedback from many of you who have indicated you enjoy reading them. I see the insights as setting a tone for the group daily.
Having said the above, if you have any ideas of how this could work, how you want it to work, I welcome your remarks and we can design this with your input.
My intention is to create a community of like-minded people who are interested in having a real connection with each other. The goal is to meet our need for real social connections. We can work out the details as we go along. Now there are no hard and fast rules. The experiment was to see if we can override our automatic reactions and default reactions in response to what others post. Like distrusting others or being too shy to comment. Essentially, it is to create a new paradigm, a shift in how we relate on social media. This is a social experiment and I have no idea if it will work, or if this is the right platform, I am interested to see where it will go. If I find it is not working, I will let you know before I delete the group.
In my tribe we have CEO’s, lawyers, doctors. Artist, Indigenous elders, professors of law, and social work. Indigenous leaders, authors, people who participate at the UN on human rights. Students, Environmentalists, people who are concerned about the impact of our actions on the environment. And, in a word, game changers, innovators, thought provoker’s, some of you I known personally, and we connect on many levels, we have shared a meal, tea, and pleasant conversations. I like the idea of having you all meet each other for this experiment, and we will see where this leads us. Welcome to my tribe!
The first questions I posted to the group is if you oversaw the world what type of community you would create, keep in mind that this is a virtual community and now we have members from all over the globe. In this group, I hope that members would feel comfortable meeting each other in the real world. What would your values and goals be? Who would you invite? No one replied. It has been 6 years since I created this group, is it useful to you, or should I delete it?
Over the last six years I have posted on
- The weather
- loss and grief
- dementia and support
- Climate change
- I posted a link to my podcast to listen to conversations with ordinary inspiring people
- Happiness
- Sleep hygiene
- My Health
- Visitors
- Friends and family visiting
- Life on the river
Ottawa River -
THE FAMILY I CHOOSE
family picnic in an Edmonton park. The saying goes that we don’t pick our family, but we do pick our friends. I question that!
Sisters
L to RIGHT Dora, Rose, Liz, me, Mary, Annie 2016 Cahiron
Said another way, I believe that our soul, our true essence, picks the family we are meant to be born into and we decide how living within our family can help us to show up powerfully in life. You can be either a victim or a warrior. Further, I also believe I picked the best time to be born. I feel fortunate to be part of a family who shaped my character.
As Indigenous people, we are an extension of the natural world. There is a saying that we on some level pick the family we are born into from the spiritual realm before we are born. And I reflect on what being a Deranger teaches me. I am guided and inspired by my family and the lessons I am taught helps me move through life with grace.
As an Indigenous person, I believe that our genetic code and both the impacts of trauma and our challenges are transferred to us over seven generations. And in each generation we overcome weakness and learn lessons in this life. Which begs the question, why did I pick this family?
That said the study of astrology does point to something called cahiron, which are the lessons we are meant to learn in this life. Have you ever heard about an old soul; some people who appear to have lived many lives? The Buddhists believe we are reborn until we learn the answer to our suffering. It is our karma until the lesson is learnt.
Reasons
Taking this perspective as I do, gives me strength in how I respond to my life .
I chose the Deranger family. Instead of thinking it was random that I was born into this extraordinary family. Because it puts me in powerful position in that nothing in my life is done to me.
When I start from the position I choose everything in my life, even my family, means I don’t have room to blame anyone for how life treats me. I must learn from my experiences.
Background
Coming from a large Indigenous family, we were not wealthy in material things. However, we have something far greater, we have the guidance and protection of our ancestors. We have family who are caring, and lighthearted. My family taught me to be confident in my own skin.
Isidore Deranger my dad 1909-1992 Context
Deranger Family
My chosen family (of 16 children) in a Dene Indigenous family lived in Northern Saskatchewan before I was born. They lived in Uranium City (where I was born), then moved to Fort Chipewyan, and Fort Mcmurray in Alberta. In Fort Chipewyan we lived In a small hamlet without electricity or plumbing, with a mixed population of Dene, Cree, Métis, and people of European origin.
Let this sink in. I was raised with ten brothers, five sisters and our two parents in a one-room log cabin before we moved into a bigger house.
By and large it was a Roman Catholic household, but thankfully, my father Isidore was deeply rooted in our Denesuline culture of natural laws of nature. We are connected to our ancestral lands. My late brother Pat’s ashes were buried on our land, Denekizi. And the ashes of my late brother Roger, who passed on December 7, 2024 (incidentally my birthday) will be spread there this summer.
The final resting place of elder brother Pat Deranger (1951 – 2019). RIP The distinction between our worldview and that of the colonizers is the notion of good and evil, because within an Indigenous worldview there is no such thing as good or evil, heaven or hell, sin, or sinners. These do not exist in our reality. This is a Roman Catholic church construct designed to control their congregation.
Little me in front of our log cabin in Uranium City After all, we don’t ascribe sins to flowers, birds and other wildlife. The RC believes that a newborn is already a sinner, We exist like nature. in nature, and we are interconnected, and interdependent on one another. That is the Indigenous wouldview.
Recently my older brother Jimmy said, our culture is tied to the caribou, and our language. We were nomadic peoples. It is vital that we speak our Dene language, think first in Dene, he says. We Dene continue to utilize our traditional lands in all direction. And we always give offerings to the land and water.
When my ancestors hunted, fished or trapped they thanked the wildlife for giving their life for our food and we shared our food with our community. Our connection to the land is sacred.
The language we spoke at home is Chipewyan (Denesuline), a Dene dialect. My father was a hunter and trapper, and my mother made beautiful beaded Dene jackets, gloves, and moccasins for the family.
The last jacket my mom made for my son, Andrew There are no words to describe how I feel about this family, other than it is a blessing to be on this journey with my siblings and as one of the youngest, and the youngest female. I have always felt cherished and protected by my family.
I am truly blessed. There are a wealth of lessons to be learned growing up in a large Indigenous family of acceptance, compromise, and diplomacy, which led to me being tenacious with an unwavering spirit.
Our mother was a complex person. She was both firm but could be flexible. She was incredibly demanding and determined. But she was also generous, caring, and funny. Even though we had a full house she made room for other children who needed a safe place.
My mom, older brother Rossi (1957-2016) and me In turn, I stood for being the best daughter I could be for her, as I matured. I loved her unconditionally. Each time I thought of her, my heart would fill with pure joy and love for her. Even now 8 years after her passing I feel the love I have for her. I can honestly say that we’ve had an extraordinary relationship. I saw everything she did through the lense of my love for her and her love for all of us.
My mom’s likeness done by artist Margaret Ferraro. com 
My mom Therese Deranger (1919-2016) The lessons I learned from my Deranger family are
- Speak up when an injustice occurs — which is why my career was in Indigenous land claims.
- Love unconditionally
- Don’t be afraid to take risks
- Accept the knowledge link to our ancestors is strong and they are always close beside us helping and protecting us
- Remember the words of the elders
- Respect all living beings
- Show up in life, listen and be present
6 generations matriarch 
My oldest brother Peter (left) and my late brother Roger (right) (Denekizi) 
Our traditional land – home of Dene Kizi Academy Land based teachings 
Dene Kizi Academy 2022 
Future traditional knowledge keepers 
Mom and sons and other male descendants on her 90th birthday. -
Life peppered with Gratitude is a life worth living
On the Ottawa River on a friend’s boat Being happy means living your best life and not being afraid that others see it.
legends say that hummingbirds float free of time carrying our hopes for love, Joy and celebration. The hummingbird’s delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, and every personal connection has meaning. laughter is life’s sweetest creation.
Being authentic, is not always the easy, Being happy means living my best life and not being afraid to let others see me.
Recently someone asked what I do. I responded I am a writer, a blogger she asked are you an influencer. I said no, I’m not an influencer, however I do have a blog and I am the host of Empathetic Witness Podcast with Angelina. If I inspire others to live their best life it makes me happy.
The moments of my life are not staged for social media. Gratitude highlights the positive in my life, and happiness is being present for those moments.
You, and only you, decide how you will react to situations either of your own doing or someone else’s actions. You decide how you will react . It is simple. Don’t make it complicated. If you want to be happy, you can be because you’re in charge of your feelings. all it takes is a change in perspective.
Some situations will take more effort on your part, like a muscle you need to exercise. Remind yourself when you notice your reaction can either hurt or give you peace and change the story.
For example, A regret I had years ago when I did not support a friend, and I felt she felt betrayed by my actions. I later called her to apologize. She understood why behaved as I did, and she said she was okay. A big-hearted response, and it changed my story of the event. I realized in that moment that it was my own perspective that was making me feel badly.
Being 100% authentic, may not always be the easiest route to take. I am grateful to have family who are not afraid to have a good belly laugh and live life not taking themselves too seriously.
My cousin 
My sisters! 
My sisters enjoying a joke! -
Navigating Life
Ottawa River I’m sharing something very personal, a challenging situation I have had most of my life, because I hope that both my struggles and my insights may be of use to you in your life, in some way. In fact, This by far, is the most vulnerable thing I’ve ever shared on a social media platform in the hopes that something about my journey will support you on yours.
For those of you who don’t know, I am a blog writer, podcaster, and the founder of a charitable foundation, seventhgift.ca I’ve held executive positions most of my career.
I had poliomyelitis (polio) as a child, shortly after I started walking. I know that a lot of folks might not know much about polio because it’s been nearly eradicated over the last 65 years. But as a child when I got hit with it, polio was one of the most feared diseases on the planet. You might even question, how I got polio when the polio vaccine was available before I was even born. I am Indigenous; and my parents lived in an Indigenous community. Need I say more?
In those years, polio was killing thousands of children worldwide every summer and paralyzing tens of thousands more. The numbers were in the millions.
We can celebrate that rates of polio have dropped phenomenally around the world since then. In recent years, there have been only a few hundred cases per year of polio in the entire world, mostly in 3rd world countries like Pakistan and Afghanistan.
I have no memory of the incident except what I’ve been told. One day I was paralyzed, and I couldn’t walk. And after a while, the feeling and movement began slowly to return. But the process of regaining use of my legs was slow, and only after many surgeries I was able to walk again.
In the 60’s and 70’s polio was treated by orthopedic doctors because there was little experience understanding that it affected the motor neurons in the spine. I was fitted with long braces on both legs, but eventually only need a short brace on my left leg.
When I entered adulthood, the prognosis was that I would never walk normally, or run due to weakness and discrepancy in my left leg.
After a partial stroke in 2018 I decided to update my brace. it had been over 20 years since I had a new one.
My stroke doctor, who I respect, referred me to an orthopedic specialist, who refused to give me a prescription for the type of brace I had as a child, one which allowed my ankle to move as I walked. She said that with the weakness in my left leg this brace was not suitable for me. When I allerted my specialist, he said he couldn’t do anything about it. He replied to my email when I brought it to his attention saying:
“This Dr. is my department’s expert in this field and you have been seeing her. I’m not passing the buck, but should not this be going to her?” “
She told me clearly, I will not give you a prescription for the brace you want. What was I to do? I felt defeated. Based on research and decades of experience dealing with my challenges, I was convinced that the current rigid brace she recommended would only create complications for me down the road, as I got older. My research showed that a movable ankle is necessary to lubricate joints in my leg, my knees, and my hips. We are not meant to be in a unmovable brace, it is not natural. In 2023 there must be braces that are supportive and yet allow for some natural movement.
I saw my GP, who fortunately understood what I was asking for and, he provided a prescription for a hybrid brace, a mix of a rigid and movable ankle. The process took me two years and now I have exactly the brace I wanted and needed (see the photo). Indeed, I have captured some independence, I feel as though I’ve got my life back to some degree. I recently saw a professional who confirmed that my hip joints were stiff and not rotating in a natural way. I need to mitigate further damage in my hips, and I believe this brace in part is how to do that.
Developing Post-Polio Syndrome (PPS)
Poliovirus Then and Now
I developed post-polio syndrome, or (PPS) when I was 32, and to that point I had not heard the term despite living so many years with polio. You may never have heard of post-polio syndrome, either, and this is true of most physicians too. A significant percentage of the people who got polio and survived, and particularly those who worked extra hard to achieve things despite having been stricken with the disease, have suffered later in their lives from this condition. To add to the complication of PPS, I suffered a partial stroke during surgery in 2018. I have trouble walking; it is not clear how much is related to stroke or the PPS.
The medical literature says this about PPS. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6371137/
It affects between 25–40% of polio survivors. And unlike polio itself, PPS is not contagious. But PPS is serious. Parts of the body that regain movement after being paralyzed by the original polio can again become paralyzed.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-polio-syndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20355669
Nearly all polio survivors who develop PPS do so within 15–40 years after their initial polio. When I first noticed symptoms, I was told it was age related and that everybody loses muscle strength. I was 32.
I’m doing the best I can with it, including getting as much exercise as I possibly can, which is a challenge when your legs don’t work well and you worry about falls. I believe in doing all I can with what I’ve got. And, of course I’m doing everything I can that might help me to retain as much quality of life as possible, which is why I fought to get the brace I knew I needed to give me quality of life.
I’m listening, in every moment that I can, for what I can learn and what I can love on this journey. In fact, when I start to feel depressed or start to feel sorry for myself, I will often think about Viktor Frankl and what he endured, and yet he came out on the other side whole . Or I’ll recall some of the things I love. Not just the things I like — that just wouldn’t be enough to shift my energy. But the things and the people I truly love. Like music, reading, writing, and having a purposeful life.
I’m going to be honest. was not all sunshine and roses, especially having to work hard against conventional “expert” medical thinking to get a brace I knew would make my life better. What I have learnt is no matter the challenges, one must look first to give meaning to it, and then move into action to improve their situation. As an Indigenous person I am carried on the backs of my ancestors.
I am my own avocate -
WE ARE NOT GARBAGE; SOMEONE KNOWS SOMETHING And CHOOSES TO REMAIN SILENT
In this blog are my thoughts on the matter of Missing and Murdered Indigenous women in Canada. (MMIW) Caution: reading this blog may be triggering to some.
My intention for writing this blog Is to motivate and inspire you, the reader to want to make a difference in this matter. You might think, how can I make a difference? I have some suggestions below on how you can help. Don’t disappoint me, please. Comment if this topic makes you think or do you remain indifferent.
First, I am an Indigenous woman from northern Alberta. If I went missing, I am confident my family would be concerned and would look for me. Not because I am educated, and a contributing member of society who pays taxes, but because I am a human being, and I matter!
My point is it shouldn’t matter if I were a drug addict, homeless and or earning a six figure income for people to care if get murdered.
My Connection to two victims
I imagine, because of the large number of missing and murdered Indigenous women, there must be several people in Canada who have been touched by either knowing someone who is missing or knowing of someone who is related to someone who is missing or has been murdered.
It is interesting being that I am from a small hamlet of less than 1500 people, and I know TWO Indigenous women who were murdered. A childhood friend first went missing, and then was found murdered in the United States. She was my classmate at Holy Angels Residential school in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta. I remember Sandra as a young girl with a beautiful smile. She was smart too. Years later, I had heard she made some questionable choices in her young life. One summer, she made a fatal mistake. She decided to go hitchhiking into the United States and was not heard from again.
Much later, her family received a call from the RCMP with devastating news that was delivered by phone, not even in person. The officer described how her body was dismembered and disposed of in garbage bags. Her DNA sample was the only way she was identified. Her killer is a person who picked her up and gave her a ride and was never convicted of her murder. Sandra was only 24 years old.
Ms. Amber Tuccaro, whose killer’s voice was heard on a chilling cell phone recording linked above is just one piece in a RCMP investigation, was also from my community, and was the daughter of my older brother’s classmate. We owe it as a society to care and to take some sort of collective action. I challenge everyone reading this blog post to do something. Write the PM’s office and demand he does something about the missing and murdered Canadian Indigenous women and girls. At the very least, share this blog on your social media. Do not underestimate the power you have to make a difference.
If we remain silent, our collective inaction speaks volumes about who we are as a society. The message this sends is loud and clear to me and perhaps to the murderers living freely among us, that Canadian Indigenous women and young girls can be raped, killed, and disposed of like garbage. When did our society become so indifferent to the violence against Indigenous women and girls? That is a rhetorical question because since colonization very little value has been placed upon an Indigenous person’s life.
It must STOP. Where is the outrage?? We need answers! They were human beings, members of our society. We should have protected these Indigenous women.
Sadly, we continue to hear stories of the discovery of missing and murdered Indigenous women and girls in 2023 and it will continue until we change our attitude about Indigenous women .
Are you interested enough to ask the questions?
- Who is doing this to the Canadian Indigenous women and girls?
- How many murderers are walking among us?
- Where are the bodies of these women and girls? If nothing else, we need to put them to rest by finding the bodies and bringing them back to their families for a proper respectful burial.
- How can you help
Consider if someone is murdering women and girls it could be someone you know. Even more of a concern, since this is not an isolated or regional matter, and is happening across Canada. There could be many murderers among us. Many Indigenous women have disappeared on the trail of tears highway in BC.
Recently Canadian serial killer Paul Bernardo has been in the news because he was transferred to a medium security prison. I remember in the 90’s, at least 3 people knew it was Bernardo who was raping and murdering teenage girls. These were Caucasian girls.
It makes me angry that as recent as this week an Indigenous young woman’s body was discovered in a landfill, discarded, like garbage. It is incomprehensible the outrage is only coming from Indigenous communities. It reinforces the belief that there is little value in an Indigenous woman’s life. Am I wrong?
Amber’s dismembered body was found in a ditch in Alberta the summer of 2012, Over 20 years ago, two years after she went missing. RCMP are appealing to the public to identify the voice in a recorded call from a cell phone. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mEeyd1sF6g Her murderer was never found.
A woman’s body was recovered from Winnipeg’s landfill on Monday July 17, 2023, the second in 10 months, with more believed to be buried.
The landfill is currently closed as police continue to investigate after 33-year-old Linda Beardy’s body was discovered at the beginning of the week. It should never be reopened as a landfill. “It should be turned into a memorial site because we know that there is more,” it was reported to CBC Manitoba Information Radio host Marcy Markusa on Thursday. In the context of this society bodies of murdered Indigenous women will be dumped if not this land fill, in other places where it would be as difficult to discover.
The truth is I am at a loss. I realize anger doesn’t help but is it enough to motivate you the reader to do something? What would it take to see a modicum of emotion and compassion about these girls and women from you? Well, to be fair, I do believe you care, how could you not care. However, I am not as sure that the enormity of the situation is really appreciated. Until you have personally experienced a loved one murdered you cannot fully understand the anger, the grief, bargaining and acceptance. Let’s say I was able to reach you and you ask the question what can you do? The first thing you can do is get on social media with the hashtag Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women #MMIW. Share this blog with your network encourage them to get on social media with the hashtag #MMIW.
The question remains, where are they? The conservative numbers of missing and murdered women is over 5,000. If your family member disappeared, what would you do to bring awareness.
What Next?Mr. Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, does it matter how many more must be reported missing or found pulled from dump sites, having been murdered? The Prime Minister has many priorities, but this must be one of them. The conversation around the discovery in a Manitoba landfill is disgusting, it is about the cost and manpower to continue searching the landfill, so they gave up leaving the enormous task to the Indigenous people. Sadly, I can’t be convinced it were a Settler, a non-Indigenous woman the conversation would be on cost. Nonindigenous women would be concerned that a murder is out there. They would organize themselves so they would be protected and safe. I am afraid the truth is there is virtually no value placed on an Indigenous woman’s life.
Why are the Prime Minister of Canada (PM), Royal Canadian mounted police (RCMP) desensitized to the plight of the surviving families, the parents, the siblings, and the friends of the Indigenous women who have disappeared or been found murdered?
Remember the Pickton murders in BC? Police were informed there may be a serial killer preying on indigenous women from Vancouver’s lower East Side. These concerns fell on deaf ears. It begs the question can Indigenous bodys be more dishonoured, in a landfill or given to pigs to be eaten so the evidence is destroyed. Both are equally disrespectful. Let’s not forget the Gladue case in Alberta. Thankfully, in that case the murder was charged.
In 2014, the Canadian premiers unanimously supported the request for an inquiry. Finding the body of Ms. Tina Fontaine had renewed the call to Mr. Harper then Prime Minister of Canada to call for an inquiry. Still, he remains steadfast against it.
An incomplete list of women and girls who have vanished or been murdered
RCMP Report Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women
Dr. Sarah Hunt What Should Be Done
Missing and Murdered Aboriginal Women in Canada
Sign the Liberal’s petition calling for a Federal inquiry into Missing and Murdered women
http://youtu.be/dBPo9FgRBj4 Missing and Murdered Aboriginal women in Canada video by grade 11 students.
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The Ugliness Of Social Media
At times, you need to wait to see clearly. Ottawa River affected by forest fires in Quebec It doesn’t matter to me what you believe about politics, religion, or vaccines, or if you are gay, single, or bisexual. I won’t hate you if we disagree. If we’re friends or family, I will look past our differences and look at what we have in common. At the end of the day I can choose to ignore your comments if you don’t agree with me, and get on with my life. You’re free to do the same. So what if you hurt my feelings?
Indeed I might get upset by something you said, but not enough to go to the extreme of disowning you. It has been done to me and I saw it it as an overreaction and it didn’t require the same reaction from me. I won’t play that game. Honestly I tried to get back the relationship, especially with family, (you know who you are). I am human after all, and I have feelings. But, I have moved on.
That said, if I feel you’re open-minded and mature enough to have a debate, I might debate with you. The truth is that no matter what our differences might be, I won’t take your opinion personally because it has nothing to do with me, even if your comments are directed at me. It is merely your opinion. and you have a right to it.
In the wake of the implosion of the Titanic submarine a few weeks ago, social media was flooded with personal opinions. There have been numerous comments on the tragedy and the fallout on social media was swift. Many people have unfriended each other based on what these comments meant to them. To be sure, there were some ugly comments in the news feeds. Emotions were volatile. By and large people held very strong opposing opinions. Mean things were written, and shared widely, largely to people who didn’t even know each other.
I was disappointed to discover even Indigenous peoples joined in the negative conversation. It was mixed with the notion of colonization and the disdain for the uber rich. Many Indigenous peoples see through the lense of colonization. Even celebrations like July 1, or Thanksgiving can seem negative when seen through this lense.
Personally I can separate colonization from the rich throwing caution to the wind to explore. Let’s not forget people died. However, I am thankful there are people brave enough to explore vast oceans, as long as they don’t upset the ecosystem. They are human too and it was their choice. Exploration creates a bigger world, and new discoveries .
Which begs the question, is social media making us inflexible and stupid? Are we becoming more egocentric, in that we believe our opinion matters and is paramount? I think, yes, we are and yes, we most certainly seem to be.
Social media gives us a false sense of courage, and ironically our anonymity online makes us feel important. The fact is that because we are not face to face, looking into the eyes of a person, that we have the courage to espouse our unfiltered and sometime knee jerk reactions to something we have read online . Often without knowing the context, but this can be an act of cowardliness. Furthermore, often we are not held responsible for the fallout that ensues after certain comments are posted. We can simply disappear from the conversation or troll silently following the discussion thread, feeling self-important, and right.
If I were to worry if someone won’t like what I blog about I might never blog at all. I urge you not to give up, exercise your creative outlet to blog.
I give pause when commenting on something I know little about. This is particularly true if I am commenting on something that has struck an emotional cord. Sometimes, I will read something online and say to myself, “OMG!” “idiot”, “Does that person not fact check”, “WTF!”, etc. then, I write a critical and judgmental comment. But I have trained myself to pause and decide whether to delete my comment because my opinion on social media to virtual strangers in the greater scheme of things, does not matter! I say to myself: is it worth my energy to continue?
I like that humanity is culturally diverse with varying points of view. I can’t imagine what this world would look like if everyone thought like me. Well, I can, and it would be awesome!
Overall, if you want a simpler life and keep your blood pressure down, don’t take everything you read on social media as a personal affront to your character, integrity, morals, or ethics. The more you let go of your ego, the freer you are and the less of a jerk you become. And if you are tempted to lash out in haste, it is very therapeutic to write exactly how you are feeling. But take a deep breath and then delete it or share it with a trusted friend. Maybe it will bring you a different perspective!
The foregoing was my opinion and hopefully it was not an affront to anyone who reads it.
Six generations of Indigenous women who never lost themselves on social media. -
Sunday LIVING INTO THE FUTURE
Ottawa River Sunset Over the summer, a technique I learned about in a course was how to live into your future.
We started with setting a date we want to accomplish something, and then you reverse engineer what you hope to accomplish by that date backwards until you reach today’s date.
For example, my friend Wants an organic orchard on his land not too far for from here. He asked me how can he accomplish this using this method? I gave him these steps to follow.
- Create your team. His team is a horticulturist, seed supplier, and a friend who has an orchard near Niagara Falls. He needs at least six members on his team.
- Meet with the team assign tasks and a system for measuring accountability.
- Map what needs to be done each week until you reached the specific date of completion.
- Visualize walking through the orchard look at the details how does the soil underneath your shoes feel is there a scent on the trees. I always have problems with this type of exercise because I have aphantasia, which means I can’t visualize images in my mind, but I can experience the feeling I want. Our brain does not know what is real or imagined, what feeling does a walk through your orchard give you I asked him?
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Inner Peace is in You
Discover Inner Peace 2022 March 13
It was after reading a friend’s Facebook page post it prompted me to write this blog post. Paul is a mediator and his words helped me focus on this piece. Thank you for your wisdom, Paul.
My garden Inner peace comes from a relationship that is based on acceptance, intimacy, and curiosity. Like a garden we need to weed out what does not serve us, and cultivate beauty, resilience,and strength. Sometimes this requires a change in perspective.
The late Zen Master, Thich Hanh Often wrote that peace should not be possessed, it should be a catalyst to help others suffering to discover peace.
As a long time, meditator, I am comfortable exploring my feelings in meditation. To know yourself more fully, explore with wonder each layer of who you are. My meditation practice became a lifeline after a brain injury a few years ago.
In 2018, I was diagnosed with left side neglect ((ischaemic right brain stroke during surgery, which meant at first , my brain could not recognize objects on my left side. I approached my brain injury with curiosity.
This injury led me to change my diet and empowered me to respond to a new version of who I am. I spent many hours researching the brain, reading, and listening to podcasts on neurology.
My first thought was not why me, but how interesting is it that our brain works like this. I was really intrigued. It was not easy but I persevered, and made peace with what happened by understanding what happened in my brain. One can always reconcile a negative event with a positive perspective. It helps the process to have the right question or statements of inquiry that will lead you to peace.
There is no right or wrong way of discovery. You’ll know it when it happens. I have found the key to peace is acceptance. Paul added the following steps, It is not verbatim. Meditate on these statements; to create a new perspective.
- I create my reality (trust). This perspective becomes available once we are aware of cause and effect.
- I am choosing what is happening (trust). Seeing ourselves as being endlessly creative.
- I welcome what is here (accepting our current experience).
- Appreciating physical sensations (intimacy). Appreciating the physical sensations in our body right now invigorates and increases the intensity of what we are experiencing. Think about eating your favorite food. When we slow down and taste each bite we feel more.
- I am the entirety of what I am experiencing (intimacy). What I am experiencing is creating the sense of me.
- Viewing life as being connect to all. (Cause and effect.,we are all connected) A flower does not exist without rain,sun and wind.
- I don’t know what I’m experiencing (Curiosity). Letting go of all ideas and labels about what it is we are experiencing. Looking at life as if we were a newborn baby seeing things for the first time. (wonder)
- I don’t know what I am. Creates space for possibilities.
- I experience a sense of excitement about what is about to happen next. Discovery of endless possibilities.
Discovering your way to a peace is not easy, we all have our own pain, sorrows, and fears. Give yourself time and space to embrace and recognize how you’re suffering. Be compassionate and gentle when,Starting an inquiry to self. However, remember there’s no right or wrong way to do this.
My meditation space/sauna -
Luezan Tue called Our Name
My family were environmentalists well before the term became popularized.
We are Denesuline people, from Northern Saskatchewan. We are strong, proud. Stewards, of Mother Earth. We take this responsibility seriously.
In the 70’s our dad answered the call of the land, and took his older children, to our traditional hunting lands. They hadn’t been back there for over 40 Decades until last summer of 2021. This is my dad’s legacy.
He answered the calling of the traditional lands, Luezan Tue, and inspired four generations to return to Djeskelni. He passed his baton to the next generation. He reaffirmed our sacred connection to the land. Everyone he took back to the land were transformed and carries the calling deep within their spirit.
In August, 2021, a small group of about of 17 family members went back to our land, organized by my nephew, Donald Deranger, who had gone there with Baba in the 1970s. They went to spread my late brother Patrick’s ashes around the lake to fulfill his last wish.It is clear to me that Patrick’s death facilitated a renewed interest back to our traditional land. The family answered the calling to return to the land. It is difficult to deny how powerful this spiritual calling is.
FAMILY MISSION
- Increase the quality of life for seven generations by building upon our rich Denesuline traditional heritage based on being stewards of the land, lending a helping hand, and create business ventures to generate profits and financial independence. Our family embodies Dene cultural tradition the pillars of which is respect, and to honour the teachings of our ancestors.
My family, like most Indigenous families, is complicated, affected by intergenerational trauma of colonialism, and residential school.
We have sometimes temporarily lost sight of family, our connection to each other and the spirit of our traditional lands. We are easily triggered and often will cut off one another from our life.
That said, I adore my Dene family, dysfunctions and all.
I read somewhere when you change the beginning of your story it changes the end of the story.
After I wrote this blog piece I went back and changed the beginning of our story.
I remain hopeful for the next seven generations. That they will continue to answer the call of our traditional lands. I see renewed interest in some of my nephews and nieces. The calling is strong in them, and I am hopeful.
Family Dene Camp 2021 
Djeskelni Bech’anie Decheny’ah Camp, on the south shore of Luezan Tue within the southwest region of the Etthen Edeli dialect region, about 40 miles south of Tu Cho, 
3 generations, my nephew Donald Deranger, his son, and grandchild. 
Sand dunes on our traditional lands 
Older sisters preparing wild meat from our land for the feast. 
Brother-in-law John Mercredi (not at the camp) when you listen closely to Dene drum you hear the heartbeat of the land. Acknowledgment
My brother, Roger for keeping traditional prophecies of the Denesuline alive.
My nephew Donald Deranger for holding the baton for the next generations, and last, but so important, my late brother Patrick, a sacred pipe holder for passing the baton to his daughter when he gave her the sacred responsibility and honour of spreading his ashes on our traditional land.
Patrick Deranger -
2022 striding into the new year with eyes wide open
My intention in 2022 is not about losing weight although I could stand to lose a few pounds, it is not about exercising more. I could do more of that too.
My intention, my goal for 2022 is to not live small, to show up in life because my actions matter and the people in my life deserve to see the very best version of myself, Which is to show up in service to indigenous peoples struggling with addressing their trauma.
The next Being a Leader course starts in January 2022. If your interested in creating the best life for yourself connect with Tanyss Munro tanyssmunro@gmail.com 2022 I will continue my journey of growth and transformation, particularly as it pertains to my foundation Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training. (G.I.F.T) I’m really excited To be part of a group of extraordinary humans on the foundation. Our vision has capabilities to be a game changer in the delivery of services to indigenous communities across Alberta.
First, I am excited to confirm renowned physician and expert on trauma Dr. Gabor Mate has agreed to support GIFT foundation in the capacity as advisor to our curriculum writers. secondly, we start the new year by inviting additional board members who hold expertise in the areas of psychology, sociology,, law, and curriculum development.
My late dad, Isidore and older brother Fred Deranger -
January 1, 2022!
Living on the river shore is captivating, every day there is something phenomenal happening on the river, the neighbors made a ice rink over the weekend. -
Family dynamics is difficult to navigate at times. Ditch the Negative Talk.
building in Fort Chip is a success 
Fort Chipewyan the Spirit is Alive -
Love Perspective
April giving her grandma a message #love,#compassion January 05 What is LOVE? (Hint a perspective)
Canadian born rapper spoken word artist a poet and now an international bestselling author who writes about love and goes by Humble The Poet. this is from his new book How to be Love
- Love Is always there
- There are no flaw that we have which prevents someone from loving us
- Show up in service for others
- Accept your body without judgement get naked look at yourself and list 5 things you love about your body, say it out loud, tell others. I love how strong my arms are for example, or my eyes sparkle and are beautiful
- Honor yourself with gratitude
- Dance with yourself daily get in tune with your body move with the music
- Practice doing something outside your comfortable zone If you’re afraid of heights go for a hike. If you fear public speaking, join toastmasters.
- Power is given to who you blame for your situation. Choose not to be a victim. Be accountable and responsibility for your situation, even if it is only 1% your fault, give the power to you.
- Reframe your perspective I am not my challenges. A partial stroke left me with long term deficits and it has not stopped me from starting a charitable foundation (seventhgift.ca) or producing and hosting a podcast, Empatic Witness, when there are literally thousand in existence.
- Be authentic and vulnerable
- Meditate take out am I doing it right or wrong? just be still
- Feel what you’re feeling. If you’re sad observe what you’re experiencing without judgement, be curious about that feeling.
- Identify that one positive thing in the negativity around you
Babies have all they need to be Love we can learn from them -
December 31, 2022 Leaning into Gratitude
We forgot to put the umbrella down before the high winds now we wait until Spring to remove it.! New Year’s resolutions: we love making them, right? We look forward to improving ourselves in some manner. Maybe it is to lose weight or find love. Or we just want to be a better version of who we were in 2022.
We believe by setting a New Year’s resolution we will get there. Does that work for you? Truthfully, it hasn’t worked for me. That said, each December 31st gives a space to hope for love and prosperity and a new beginning.
Last year, I did something different and created a gratitude jar. I didn’t assign myself any rules; I decided that only that when I felt gratitude, I would write it down on a sticky note and put it in the jar. I wanted to look at things that pulled me into gratitude instead of things that didn’t work out in 2022.
My first note of the year was in June “I talked to my nephew Mike D, and I felt we had pushed the reset button on our relationship.” Maybe it was just me because I got the feeling, he didn’t completely trust me, yet. I wrote “I am so grateful to have Mike in my life and offered him a position on Seventh Generation indigenous Foundation and Training (GIFT) seventhgift.ca board of Directors because of his involvement with youth. GIFT’s goal is to break the cycle of addictions in Indigenous communities within 3 generation. I thought he would like to be part of that movement. He turned down my invitation. We haven’t spoken since June. I think highly of him, he is a thoughtful successful businessman giving back by guiding and mentoring Indigenous youth though his company. I won’t stop hoping to regain his trust.
My intention for 2023 is to be open to all who are interested in having a relationship, even if we’ve had disagreements in the past. It is a new year and time to let the old year go.
Relationships came up continually in my gratitude jar for 2022. I reached out to a few people with a desire to create a better relationship with them.
It didn’t surprise me that in the months of May, June, September, and November, I expressed gratitude for my immediate family, and how much they supported me. I never take that for granted. In November, I expressed gratitude for my older sister, Mary and her husband, Ron for thinking of us on our 30th anniversary. I noted gratitude for my siblings: Jimmy, for daily texts, Rose for frequently phoning to check up on how I was doing, Mary for calling and giving me, family, health updates and Annie for telling me she thinks of her baby sister often. We always share laughter on these calls. And hubby for filling my kettle to make it easier for my morning tea, I am filled with gratitude when I think about all the little things he does for me, such as surprise me with Starbucks Chai tea, matcha tea, and cleaning up after dinner loading the dishwasher. Not to mention working hard to support the family.
I gave gratitude to Seventh Generation indigenous Foundation and Training (GIFT) which I founded for being my compass and giving me space for mental and spiritual growth. The GIFT Foundation also was a conduit to connecting me with my cousin and other family members as we developed our legacy course. Three out of nine board members are family.
My Empathetic Witness Podcast also expanded prominently throughout the year in my gratitude jar as I noted gratitude for guests who appeared on my podcast who gave their time and shared their knowledge continuing the conversation on Indigenous traditions, colonialism, trauma, mental health, diet, and addictions. I especially acknowledged family members who are on my podcast team, my granddaughter who is the editor and graphics designer, my daughter who is the researcher. My cousin, Leonard who gave permission to use his music, my brother Roger for his artwork. I am committed to recording 52 interviews in 2023 with phenomenal indigenous people. You won’t want to miss a single episode. Empathic Witness on Spotify.
My journey in 2023 will be guided by my pursuit of Awe. (happiness)
I bought four 100 Day Gong & Gratitude Journals for 2023 after reading Pedram Shojai, former Taoist monk and now physician of Chinese medicine. My fountain pens are cleaned and ready.
Gong is a Chinese term referring to a skill cultivated through daily practice. I simply commit to perform a certain action that will improve my wellness for 100 days in a row. If I miss a day, I must start over at day one. Before I start the journal, I need to ask myself what the one thing I time had to do that would bring me joy. I will use the Gong calendar to mark my progress by crossing out the box each day in my journal. I will reflect on the last 24 hours and write three things I am grateful for and why. I will use the journal to record the most meaningful experience I had in the previous day. Unlike the gratitude jar I will have everything contained in a journal which at the end of the year will be easier to read and see my progress.
May 2023 bring you much happiness, good health, and memorable adventures. You are the hero in your own journey. Happy New Year!
Lane to the house! -
Awestruck! Is the Fast Track to Happiness and Meaning- (Dacher Keltner)
Douglas Cardinal, architect of the Museum of Civilization in Ottawa Canada and Walter Janvier, mural painting on the ceiling of the museum are my favorite Indigenous artist who inspire awe with their work! As an Indigenous person I am gifted vibrant oral stories passed down for generations and our traditional ecological knowledge. We are intrinsically part of ecosystems and connected to, animals, people, and nature.
Seeing sunrise and the sunset brings awe. Walking in nature brings awe. Why not listen to music while walking in nature? Music and nature equal HAPPINESS.
What does it mean to be awestruck? Do you actively cultivate awe in your life?
Dacher Keltner A professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. His book is AWE: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and how it can transform your life. The following is from his new book.
He makes a bold statement at the beginning of his book; Awe is an emotion. He recommend a look at the map of emotional intelligence, think about the images that make us feel. They tend to be astounding and trippy. Tall trees, storm clouds the images in part that makes us feel beauty. Pretty faces Renoir like scenes in paintings they’re different. The Physiology of the vagus nerve is understanding the body and neurophysiology. When we are awestruck, there is a physical reaction.
The Physiology of the emotion people tell us what it’s like to feel awe they would say I was at this festival of Guadalupe in Mexico City, or I saw the Grand Canyon and it blew my mind.
This emerged in mammalian, in evolution to help us connect and be open to other people and it’s correlated with feeling open to others empathy kindness and in studies when we see incredible imagery of nature people have elevated vagal tone and that’s really good news for how you function in the world.
The tears are coming out of the lacrimal gland behind your cornea it’s again part of social kindness-oriented regions of your nervous system the parasympathetic branch and you tear up when we see young people perform on stage, or you’re walking through the streets of the city and see somebody help another stranger we tear up at these moments of people being communal and kind and the goosebumps are amazing. The rushes of goosebumps up the back of your neck and your arms when you’re emotionally touched, or in other words awestruck.
- Warm sensation in the chest- the vagus nerve is the largest bundle of nerves in the mammalian nervous system really complicated starts at the top of your spinal cord wanders through your chest influences breathing, and heart rate.
- Tearing up
- Goosebumps those are little muscles around your hair follicles they contract, and they tend to signal in the mammalian world like it’s time to be together and a face mystery together there a sign of togetherness and leaning into each other.
I ask the question for each of us when we feel these deep experiences How do we interpret it? For some people it’s about divinity and it’s God it’s I have a soul.
I personally I like Wilson, the evolutionary biologist he’s like isn’t it incredible that evolution working for billions of years billions of adaptations natural selection produce nature and ecosystems that can appreciate. Niagara Falls, Sand Dunes, it blows my mind I feel it’s a very personal and complicated question but one reflecting on.
- Mysterious connect to one another gives us purpose and meaning
- Moral Beauty, courage kindness,
- Nature
- Music – synchronise- brains Concerts draw us together as we listen to music.
- Visual Design, pottery, patterns give us Awe
- Stories of awe must be self-discovered
- Stories of life and death, mystical discovery instil awe.
- Epiphanies
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A CHRISTMAS A TIME for REFLECTION and CONNECTIONS
A human’s best pal _ no ego no problem! Don’t leave friends out in the cold We must work on our relationships to experience freedom. There is no relationship that can’t be restored with effort and when we give up our ego, and meet each other soul to soul soul.
Think about that difficult phone call you made to someone you have had a breakdown in your relationship with and how it positively impacted your relationship. I have initiated number of these calls in the past I restored my relationship with an older brother months before his passing his last text to me was thank you baby sister. It meant a lot to read his text.
When I called, my friend I was nervous and afraid and she was incredibly generous, and authentic. We had a powerful conversation. I’ve since discovered our time together is limited. Every day since I appreciate her more each day.
I wish for you to experience this Christmas a new possibility in your relationships. It might be with your brother, a sister, cousin, nephew, niece, boss, partner, grandchildren or aunt.
Making a difficult choice came with the best reward I could wish. But I had to lean into my bravery to do realize the reward. That meant I had to risk rejection. And it was worth it. We both felt the conversation although difficult, restored balance in our relationship.
That said, sometimes the process must be repeated many times. Don’t give up.
People hold on to grudges and choose this mountain to die on, “I am Right”. Three words so powerful it kills relationships. To be right people will stop all communication, even in the face of the other party trying to reach out, sometimes, regretfully. I’ve been suborn holding a on to a grudge, but I’ve also been the other party reaching out to re-establish a connection.
Below, I write what people might say about one another when there is a breakdown in their relationship.
To that point, I am aware of things have been said about me behind my back too. I know that I have hurt people with my words and actions. The impact of my actions are that I lose the respect and love of people closest to me. The impact on them is they believe I am untrustworthy, and fake. Because of my actions it may make it difficult for them to trust other people in my family. I am willing to rebuild their trust in me if they allow me the privilege.
Three people I regret hurting and lost their respect and love are a niece a nephew, and a very close friend. I mentioned I restored my friendship with my friend above. With my nephew and niece, it is still a work in progress. I am waiting for a call back from both. I will never stop trying to recreate what we once had with them, I feel their loss in my life deeply.
look honestly at the following points and see if you recognize if you said this about someone. Change them to a positive statement towards the person you are having a challenging relationship with. And I dare you to call them, begin with I saw you as___________________________
But I come to discovered you are__________________________
- He/She /Them/They don’t notice when they hurt people with their actions
- 2.He/She/ Them/They think they’re better than everyone
- 3.He/She /Them/They are greedy
- 5.He/She /Them/They can’t be trusted
- 7.He/She /Them/ use bad medicine to get what they wanted
- He/She /Them/They interfere in my life uninvited
- He/She /Them/They I can’t do anything right in their eyes
- 11. He/She /Them/They are untrustworthy
- 12. He/She /Them/They gossip and spread lies
- He/She /Them/They have no compassion or empathy
- I don’ want them in my life because ___________________________
People stubbornly get more entrenched in their behavior because they feel justified, in being right. It must look like there are no new possibilities in that relationship and they decide the effort is too much to restore their relationship.
Fortunately, I discovered there is always a possibility for a renewed relationship when you lean into being brave and are willing to change your perspective.
The question becomes is it necessary to forgive someone to reset your relationship? Discover for yourself after you do the exercise.
I challenge you to make 2023 a year where you clean up your relationships with the people you have the most difficulty with. Follow the steps.
- Recognize the story you are telling about the person is not serving you.
- Rewrite all the negative statements you say about that person with positive statements, be willing to let go of the hurt and being right.
- Call That person if they don’t pick upkeep trying.
- Ask How is your behavior preventing you from having allies
Ask yourself what is stopping you from initiating contact with that person? Maybe that person is me? I am willing to restore our relationship so what is holding you back from reaching out to me?
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A DOGHEAD CHRISTMAS
My Mom and me a couple of years before she passed away. Christmas Deranger style,In Doghead! Fort Chipewyan, Alberta
I hold memories of my childhood Christmases in my heart, after we were allowed home for Christmas from residential school. When I first in residential school I remember receiving a gift and attending Midnight mass in the mission. But my happiest memory is when we went home for Christmas.
Like stepping into a world woven from snow, starlight, and the whispered breath of the northern wind. Long before the world rushed in with malls, plastic decorations, and noise, our Christmas was shaped by hands. It was shaped by land and by the quiet magic of being part of the Deranger family.
In those days, our little house stood nestled among the snowy northern woods. It was warmed by a wood stove that never seemed to sleep. Outside, the air was crisp. Snow draped itself across the rooftops like soft white lynx. Even the spruce trees appeared dressed for celebration. Their branches were heavy with snow. The snow twinkled whenever the moon unveiled itself.
Christmas was noisy chaotic, and included the customary walk to church for midnight mass. I don’t know how they managed to get us into fresh washed and ironed clothes and to church on time. Especially my brothers who had so much energy and spunk. Even on the walk to the church, they did not contain their excitement.
When the moon was bright, I noticed sparkles on the snow like tiny diamonds. I remember a crunchy sound as our boots broke through the thin layer of ice on the snow. The Northern Lights would make an appearance. They created a brilliant display of colorful dancing lights. We were enchanted no matter how many times we saw them.
Magic was everywhere like glitter. We, my parents and a dozen young children lived in a small house without electricity or plumbing. That means no Christmas lights, but the coal oil lamp was bright enough. We used ordinary plates for Christmas dinner. We children received exactly one gift for Christmas each. I don’t mention that to get sympathy, but to explain we were happy despite it.
I am grateful for my sister Dora and older brother Peter. Along with mom and dad, they did their best to create a magical Christmas for all of us kids.
At Christmas our house was magical. Thanks to the cleaning, cooking, and decorating of the tree, they put garland on the ceiling and doorways. Meanwhile, the small radio played set on 630 Ched played Christmas carols. We didn’t have cloth tablecloths, or curtains. Instead, we replaced the old plastic curtains and tablecloth with a new festive Christmas theme.
After midnight mass, we ate a festive late dinner before opening our gift., We opened our gift before going to sleep, feeling satisfied and happy. These rituals created a symbiotic flow in our home filled with anticipation and wonder. We had a stress-free Christmas. As far as we were concerned as children, we never noticed any tension between the adults. On Christmas day community members came to visit bringing food and treats for us kids.
When we believe in Christmas, we, will notice that special magic in the air. And as children how we allow our mind to explore without being encumbered by the expectations of others’. Have your children experience a Christmas they will carry in their heart for a lifetime.
Merry Christmas to you and Yours
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My name is Authenticity
Dr. Betty Bastien Blackfoot Elder Extraordinaire Years ago, my social worker friend and I drove to a First Nations community in Alberta. Along the way she shared with me stories, the loss of her husband when she was in her twenties, her relationship with her mom. She told her stories like it was possible for me to experience. I was touched, moved, and inspired by her words and bravery.
I decided to enroll in leadership courses, not just any type of leadership course but with Landmark Education because of its transformational curriculum. I continued my quest for self-improvement the years since that drive and it serves me well.
In Man Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankel. He says we must answer the question who are we being? The answer gives us purpose, particularly if it is in service to others. If you live into bravery by your action even in the face of fear at personal cost, you create a new possibility for yourself.
Believe in a new possible future by letting go of what is not working in your life and reach for possibilities you never thought possible.
Why do I say my name is authenticity? it is because every day I lean into being authentic. And, if I notice I am not authentic, I asked the question what is stopping me in this moment? Doing so I create a space for a new possibility of being.
Beginning today what is your name? Who are you being?
- Brave
- Integrity
- Authentic
- Leader
- Compassionate
- Explorer
- Lover
- Teacher
- Healer
- Hero
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HAPPINESS is WITHIN YOU
Me, not sure what made me laugh but I love this pix. I wish you happiness! Elbert Hubbard, a well-known American writer, and philosopher, said “Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.”
This means you have control over your happiness. You can train yourself to be happy. The most important thing to understand is happiness like, a spark can ignite into something big within you. Don’t wait for something special to be happy. Here is how you can be happy without trying.
- Happiness is contagious, be around happy people call someone who makes you laugh.
- Connecting with a friend will make you happier, but you must be 100% present and listen to what they say.
- Go outdoors, you won’t “try” to be happy you will BE happier.
- Floral scents and fresh flowers will brighten your mood.
- Aim for specific goals – Consciously take steps to make yourself happy 15 minutes at a time. Make yourself a nice cup of tea or coffee and reflect on your blessings while you sip it.
- Make the mundane exciting, connect it with something you regularly do. For instance, say “I will listen to my favorite songs and dance with abandonment for 20 minutes after arriving home from work while doing chores.
- Make repetition fun – Relate your actions with things you love. Combine your desire to be happy and your love for certain things. Listening to your favorite song while you clean is good. Reading while you soak luxuriously in a bathtub.
- Look for the appropriate social support – We are influenced by what we consume. Music, tv, or podcast and reading. These can inspire you. Which is why I listen to happiness podcasts. One of the meditation apps I use is called 10% happier.
- No matter what occurs in the day find something good about it. Reduce your complaints 10% each day.
- Finally do something for someone to make them happier.
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One Word -Senses
December 8, Beginning another spin around the sun! I am blessed and grateful for gifts received, yesterday. I appreciated all my gifts with my senses to savor the moment.
- Sight – received a couple of beautiful flower arrangements.
- Scent -the bouquet of roses we’re fragrant and reminded me of summer
- Sound – talk on the phone with a couple of family members who wished me a Happy Birthday, it’s music to my ears. And received beautiful headphones. I when I opened it, I said Oh no, I might get killed and not know it is going to happen. lol but a few minutes later, after installing the software into my phone, I said, this is amazing! Normally I don’t listen to noise cancelling headphones because I want to be able to hear the ambient sounds if someone comes to the door or walks up behind me. But these headphones allow you to hear ambient sound and I don’t need to be worried while listening to podcast or whatever.
- Taste – the chocolate cake was moist and so delicious
- Playful fun, and laughter – I received a couple of games for the switch and had so much fun last night playing these new games with Andrew.
- Touch- I have something coming in today from my girls in Hawaii, and I can’t wait to open it.
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Building A bridge in Our Everyday Dialogue Is Part of Truth and Reconciliation
My dad, Isidore Deranger and older brother, Fred Deranger
I started Empathic Witness podcast in October 2020. It has over a thousand subscribers. I admit this is minor, but it is steadily building, and listeners are returning to hear new episodes. By the end of 2022, more amazing Indigenous peoples from across Canada whose words inspire everyday Canadians can be heard on this podcast.
My guests include professors, Chiefs, a clinical psychologist, Indigenous people in the health and wellness domain, lawyers, cultural Indigenous language keepers, and cultural knowledge keepers.
When the Honourable Mary Simon was appointed the first Indigenous Governor General in Canada’s history last year, the Honorable Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, said we need people to build bridges. I agree, it is important to build bridges between Indigenous peoples and the rest of Canada. Each of us has a part in this, no matter how big or small.
The Empathetic Witness Podcast is doing its part in building bridges during this historic time of Truth and Reconciliation. We are finding a way to build communication bridges in our everyday dialogue so we can give dignity and respect to all people. Let’s walk together and learn how to address one another respectfully.
As an Indigenous woman and a survivor of the Holy Angels’ Residential School in Fort Chipewyan, Alberta, it gives me immense pride to invite Indigenous people across Canada as my guests. My podcast is not political; it is educational and healing.
The format is designed as an intimate salon conversation into which you are invited to eavesdrop. Episodes are an hour in length. in 2023 we will be introducing shorter podcasts, 15 to 20 minutes, as teasers for the longer one-hour version. I enjoy getting my guests to talking about their lives, their hopes, sometimes their setbacks but mostly their achievements.
The Empathetic Witness Podcast is a part of a charitable foundation I founded during the pandemic, Seventh Generation Indigenous Foundation and Training (GIFT) (seventhgift.ca) The podcast’s goal is to create a national conversation on Indigenous topics, highlight Indigenous peoples who are role models and have made a difference to Indigenous Peoples and Canadian citizens, and to assist in the healing from addiction, colonization, and trauma. The podcast format is based on compassionate inquiry. Compassionate inquiry is a psychotherapeutic approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté, a Canadian physician who specializes in trauma and addictions and who is an advisor to GIFT Foundation.
Empathetic Witness Podcast is found at Empathetic Witness (google.com)
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From the Shores of the Ottawa River 
